View Full Version : Movie Title Fun
Sparked off by a thread on reddit, I'm curious to see what we can come up with here.
What movie title, if a single letter was mistyped, would have a whole new different context?
Some of mine:
The Matrox
A documentary covering the creation of a Canadian company specialising in graphics hardware and video capture. Very boring.
The Modfather
Sever Samurai
The Silence of the Limbs
Apocalypse Naw
A comedy set in souther USA about his attempts to dodge the draft.
Taxi Drivel
An apt description of most conversations I've had with Taxi drivers..
Raging Dull
1001: A Space Odyssey
Tome Alone
When a library is closed for the last time, one book is left all alone on the shelves.
And one of the funniest from the thread:
Pilates of the Caribbean
Star Wart
Only one I can think of atm!
Pilates of the caribbean awesome!!!! ;D
Stan_Lite
12-05-2011, 06:59
Monty Python films:
The meaning of Lime.
Life of Briar.
Monty Python and the Holy Grain.
Others:
The Naked Bun.
Dip Hard.
Raging Ball.
Raiders of the Lost Arm.
Singin' in the Wain.
The Hound of Music.
Forrest Pump.
The Green Tile.
The Seventh meal.
Bummer Holiday.
Monty Python and the Holy Grain.
Ahh.. King Arthur in pursuit of the perfect Whisky.;D
Logan's Bun, Dirty Marry and Forrest Pump are just another few in the 'adult' versions of the films surely? ;)
Aren't you supposed to suggest the actual premise of the 'new' film too? We can all write lists, much funnier with a synopsis too :) apart from the 'adult' ones of course as they have no plot :p
Debbie Goes Dallas
A film about a lovely girl who just goes to Dallas, obviously.
Foodfellas
Henry Hill is a small time chef, who takes part in a cooking competition with Jimmy Conway and Tommy De Vito, two other chefs who have set their sights a bit higher. His two partners kill off everyone else involved in the cooking competition and slowly start to climb up through the hierarchy of the chef league of excellence. Henry, however, is badly affected by his partners success, but will he stoop low enough to bring about the downfall of Jimmy and Tommy?
Jews
Martin Brody is the new police chief of Amity, an island resort town somewhere in New England. He has a wife named Ellen, and two sons named Michael and Sean. On a Summer morning, Brody is called to the beach, where the mangled body of Summer vacationer Chrissie Watkins has washed ashore. The medical examiner tells Brody that it could have been a Jew that killed Watkins. Mayor Larry Vaughn, who is desperate to not lose the money that will be brought in by 4th of July tourists, wants Brody to say Watkins's death was caused by a Nazi instead of a Jew because the thought of a Jew in Amity would drive tourists away. It looks like Vaughn is a mayor who puts money ahead of people's lives. Jew expert Matt Hooper believes Watkins was killed by a Jew. Hooper is proven right a few days later, when Alex Kintner is killed by the Jew that killed Watkins...
;D Sorry, I've just spent the last few minutes laughing at my own post ;D
The Beer Hunter
It's just Christopher Walken chugging six packs... But in each case one of the cans has been shaken up...
The Golf Rush
The rules of golf change so that everyone tees off at the same time and the winner is the first person to get their ball in the hole. With violent consequences.
Briggykins
12-05-2011, 12:00
Schindler's Lift - Documentary about the world's second-biggest elevator manufacturer
Spend - Action film where a guy has to spend $50 per hour or his wallet blows up
Von Smallhausen
12-05-2011, 12:12
The Deer Munter.
Robert dear Niro stars in this woodland tale where he befriends a local buck who is ugly and can't find a mate.
Von Smallhausen
12-05-2011, 12:14
Blackhawk Clown.
Gripping action where an elite team if circus clowns are sent into the lawless streets of Mogadishu to rescue a captured comrade.
Von Smallhausen
12-05-2011, 12:18
Octofussy.
Dull James Bond film with no action due to him citing health and safety reasons for refusing his mission.
Blackhawk Clown.
Cheat.....that's two letters :p
Octofussy.
Dull James Bond film with no action due to him citing health and safety reasons for refusing his mission.
ahahahahaah
Schindler's Lift - Documentary about the world's second-biggest elevator manufacturer
aahahahahahahaha
*5 stars*
Von Smallhausen
12-05-2011, 12:34
It's a capital D backwards ....... Pedant. :D
The Italian Jog
A band of british crooks attempt to steal 4m in gold bullion in the middle of the Turin marathon.
