Who else is happy to be single? [Archive]

Stan_Lite

14-02-2010, 09:25

There seems to be a popular belief that single people all get maudlin and sad on Valentine's day and wish they had someone special to share the day with. Contrary to this belief, I am absolutely delighted to be single today. I don't feel the need to be sharing it with someone else and I'm happy that I don't feel forced into being ripped off by card and gift manufacturers.

I like being single. Having been in two long term relationships, I know what it's like from both sides and, on balance, being single wins it for me. I've been single for nearly 15 years now and I've never been happier. It's hard to explain without sounding selfish and self-centred but I like having the freedom to do pretty much what I want, when I want and not have to consider how it affects a partner. Having a flatmate does mean that certain behaviour is restricted in the interests of common decency but, for the most part, I can do whatever I want without having to explain myself. Most importantly, I can be the person I want to be rather than be the person I should be to keep someone else happy.

Sometimes, I just feel like getting up and going for a walk or have a drink or got to my play room and do stuff or just be alone without explanation. No matter how understanding your partner is, they don't always understand when you want to do things like this and feel vexed or hurt if you feel the need to do stuff without them.

I know quite a few of the couples on here personally and know that you're happy as couples and I'm delighted for you all. Thank God everybody doesn't feel the same as me or the country would be very sparsely populated :p I'm not against relationships, I'm just not convinced they're the be all and end all as far as I'm concerned.

Also, I'm not saying I will never be in another relationship. For the moment, there is nobody I know who I care enough for to give up my freedom. Who knows though? Maybe she's out there waiting to steal my heart as we speak. I do miss nookie though - sympathy shag anyone? ;)

How about the other singles? Are you all just waiting for the right person or are you, like me, happy how you are? What about the people in relationships? Do you feel you need to be in a relationship to be happy or can you be happy by yourself? I have heard it said that if you can't be happy by yourself, you'll never be truly happy in a relationship.

Ended up typing a bit more than I expected there :o

Mark

14-02-2010, 09:54

I find myself broadly in agreement with you Stan, though I've never been in a relationship.

My mum - understandably - seems keen for me to 'find someone' given my problems, and I don't deny that having someone in the household who can drive would be a very good thing as far as I'm concerned. Even more so when the inevitable happens and my mobility starts to suffer (though touch wood that'll be many years hence). However, I consider myself too set in my independent ways and feel like I'd end up in an all take and no give situation, which is untenable as far as relationships are concerned.

In short: If I worried about not having a relationship all the time, I'd be sad, so I don't. Doesn't mean I don't crave companionship however - it can be very lonely here.

Knipples

14-02-2010, 10:06

Frankly I wouldn't say I was "happy" being single, but it doesn't bother me that much, I would rather be with the right person, than someone for the sake of being with someone.

I just have to hope they come along one day and find me. I hate myself for saying this, but I do have to fight the slight bit of jealousy I have with those people I know who are in great relationships, not because I want their partner, but simply because I want that for myself. I want someone to be like that with me, and feel that way about me, and I do find myself sometimes questioning what's wrong with me.

Was on a couple of dating sites recently, with very little success, so I have given up on them for the time being.

That said, the main thing I do miss is the affection and the sex, but I have never been the one night stand type.

I also will not be in the least bit depressed today, I had two cards, one from my sponsored dog, and the other was from Marchant, am off to the cinema with another single friend, and will not be sad today for a second. :)

Blighter

14-02-2010, 10:27

I was in a relationship for just over 2 years (quite long considering I am 19!) and I can say I'm so much happier without a partner.. For the time being anyway.

It means I can focus on other important things, such as work, without having the commitment elsewhere. If I had a partner this new job would be so much harder whatbwith moving away etc.
My new boss told me I'm not allowed to date anyone as my productivity would go too far downhill ;D

plus, I'm looking forward to pancake day to give a damn about valentines :P

Tiggy

14-02-2010, 10:52

Can I join in? I'm kinda single, kinda not, confusing I know!

