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Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:07
Been a while huh? You'll be thrilled to know, standards have been considerable raised!

My boyfriend came round unexpectedly the other day.
That's the last time I buy Tesco Value chloroform.

Silence is golden.
Failing that, duct tape is silver


I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, "Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side."
It made me cross.

The Chelsea board.
The Metropolitan Police.
A lady with an itchy crotch.

They all regret going for that Brazilian.






I'm here all night ladies and gents :D

Burble
08-03-2009, 00:08
:pebbles: ;)

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:09
I loved it so much, I put my name on it ;)

Feek
08-03-2009, 00:11
I've been on the ale tonight :)

Pebs, I just saw your other thread, are you famouser now?

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:12
Oh, very! My voice said about 10 words on national TV!

Fayshun
08-03-2009, 00:13
Famouser? My new fave word!

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:13
Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually.
It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:14
I got caught shoplifting by the security guard in French Connection today.
What a cnut.

Feek
08-03-2009, 00:15
Oh, very! My voice said about 10 words on national TV!

I want to hear you, I want to hear you, I want to hear you. Why did we not get advance notice?

Burble
08-03-2009, 00:17
I loved it so much, I put my name on it ;)

Naming that smilie was probably the only good thing I did when I was adminning BD :)

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:18
I didnt know! Its only my voice! I'm hoping beyond hope the melon incident is on the editing floor!

Burble
08-03-2009, 00:19
Your melons are on the floor?

Fayshun
08-03-2009, 00:23
Your melons are on the floor?

It happens at her age.

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:24
It's what belts were invented for ;)

Fayshun
08-03-2009, 00:29
It's what belts were invented for ;)

Jodie Marsh and Pebs, Essex girls who know how to use a belt!

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:34
I found out why Toblerone is triangular today.

So it fits in the box.

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:35
Got done by the police the other day. According to the courts, wrapping your wang in the Beano and ****ing is not part of Comic Relief.

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:45
Those energy saving light bulbs are a load of rubbish.
After fitting them, I was just as knackered as when I fitted the ordinary ones.

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:58
I went to a police station and said, "What are those pictures on the wall then?"

The Chief Inspector said, "Those are pictures of wanted criminals."

I looked at him and said, "Why the hell didn't you arrest them when you took their photos?"

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:59
What do you call a Teletubby that's been burgled?

A tubby.

Pebs
08-03-2009, 00:59
And on that note, it's bedtime :D Yes yes Burble, you don't need to say it...thank god for that! :D

Von Smallhausen
08-03-2009, 02:06
I got arrested last night.

Apparently, sitting on a bus and whacking off with your penis in a rolled copy of the Beano is not an acceptable form of comic relief.

Fayshun
08-03-2009, 02:15
Got done by the police the other day. According to the courts, wrapping your wang in the Beano and ****ing is not part of Comic Relief.

I got arrested last night.

Apparently, sitting on a bus and whacking off with your penis in a rolled copy of the Beano is not an acceptable form of comic relief.

:/

Von Smallhausen
08-03-2009, 02:38
Tits and rats cocks.

DENIED !!!!!

Fayshun
08-03-2009, 02:45
Joke FAIL!

Von Smallhausen
08-03-2009, 03:05
I went to the doctors and told him I was obsessed with having sex with the biscuit tin.

You're obviously ****ing crackers he said.

Von Smallhausen
08-03-2009, 03:07
Marvellous thing this wireless notebook.

I am at work at the minute.

Blackstar
08-03-2009, 03:25
I didnt know! Its only my voice! I'm hoping beyond hope the melon incident is on the editing floor!
No headlights eh Pebs ;)

Briggykins
08-03-2009, 09:09
What do you call a Teletubby that's been burgled?

A tubby.

Good joke, would LOL again. A++

Pheebs
08-03-2009, 09:17
Hahahahha! *claps hands* MORE MoOORe!! :D

Nutcase
08-03-2009, 09:55
More more they's funny!

Pebs
08-03-2009, 14:39
Von you goon!

I've told the melon story, I'm sure I have. I'll post more later once I've fed teh 5000.