Pumpkinstew
12-05-2011, 13:16
The Grunge
In a remake of the classic oriental horror Sarah Michelle Gellar is stalked by malicious spirits which cause her hair to go lank and greasy, rip holes in all of her jeans and play Pearl Jam on the stereo.
Apocolypse Wow
North Korea suceeds in introducing a virus into a patch for the popular MMO World of Warcraft emptying the inventories of players everywhere during Blizz con. In the grip of a violent nerdrage cosplaying level seventy dwarf paladins riot in the Las Vegas conference venue causing millions of dollars of improvements and causing the National Guard to be deployed.
By helicopter.
Backed by the Ride of the Valkyries.
Pumpkinstew
12-05-2011, 13:25
Big Pish
Tim Burton directs Ewen McGregor in a movie about a drunken scot who has a two hour pish. Better than Sweeny Todd.
Von Smallhausen
12-05-2011, 13:54
High Plains Grifter.
Gritty western adventure where mysterious stranger Clint Eastwood arrives on his classic Raleigh bike to serve justice to a lawless town.
Ahahaha! I dun a bit of wee.
Requiem for a Cream
Women covered in jizz. They consume mind, body and soul. Once you're hooked, you're hooked. Four lives. Four addicts. Four failures. Despite their aspirations of greatness, they succumb to their addictions. Watching the addicts spiral out of control, we bear witness to the dirtiest, ugliest portions of bukkake. It is shocking and eye-opening but demands to be seen by both addicts and non-addicts alike.
Bridge on the Raver Kwai
The film deals with the situation of British prisoners of war during World War II who are ordered to build a bridge on Kwai, the local pill-popping raver. Their instinct is to sabotage the bridge but, under the leadership of Colonel Nicholson, they are persuaded that the bridge should be constructed as a symbol of British techno, rave and speed taken in random fields around the country. At first, the prisoners admire Nicholson when he bravely endures torture rather than compromise his principles for the benefit of the local pigs who clamp down on raving. He is an honourable but arrogant man, who is slowly revealed to be a deluded obsessive. He convinces himself that the bridge is a monument to British drugs, but actually is a monument to himself, and his insistence on its construction becomes a subtle form of collaboration with the enemy. Unknown to him, the Allies have sent a mission into the jungle, led by Warden and an American, Shears, to blow up the bridge and set Kwai the raver free to dance his ****ing tits off!
Scatface
Remake of the 1932 film, which follows the rise of Tony Montana, a Cuban ****face who, with his friend Manny Ray, builds a strong odour in early 1980's Miami.
Von Smallhausen
12-05-2011, 15:17
Flash of The Titans.
Mythical adventure with Perseus, son of Zeus, who terrorises the ladies by exposing himself in this ancient Greek tale of semi-deity cock out action.
Von Smallhausen
12-05-2011, 15:23
Miami Lice.
Remake of the hit 1980s series. Join Crockett and Tubbs as they trawl the seedy Miami underworld catching more than just pimps as they pay a visit to the clap clinic for a severe case of itchy rubik's cubes.
Kill Dill
The chef wakes up after a long coma. The herb that she carried before entering the coma is gone. The only thing on her mind is to have revenge on the culinary team that betrayed her - a kitchen she was once part of.
Schindler's Fist
In Poland during World War II, Oskar Schindler gradually becomes more accepting to his bondage mistress' forceful demands.
Se8en
Three detectives, a rookie and a veteran, hunt a numerically-challenged serial killer.
Von Smallhausen
12-05-2011, 15:35
Romancing the Scone.
Michael Douglas has some explaining to do when caught shagging a fruit scone by Catherine Zeta Jones.
Some of these are awesome!
Pemento
A man, suffering from short-term memory loss, uses chili peppers to hunt for the man he thinks stuffed his olive.
Pumpkinstew
12-05-2011, 17:08
The Faptastic Four
Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway wear skintight costumes. Maybe they have superpowers or something, it doesn't really matter.
Pumpkinstew
12-05-2011, 17:10
Dr Poolittle
He doesn't talk to the animals but he is overworked, overtired and chronically constipated.
Once Upon A Time In The Vest
A long, drawn out 5-hour saga of a day in the life of an unemployed man.
Creature
12-05-2011, 17:48
Top Nun
I don't think I need to say anymore than Nuns in Jets.