Am I happy with my situation? Nope. I'd rather be classed as in a relationship or single. But the thing is I'm really hoping things are going to work out so for the time being I have to stay in limbo.

I know that if I was single, I'd have those moments of 'I need a hug' but I'd want to leave it a while before considering the prospect of anyone else. So I'd be going with the option of being content with being single for the forseeable future.

I can't remember the last time I got a valentines day card. It'd be nice to have someone make the effort and buy and sign a card and maybe make me a cup of tea lol.

I'll be spending the day with my Mum and my children and having a lovely lunch. Perhaps do some baking with the children. There are much worse things that I can think of, all in all I'm going to be having a lovely day, great food and great company!

Blighter

14-02-2010, 11:02

I can't remember the last time I got a valentines day card. It'd be nice to have someone make the effort and buy and sign a card and maybe make me a cup of tea lol.

I got one from Geri Halliwell when I was 7 ;D

Desmo

14-02-2010, 11:03

Kitten

14-02-2010, 11:33

I got one from Geri Halliwell when I was 7 ;D

Wow, Ginger Spice made you a cuppa? Awesome!

_dogma_

14-02-2010, 12:08

I'm in a relationship but I don't have to be in one to be happy. I'm self-sufficient and don't really need anybody. I love Iain but I don't need him, I want him :)

Pebs

14-02-2010, 12:42

I'm so loooooonely *howls*

it's actually a complete lie :) The only thing I
miss sometimes is companionship, someone to gab on to when I get in from work. And nooky. Other than that I'm a happy camper!

G|mp

14-02-2010, 12:47

I would prefer to be single tbh, I've done nothing but make cups of tea and now I've got rustle up a breakfast :(

To be fair though she's awesome as a GF, she insists that nothing is spent on Valentines day as it's all a con anyway and she would rather we have made eachother cards, she even laughed at the Tesco Value one a few years back :D

Oh **** yeah, I gotta make a card, d'oh.

Kitten

14-02-2010, 13:20

I'm happy. I was happy enough single and I'm very happy now as part of a couple. I'm an only child so am used to my own company, and need to be with someone who can give me that now and again and who can let me just go and spend a few days away with my Mum or with friends without giving me hassle about it. On the other hand, I'm a ball of contradictions and if I need company, I need it, lots of it, and I know I can be really annoying when I'm bouncy and really bring other people down when I'm feeling depressed. I suspect I'm not easy at all to live with.

I do enjoy being in a relationship, however unless it's 100%, I'm outta there. I don't settle, so I will usually be happy when I'm with someone as if I don't think it's working, I don't waste my time. I've seen people I care about throw years and years away because they are scared to be single. Better to be single than settle for less, I say. I'm a bit harsh I know, but you only get one life and I wasted enough of my younger years on arseholes and people who didn't deserve me.

I get flowers on an almost weekly basis - in fact the only time I insist I don't get them is around now - when they're ridiculously expensive. So tomorrow we might go out and buy a nice bunch of roses, when the price has dropped again. :) So far I've had a card & breakfast, but then I'm a very lucky girl and get looked after like a Princess anyway ;)

I think Dogma had it right on the nose. I don't want to be with someone because they need me or I need them. I want to be with them because we want to be together. In the words of Alanis, I'm not half of anyone else (although I may refer to him as the OH :p), I'm a whole person in my own right, I can manage on my own and I expect the same of my partner. I believe that 1 and 1 makes 2 - and that's the way it should be!

Blackstar

14-02-2010, 13:29

Not bothered about being single its fun, you can do what you want pretty much. Was out last night and was getting a lot more attention than I've had for years. Apparently stopping caring and just enjoying yourself is the key...who knew?!
Plus this morning I'm in no mood for people so being single is a good thing.

Belmit

14-02-2010, 13:40

I'm happy to be single, and to have been for most of my life. Like Desmo it's never really bothered me. If something happens then great but I'm not all that fussed. Valentine's Day isn't something I've ever felt the need to be part of and I don't feel any worse today than any other day!

