View Full Version : Ever give money to a stranger
Currently away from home tonight with work in the sulubrious heights of Wolverhampton. Que the usual night at the Bilash for a Ruby. Anywho on the way back to the hotel I was stopped by a stranger asking for some money. Story this time was a bit different in that the asian guy who had stopped me had been told that a gang of white kids told him he was P*** scum and that no good white boy would give a P*** any money to get back to Manchester.
Now coming from Manchester maybe the tried and tested story of him being born and bred Mancunian was lost on me as he sounded as mancunian as I sounded as Swiss.
Anyway cutting a long story short I didn't have any money on me even if I didn't want to give him any. It got me thinking, are there any genuine people out there who do need just that little bit of help just to get on with a particular situation. It's probably very easy to castigate people who live on the streets as parasites and why can't they make there own way in life. That said I would hate to be so low that my life was dependent on asking a complete stranger for a peg up
Blighter
26-11-2008, 00:39
Dejavu ;D
I don't normally. If it's some odd person that needs 10p for the bus as they are short then fair enough.
Simple rule: Those who beg don't get. If they're genuinely struggling then that's different.
Del Lardo
26-11-2008, 01:30
I won't give money to a begger but I will buy them a hot drink or some person/dog food if I'm in the mood. I once paid for a week in a hostel for a homeless guy after I saw him helping out a lady who was being hassled but I went there with him and paid the hostel.
Too many experiences of beggers with sob stories who are just after money for stuff other than food and shelter. Had a guy stop me when I was walking home from the pub one night asking for £12.50 for a night in the shelter, I asked him which one and as it was on my way home I offered to go with him to pay. He said he'd rather have the money so he lost his chance. Sounds like a rather harsh attitude but I don't like being lied to, strange thing is that if he'd asked for £10 for 4 cans of Tennants and a packet of cigarettes I probably would have given it to him as I was in a very good mood that night.
I've bought food for beggars but won't give them money.
SidewinderINC
26-11-2008, 09:37
I stood in Guildford train station for an hour waiting for my sister to come and pick me up a few months back, and I saw something incredible.
Two blokes (who acted for the most part like they didn't know eachother) walking around asking for 40p to get them their train fayre, and then standing in the queue after being given the 40p, only to leave it after the person had wandered off to get their train.
This continued for the whole hour I was there, god knows how long they were there before I arrived but they both asked me (on several occasions) whether I had 40p for them.
The final time they came up to me I was blunt with them and said "I've seen what you've been doing, it's a cunning scheme, how much have you made today?" and after giving me a load of verbal about how I didn't know anything they said they'd made about £150 between them so far that day in about 4 hours.
Safe to say now that if a stranger asks me for money I'm not so keen to reach into my pocket.
Stan_Lite
26-11-2008, 09:43
I've given a quid to beggars a couple of times when I've been in a good mood but I don't make a habit of it.
A couple of other times, I've helped out people who were a bit short. Once on a bus, a young woman with a little girl didn't have the correct change and the awkward bus driver wasn't going to let her on unless she gave him the correct money so I paid their fare. Another time there was a little old lady in front of me in the supermarket who only had a few basic items. She didn't have quite enough money in her purse and was trying to decide whether to put back her pint of milk or her loaf of bread (she insisted the cat food had to stay). I was pretty sure both these items were important to her so I bunged her 50p so she could keep them both.
I would be very wary of these people who claim to have lost the money for their train fare home etc. - apparently it's a very lucrative business.
I went and bought the big issue man a cup of tea yesterday :) He looked freezing and was really pleasant.
But money - no.
It's a hard one though as when working alongside the drug squad, you did come across so many crack heads that would beg and do anything for money and any money they did have they'd use to feed their habit. People always say no to giving money beggars because of this, but what bothers me is if you don't give them money (which I don't) they *will* find a way of getting money - be it lawfully or not (most of the time not).
Example: Young girl aged 16. Her family history was actually not too bad but due to a divorce she went a bit off the rails and ran away. She stayed with friends - did the normal thing of rebelling but got in with a crowd which wasn't so grand. Folks got pretty naffed off (she flitted back and forth to them but started doing things unlike her - stealing money, bad tempers, lows, highs etc. She'd got hooked on crack and basically it was eating away at her. Not an ideal home as they were still going through a break up but both parents were so supportive). Anyway, grade A student, absolutely stunning girl ended up within a year leaving home and before you know it she's a prostitute trying to feed her addiction. She'd regularly crop up in dodgy areas and we'd always receive phonecalls from people saying "this tramp girls back begging for money again".