Muriel's Weeding
Abba-obsessed Aussie girl has dreams of running a landscape gardening business with the man of her dreams. She trawls B&Q having polaroid snaps taken of her posing with various gardening implements which she puts into a huge 'gardening scrapbook' while scouring lonely hearts' ads.
Bridget Jones' Dairy
'Girl about town' Bridget has a 30-something crisis and ditches her City life and job in publishing to work for Cravendale. Hopeful that cream always rises to the top, Bridget dreams of one day, owning her very own dairy farm and finds herself in a saucy love-triangle with the dashing Sales Representative and the rugged farmhand.
The Depanted
Boston PD send in an undercover agent to crack down on a bunch of criminals going round pulling people's trousers down.
Pup Fiction
Those snooker playing dogs from the painting relax after a hard day, with a selection of novels from the local library.
Reservoir Bogs
Stuck at the side of the motorway in a broken down bus, 20 miles away from the nearest services, a group of pensioners have to climb down the banks of the hard shoulder to relieve themselves at the side of a large water supply.
The Green Milk
Horror. Whomsoever drinks the green milk in the fridge shalt surely perish. No-one drinks it.
The Deer Munter.
Robert dear Niro stars in this woodland tale where he befriends a local buck who is ugly and can't find a mate.
Don't forget the cheery, upbeat sequel, 'Mingin' In The Rain'.
Iron Mon.
Jamaican Arms manufacturer Tony Stark builds a robotic exoskeleton.
Iron Mon.
Jamaican Arms manufacturer Tony Stark builds a robotic exoskeleton.
;D
Trash
Dark thriller from David Cronenberg about couples who like to sit outside their houses on friday mornings watching the dustbinmen and getting thoroughly overexcited. Not available on bank holidays.
Knipples
13-05-2011, 12:19
Harry Putter
A series of films about a boy trying to save the world using his golf clubs.
Jews
They fight back and kick Hitlers butt (set at sea on a boat, or on a beach)
Dainty dancing
A very respectable film about posh dancing, where a woman has an irrational fear about where walls meet. Nobody puts Babs in the corner.
Knipples
13-05-2011, 12:33
Stir wars
An intergalactic battle using spoons and a chef called Dirth Voider.
(haven't thought this one through, but there could be a sequel "attack of the clunge")
Bin
A kid goes to the funfair and makes a wish on a coin-operated machine. He wakes up in the morning to find he is a ****ING BIN.
Bark to the Future
Retelling of a familiar story from the dog's point of view. He takes a one minute trip into the future as part of Doc Brown's crazy experiment in a parking lot then chews on his butt for the next 80 minutes.
butt (set at sea on a boat, or on a beach)
Dainty dancing
Hmmmmmm. *strokes chin* :p
I considered Deity Dancing, I might still go for it - it does only change one letter but also squiddles one sideways.
Bin
A kid goes to the funfair and makes a wish on a coin-operated machine. He wakes up in the morning to find he is a ****ING BIN.
<3 Belmit.
Shart Circuit
Johnny Five is alive! And instantly gets irritable bowel syndrome.
Thom
A boring tale of the lead singer of Radiohead, and his hammer.
Fight at the Museum
Ben Stiller gets a job as a night guard at the museum, none of the old guys like him so it all kicks off.
Leading to...
Hit Fuzz
a 2 hour documentary on policemen getting assaulted by geriatric security guards. And Ben Stiller.
Slade, Slade 2 and Slade-Trinity
Noddy Holder, the Day Walker, fights evil vampires in the West Midlands.
The Ely
Genetic teleportation mix-up causes Jeff Goldblum to change into a half human, half Cambridgeshire catheral city hybrid
The Ely 2
BrindleEly's son grows at a hyperaccelerated rate and then changes into St. Neots
Airplant!
"Surely you can't mean epiphytes?"
"I do, and don't call me Shirley!"
semi-pro waster
14-05-2011, 08:29
Goop Will Hunting
The story of troubled genius Pat Sharpe who decides that the only way to help people overcome their problems is make them complete a wacky obstacle course and then gunk them. Also featuring MATT DAMON and Robin Williams.
Crouching Tigger, Hidden Dragon
A deserved obscure martial arts epic where the whimsical world of A.A. Milne meets kung fu mastery, Tigger has to rescue the sword Green Destiny which was stolen from him in a series of breathtaking fights with the catchphrase "Tiggers are wonderful things. Their heads are made of rubber, their tails are made of springs" oft repeated.