Haly

14-02-2010, 14:07

Quite happy being single which is fortunate as I have been for a few years now.

Certainly not going out of my way to meet someone. I figure if it happens, it happens. Life's complicated as it is at the moment though ;D

All that matters imo is to be happy with your situation regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not.

Never been fussed in the slightest about Valentine's Day, it's just another day as far as I'm concerned.

Jingo

14-02-2010, 16:26

When I was single some time ago I used to just not find Valentine's Day of any relevance to me; probably comparable to how St.Davids Day or the start of Rammadan can pass by with my being aware, but it having no relevance.

Since being in a relationship with PG I enjoy Valentines day as it happens to fall on our 'half year anniversary' (yes I know after 3 years they probably shouldn't exist but pah! Any excuse for a mini-celebration! :D)

We are quite excitable people, and although we enjoy every day we spend together, it's another opportunity to stand back and reflect upon the time we have spent together etc. Neither of us go in for the oversized, heart-wielding teddies or overpriced february gifts but we exchange some gifts of thoughtful sentiments and usually try to execute a little bit of an extra pampering throughout the day :)

I think I speak for both of us when I say we don't feel we have to do anything for VD, but we enjoy doing it and as mentioned above, it's just another excuse for some fun and celebration! :D

A Place of Light

14-02-2010, 17:34

I think I speak for both of us when I say we don't feel we have to do anything for VD

Some abbreviations just aren't meant to be. ;)

semi-pro waster

14-02-2010, 17:36

I guess I'm fairly happy being single at the moment, I certainly wouldn't mind being in a relationship but I don't feel the need to try and get into a relationship just to not be single.

Jingo

14-02-2010, 18:38

Some abbreviations just aren't meant to be. ;)

Venerial Disease Joke by chance? ;D Seen too many of these across facebook already today :p

Lynnie_pitch nee Leigh

14-02-2010, 18:48

I love Davey, I wouldn't have married him if I didn't :) I was happy being single but I do enjoy having him around ;)

As for Valentine's day, it's a load of bollocks!! I don't need one day a year to show Davey how much I love him. It's just a normal Sunday for us :D

Dee

14-02-2010, 19:15

As for Valentine's day, it's a load of bollocks!! I don't need one day a year to show Davey how much I love him. It's just a normal Sunday for us :D

This :)

Although, me and Daz did go and see a potential wedding venue, then went for a carvery. T'was a very, very different Sunday than what we are used to :D

IainB

14-02-2010, 19:49

Hmm....hapy to be single? Yes and No!
Yes....I can do my own thing, when I want and for how long I want, my mess is my mess...yadda yadda yadda.
No....I miss the cuddles :'( and the other stuff ;)
As for Valentines day, I think going forward it will be a normal day, as you should treat someone like that every day - not just on special occasions.
(yes....splitting from the wife has changed me, its made me a better person..if a little too late!)

Kitten

14-02-2010, 20:06

Valentine's Day is most fun when you're single, and you get to send/receive all those cards. Has an air of mystery & fun to it! That's who it was aimed at originally anyway.

(yes....splitting from the wife has changed me, its made me a better person..if a little too late!)

Nah, is not usually too late. Take the new 'better' you and get out there. No time like the present ;)

Justsomebloke

14-02-2010, 20:23

Can't remember the last time I was without Pasty. :confused:

Ninja.

Dymetrie

14-02-2010, 20:54

I'm happy with single cream, but double cream is so much better!

P.s: breakfast of pancakes with strawberries, cream and champagne rocked!

What was the question?

Kitten

14-02-2010, 21:22

I don't like champagne or strawberries and I can take or leave cream. Glad you liked it though :D

I got scrambled eggs, mushrooms, beans and bacon. NOM!

Mark

14-02-2010, 21:47

I do like champagne and strawberries, but not for breakfast, so the eggs, bacon etc. would have suited me fine. Only me to make it though.