I don't know what's happened from that point onwards but things weren't looking too grand. She'd been admitted of ODing a number of times and stopped once, wavering on a bridge about to throw herself off.
Now for me... it's hard for me to say "don't give her money, she'll spend it on crack" when I know this once beautiful, young girl will go out anyway and shag the nearest stranger to feed her addiction. It's a quandry in my head as - ideally you'd give her support but if you're not able to do that and have a choice of giving her money or not... do you give her money knowing it might keep her out of dangers way for a day or do you refuse and let her get into a car with some stranger for a tenner.
It's soul destroying.
Dymetrie
26-11-2008, 09:58
I refuse to give money to beggers on the principle that, from where I work, I know it's more than likely going to be spent on drugs or booze.
Mrs Dym sometimes gives money to buskers, which is fair enough.
Sunday night on the tube home there was a young lad going through the carriages trying to get money for somewhere to sleep that night. I didn't want to give him any money but spoke to him and told him to get off at Kings Cross and call the Camden SST (Safer Streets Team, and I did happen to have their contact number on me) as they'd be able to help find him somewhere to stay. No idea if he did or not but he was very grateful for the information and advice which made me think he honestly was after money for somewhere to stay :)
I always feel saddened when I see people begging on the street, it just makes me realise that there are a lot of people in the world who are much worse off than I am. It really tends to hit home if it's obviously someone young. I have a vivid mental image of a kid who looked about fifteen sitting in the stairwell in Leicester Square underground station holding a piece of cardboard with 'homeless' written on it.
I do occasionally hand over some cash, the most recent was about three weeks ago, I popped into a drive through for some munchies, it was absolutely tipping it down and as I was at the collection point a guy who was more drenched than I thought possible came up to the drivers window and gave the usual line of "got any spare change please, mate?" I gave him a couple of quid and he responded with a huge smile and "thanks very much". It's not much, but I felt good about it.
I once gave a tenner to a man in Liverpool St Underground.
It was obvious he had been in a fire as his face and hands were totally burned :(
I haven't given for ages.. must be the Londoncentricity thing again.
BB x
It's a big bump here.
I was walking to the cash machine near the station today and there were a couple of teenagers sitting by the bus stop asking passers by for any spare change. I muttered "no" and walked on by. The girl responded with a cheery "ok, thank you" as she did to everyone they spoke to.
I got some cash out, walked past on the way back to work and I felt awful. I was almost back in the office when I just turned round, went the 50 yards or so back and said "Yes, I have" and dropped a £2 coin in the hat they had on the floor. This was at the same time as someone came from the opposite direction and gave them a couple of portions of chips.
This sort of thing still really gets to me and I think that seeing people begging in the streets is something I will never get used to.
TinkerBell
13-05-2010, 23:35
I don't think I have given money to people on the street, but I have if I have seen someone short a few at a shop or getting the bus, I see it just the same as helping someone who can't reach the high things in supermarket's.
It has only ever been less than a pound. I think I just like to help people, who need it
I feel sorry for such people but I won't give them money... if I have the possibility of buying them some food then I'd consider doing that - but I'm afraid i'm probably too selfish. Not proud of it but it's the honest truth.
If I saw someone in desperate need for a couple of quid for a bus then I may evaluate the situation - but I'd take any/every situation at a time. My general instinct would be to not.
I had one unpleasant experience where I offered some change and the guy kicked off about "is that it?" "give me more money" and really starting to get aggressive - I walked away cautiously keeping an ear/eye out in case he tried to attack me. I don't want that to happen again as I'd probably end up in prison.
I have such strong empathy for those in a homeless or sleeping rough situation as I couldn't think of anything worse than having no where to go or nobody to turn to :(
When I lived in Plymouth the homeless situation there was notable and around my locale, you got to recognise the 'regulars' as strange as that sounds.