Goop Will Hunting
The story of troubled genius Pat Sharpe who decides that the only way to help people overcome their problems is make them complete a wacky obstacle course and then gunk them. Also featuring MATT DAMON and Robin Williams.
Crouching Tigger, Hidden Dragon
A deserved obscure martial arts epic where the whimsical world of A.A. Milne meets kung fu mastery, Tigger has to rescue the sword Green Destiny which was stolen from him in a series of breathtaking fights with the catchphrase "Tiggers are wonderful things. Their heads are made of rubber, their tails are made of springs" oft repeated.
Hahaha ^^
Maaaaaaaaaat Ddddaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyymonnnnnnnn
Loving the Sly too.
Von Smallhausen
16-05-2011, 22:41
White Men Can't Hump.
Woody Harrelson stars in this tale of sexual dysfunction where he can't please his woman due to being hung like a gnat and could stick it up an ants arse and not touch the sides.
Lion
Lion is a professional killer. A small girl comes to his door one day to escape the corrupt cops who murdered her family. He, quite obviously, tears her throat out and leaves her carcass for the hyenas and vultures.
**** Soup
Groucho Marx is absolutely enraged at the limited options on the starter menu at the only place open in town.
Randhi
It isn't always about non-violent resistance.
Knipples
17-05-2011, 20:52
Winter for Elephants
A bunch of elephants trying to survive a harsh winter.
The gurnies
A group of hospital trollies on a mission to find some hidden treasure
BT
A satelite dish crashes on earth, befriends a young girl and sets off on an adventure.
Winter for Elephants
A bunch of elephants trying to survive a harsh winter.
The gurnies
A group of hospital trollies on a mission to find some hidden treasure
BT
A satelite dish crashes on earth, befriends a young girl and sets off on an adventure.
Nearly all of yours change MORE than one letter, cheaty-pants. And that includes the other posts (Dainty Dancing) :p
Knipples
17-05-2011, 22:18
Look woman, im trying my best here! :( :p
Frank: High Voltage
Jason Statham is Frank Spencer, the beret wearing buffoon. Frank gets electrocuted with hilarious consequences including a high speed roller skate chase. Oooh Betty!
Look woman, im trying my best here! :( :p
As you were ;)
The Longest Bay
Made-for-TV film by the production team behind Coast. Stars Robert Mitchum as a man chewing a cigar as he attempts to create a beachhead in the hope of capturing Spalding.
The Rattle of Britain
Charts the attempts of the select few to work out where that strange rattling noise comes from when Britain goes over a speed bump.
Miami Mice
Stylish film from Micheal Mann. Features Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx as 2 exterminators attempting to rid Miami of small rodents.
(bum already done, I was checking for bold titles...)
Rocky and Pullwinkle
Sylvestor Stallone reprises his famous role, with a perpetually masturbating chimp as a sidekick. Boxing gloves are the only things that stop him constantly cracking one out and with the rage it puts him into when wearing them it soon becomes clear that he could be the next champ.
*applauds Goose & Belmit*
Brilliant. Particularly 'The Rattle of Britain'. Reminds me of Top Gear ;D
Dis Boot
Tense drama. A group of reggae sailors try to find the owner of a shoe. Acclaimed across the world, it was followed by an unsuccessful sequel called "Dat Slipper". Contains subtitles.
Edit: I sound so very white.
The Full Ponty
Some miners from Pontypridd lose their jobs when the pit closes and decide to dance in the nip. There's lovely, isn't it.
semi-pro waster
18-05-2011, 18:31
James & The Giant Perch - a masterful reimagining by Roald Dahl of the biblical tale of Jonah and the whale for a younger audience featuring a small ginger child named James and the eponymous and improbably sized perch of the title.
The Dirty Doyen - Sid James as an (even) older man on a daring mission into occupied France to assassinate a group of high ranking German officers gathered at a French chateau. The last sound they'll ever hear is a "hyak, hyak, hyak" before being garotted with Babs Windsor's bikini top that he's been saving for just such an occasion.
Yoga Bear
People travel from all around the world to Yellowstone Park to meet this holier-than-the-average-bear and gain the benefits of his spiritual insight, all for the price of a picnic.
Tran: Legacy
A drama set around the life of a post-op transsexual, and the impact the change has on family and friends.
Due Dame
A road-trip comedy as a desperate film journalist tries to get cross-country in time for the biggest interview of his life, one that will irrevocably launch his career; an interview with Dame Judy Dench.