Kitten

14-02-2010, 22:16

I've been single for nearly 15 years now and I've never been happier. It's hard to explain without sounding selfish and self-centred but I like having the freedom to do pretty much what I want, when I want and not have to consider how it affects a partner. Having a flatmate does mean that certain behaviour is restricted in the interests of common decency but, for the most part, I can do whatever I want without having to explain myself. Most importantly, I can be the person I want to be rather than be the person I should be to keep someone else happy.

Sometimes, I just feel like getting up and going for a walk or have a drink or got to my play room and do stuff or just be alone without explanation. No matter how understanding your partner is, they don't always understand when you want to do things like this and feel vexed or hurt if you feel the need to do stuff without them.

See this is the kind of thing that I think is important in a relationship. Being 'the person I should be to keep someone else happy' would kill me, and I'd HATE to think someone else was doing that. With a relationship, you accept the person warts and all, you shouldn't try to mould them into something that fits within your expectations. Within your post you haven't really said anything that we as a couple can't or don't do and I do wonder if it's more down to the people that you've chosen as significant others in the past and the way those relationships have made you feel, rather than actually choosing to be single because you want to be.

I know that is going to sound patronizing but it's really not meant to be.

If you met someone, and could still do all the things you mention, wouldn't that be just perfect?

I think far too many people (and I'm not aiming this at you Stan, just in general) stay in relationships that aren't right, or that they aren't happy in, and then they end up judging all future & potential relationships according to that experience - when it just doesn't have to be like that.

Joe 90

14-02-2010, 22:28

I'm a big fan of the simplicity surrounding single life.

Today, as with almost each term-time Sunday was a day for football. We beat Manchester 60-0 and for the first time I played out the whole game. And then I went for a few beers with the boys afterwards. Well all the boys bar those with girlfriends, who obviously had other duties to tend to. Now I think the only thing that could of made today better would have been to have picked up some Ben & Jerrys with my Chinese!

Tiggy

14-02-2010, 22:33

What was I saying earlier? Oh yeah, my mantra from now on, 'I'm content being single'.

Bloody valentines day he chooses to dump me!

I'm about to go and drown my sorrows with a single female friend.

G|mp

14-02-2010, 22:48

Del Lardo

14-02-2010, 22:54

What was I saying earlier? Oh yeah, my mantra from now on, 'I'm content being single'.

Bloody valentines day he chooses to dump me!

I'm about to go and drown my sorrows with a single female friend.

Classy guy, you're certainly better off without him.

I was always quite happy being single, I could do what I wanted when I wanted and commit to my career without the guilt of someone waiting for me at home, I never had much of a problem getting strange what I wanted it and had a couple of **** buddies I saw 1-2 times a month so back pressure buildup was never really a problem. I freely admit that I am a pretty selfish person and hate having to fit in other peoples wishes and schedules into mine, something not helped by what can be best described as a 'hectic' work schedule.

Since I've been with Mrs DL I have seriously thought about breaking up a few times because I really missed the single life but I always come back to the same conclusion, without her and left to my own devices I will be dead by the time I am 35. Sounds dramatic I know but she controls the worst of my excesses while being very understanding about my work travel and needing time to myself in the evenings :lubu:

Having just re-read that I sound like a bit of a cock, I can assure you that Mrs DL thinks I am a fantastic boyfriend for reasons that are beyond me but probably helped a lot by my parents bringing me up to treat women properly.

Basically I prefer being single but know that my life will be better with someone to share it with.

A Place of Light

14-02-2010, 23:10

Princess Griff

14-02-2010, 23:15

What a cock!!!! So sorry Tigs, you deserve someone better than him if he can dump you on blimmin Valentines Day!!!

Dr. Z

14-02-2010, 23:18

I'm happy single but I know that things would be better with someone to share things with.