One particular young man I couldn't ignore as he looked incredibly young, was silent and not particularly in a 'begging location' (i.e. was sat behind a low car park wall for Co-op). A friend and I approached him and asked if he was alright as he looked genuinely atrocious.
His story was that he was just 18, his family had torn apart due to bereavement on several fronts and he was truly alone from loved ones and friends. He had been on the street in freezing cold, wet Plymouth with no food, shelter or support- when we offered to buy him a drink and something to eat he asked if instead of a sandwich he might be able to have another milkshake as he has gotten so used to going without food that a sandwich on his stomach would make him sick :'(
Upon chatting to him further he said how people treat him like dirt when they have no understanding of his situation, and how everyone assumes he only wants drink or drugs... "I can't afford to eat, how can I afford tinnies or drugs?".
As what happens with these folk, we saw him about for a month or so before he disappeared for good, I hope he somehow managed to get out of his situation.
I don't really have issue with giving beggars cash. If they piss it away on drink or drugs or whatever, who am I to judge. I'm in no position to make a big difference to their lives, if a litre of White Lightening keeps them warm then that's up to them. It's not ideal and pretty simplistic but that's how's I feels :)
A Place of Light
14-05-2010, 18:33
Many times, but it depends on the individual. If it looks to me like they're just a "chancer" and not someone facing real hardship then they get zip.
I only give money to honest beggars, if they ask me for some money to get fags or beer then I'll probably give them some :D
I'll help someone if they are short and I can help.
About 7 or 8 years ago I was out in town with my friends for the usual- evening in the vodka bar then copious amounts of cheese and chips before the walk home. There was one of the 'regular' beggars in there, totally notorious and extremely abusive.
Anyway, she had a large meal which she sat and ate on the table next to us. 20 minutes later on the walk home, we were approached by her and asked for money as she was £1.50 short of money for the night shelter.
The honest answer she got from me was 'You should've just had a happy meal'. We all knew she was living in the house next door to some of the friends we were out with.
I've just come back from the shops (got IDed again!); as I was leaving a guy asked if I had any change, I said no (my automatic response) and he was polite and said no worries thanks anyway. Walked round the corner past the car park machine and there was a quid on the floor, so I picked it up and went back and gave it to him - cue big smile and lots of thanks from him.
Don't generally give money, but used to drop a flask of coffee off to the Big Issue man next to the shopping centre in town and pick it up on my way back, and once gave my gloves to a nice lady Big Issue seller because it was bloody icy that day.
I'm always seeing a different Big Issue man who laughs at me as I'm always rushing past in a hurry. He thinks I'm a right nutter.
Last winter I was going into the local grocery store and there was a guy there asking for spare change. I (politely) asked why he didn't get a job. His response was he hadn't found one that would take him on (disabled). This was right around Christmas time and the Salvation Army was trying to get people to be bell ringers. I suggested this to him and there was genuine surprise in his eyes as he said he'd completely forgotten about them!
Offered him a ride over to their recruiting station. He was almost flabbergasted at the offer and tripped over his tongue with thanks.
Got him over there, waited to see if he got hired or not, then gave him a ride right back to the store he was begging at with his bell and coin tower in the back of the Jeep.
That man was out there from when the store opened at 6AM until it closed at 10PM 6 days a week (store's closed Sundays). In the freezing cold. I drove past one time and beeped the horn and when he waved there was snow fell off his coat!! But he was out there!
A month or so after the season ended and the Salvation Army closed up the bell ringer shop I met him in the same store and he was buying groceries. Talked to him for almost an hour. He had saved up enough to put a deposit on a bachelor apartment and bought himself a bicycle to get around on. The job reference from the Salvation Army was apparently glowing enough it landed him a full time desk job at an attorney's office.
Blighter
16-05-2010, 21:54
omg, that's amazing!! You must feel so happy with yourself :)
Not so much happy with myself as I am happy for him!!
All I did was make a suggestion at the right time for him. He did all the work!
He's an amazing inspiration to me. I see him every once in a while at the store. While homeless he fell asleep and his right leg was severely damaged from the hip down due to frostbite. He has refused numerous attempts to get him on Social Security Disability. Says his disability is his own dumb fault and will not take charity for what he calls a stupid mistake.
But he's willing to work 16 hours a day 6 days a week to make things better for himself. Inspirational indeed.
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