My problem is that I am so changeable. I roll through various different phases, some days there is no way that I want to interact with humanity, leave the house or speak to anyone regardless. Other days I am wanting to do random road trips to cool places. Sometimes I want to go out and drink/party, other times I cant bear getting out of bed.

Thats generally hard for people to deal with....

Tiggy

14-02-2010, 23:38

What a cock!!!!

I think I've said that myself a few times tonight ;D

What was I saying about a cup of tea earlier? And now I have to go and fetch my own cider! ;D

Davey_Pitch

15-02-2010, 01:50

See this is the kind of thing that I think is important in a relationship. Being 'the person I should be to keep someone else happy' would kill me, and I'd HATE to think someone else was doing that. With a relationship, you accept the person warts and all, you shouldn't try to mould them into something that fits within your expectations.

I think this is key for me. I know the things I love doing in life (gaming, mostly) and I could never be with someone who didn't understand that and wanted me to change and give up games when I was with her. That's something that simply won't happen, so I'm lucky to be with someone like Lynnie who is fine with it.

As for Valentine's Day itself, just like Lynnie I think it's a load of bollocks. I've never seen the need for a special day to tell someone I love them.

petemc

15-02-2010, 02:17

I'll be the first of the couples :D

Funny one for me. Think I've mentioned this before, but Sinead is my one and only girlfriend. I was single up until the age of 29. It was one of those things that just never bothered me, even through my teens and early twenties. And if I had not met Sinead, I'm sure I'd still be happily single today if that was the way my life had gone.

Of course things are very different now. I can't imagine my life without her being around. Even if she goes out of an evening the house just feels a bit empty and quiet and even though I can keep myself entertained, I miss her and it just doesn't seem right that she isn't there.

This. A year ago I'd agree with Stan. Being single was good in ways. I could concentrate on my photography. But at the end of the day its basically all I had. I didn't really have anyone that I could just talk to about anything on my mind, now I do.

I actually hate going to work now because I sit in my apartment for 8hrs or so hoping that everything wasn't just a dream.

As for Valentine's Day itself, just like Lynnie I think it's a load of bollocks. I've never seen the need for a special day to tell someone I love them.

I agree. I've been saying this to Sam as its our first Valentines Day together and I wanted to be clear that I'm not going to be the kind of guy who just does these things once a year. I just think of the day as an excuse to be that little bit extra cutsey. Like New Years. NY is essentially pointless but its an excuse to party. On Friday I gave Sam my last rolo. We went out for a meal yesterday and I gave her some Batman earrings in a Little Miss Giggles tin filled with hearts and today we went for a ride on the new wheel in town with a meal too. I didn't want it to be just one day.

But back on topic, I was content with being single. I had convinced myself that its just who I was. I convinced myself that to be a great photographer I couldn't afford to have such distractions or that I wasn't meant to find love. I was meant for other things. But having found it well it makes me feel so stupid to have thought those things.

Jingo

15-02-2010, 12:59

I'm glad about that Pete :) It also shows you have found someone special to have changed your views :)

Creature

15-02-2010, 16:34

With a relationship, you accept the person warts and all, you shouldn't try to mould them into something that fits within your expectations.And that is why i'm currently happy being single. Sure I loved my previous relationship, but she was a bit controling and trying to change me. Admitidly for the better but that's not who I am, and so it could have never really worked.

I'm much better single at the moment as my life is hopefully going to be going through some big changes over the next two years, so I may well be moving around a hell of a lot, and a relationship would just hold that back.

Roberta

15-02-2010, 17:19

I'm happy in my own skin these days, so being single or in a relationship isn't a big thing. Am very happy with Paul but I'd be perfectly happy single also. Have so much going on in my life right now!

I have to say though, being in a relationship doesn't cause me to alter my behaviour. I decide if I'm doing something/going somewhere and he comes along if he wants to and if he doesn't he goes to see friends. I'm pretty independant and have a rather busy life.

Had a nice lie in and watched loads of Rescue Me on Valentines Day. Same as any lazy weekend really!