Knipples
18-05-2011, 22:06
Fetal attraction.
Adventures of a baby who keeps falling in love with everyone.
(hopes this one meets madams approval ;) )
Briggykins
18-05-2011, 22:09
Fetal attraction.
Adventures of a baby who keeps falling in love with everyone.
(hopes this one meets madams approval ;) )
Met mine :) Definitely chuckle-worthy.
Ferris Bueller’s Gay Off
A modern coming of age tale in which Ferris (Matthew Broderick) tests and pushes the limits of socially acceptable homosexual behaviour within 24 hour;. constantly out-doing the efforts of his head teacher, (who can manage to sport a super moustache, all credit to him) to become the most raging homosexual.
Gone with the Wand
American classic in which a manipulative woman and a roguish man carry on a turbulent love affair in the American south during the noughties craze of JK Rowling’s making.
Stat wars
A long time ago in a data collection office far far away, two rivalling dark and light factions continue an epic battle, both manipulating the figures to their own ends. Things are looking bleak for the rebel alliance as the empire tightens its grip on the galaxy. New hope comes in the form of a young boy, naturally gifted in the art of standard deviations and binomial expansion, only to learn a worrying fact; that he is the love child of a rational and irrational number. May the figures be with you.
Ferris Bueller's Gay Off is my favourite so far, and beats the tenuous one I was trying to come with around The Gay After Tomorrow.
It seems I can only come up with porn versions of films now so I may have to bow out... or just post them and offend you all.
Ferris Bueller’s Gay Off
End.
Of.
Thread.
;D
Stan_Lite
19-05-2011, 08:07
Descriptions of the films I posted earlier in the thread.
Monty Python films:
The meaning of Lime.
The Python team in the first of their series of three hilarious films in the style of Open university educational programmes. In the first offering, they discuss diverse properties of and uses for Calcium Oxide. Who would have known lime was painted onto the scrota of bulls to enrage them during bullfighting events.
Life of Briar.
The second educational offering from Python. This time, they offer a fascinating insight into the life and uses of thorny plants. The man eating rose scene is classic python.
Monty Python and the Holy Grain.
The third and final informative offering from the inimitable Python team. The team explain, with comic genius, how various grains have changed history. In it, they explain how the use of maize in explosive devices almost won the second world war for the Germans.
Others:
The Naked Bun.
Leslie Nielsen stars in this hilarious tale of a hapless baker who investigates the mysterious disappearance of a prize winning Chelsea bun.
Dip Hard.
New York detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) tracks down a cell of chewing tobacco (dip) crazed terrorists.
Raging Ball.
Robert De Niro stars as a troubled volleyball player struggling to come to terms with how the vicious sport is destroying his life.
Raiders of the Lost Arm.
It is a little known fact that Herod did not just remove the head of John the baptist, he also had his left arm removed - the arm has never been recovered. Archaeologist Indiana Jones embarks on an action packed search for the legendary holy relic.
Singin' in the Wain.
Gene Kelly stars in this uninspired musical which takes place entirely on the back of a horse drawn cart. Despite Kelly's best efforts, the dance scenes are understandably restricted.
The Hound of Music.
Little known sequel to Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World in which the giant dog embarks on a career as a concert pianist with hilarious consequences.
Forrest Pump.
Tear-jerking story of a young boy ostracised because of an unfortunate affliction which manifests itself as foul-smelling flatulence. All ends happily as he farts his way to fame and fortune.
The Seventh meal.
Fascinating sequel to the Ingmar Bergman classic. In this sequel, a crusading knight challenges Death to an eating contest. If he succeeds, his life will be spared.
Bummer Holiday.
Adult remake of the Cliff Richard classic in which Cliff and Melvyn Hayes sodomise Una Stubbs in a double decker bus.
semi-pro waster
19-05-2011, 15:31
The Radness of King George - stars Keanu Reeves as the titular character "Dude, I'm like a King and stuff, that's so bodacious". You'll chill, you'll laugh, you'll wonder why someone with the acting abilities and emotional range of a block of pine keeps getting roles in Hollywood.
Hairy Potter - one of the Hairy Bikers (I'm never sure which one, Mork or Mindy?) discovers a talent for throwing clay. "You're a potter, Hairy" as the tagline almost certainly doesn't say.
There have been a few more that run though my head and then I realise that any synopsis is basically going to be exactly the same as the actual film e.g. Twit Town about a couple of silly brothers who get into all sorts of escapades or Bounders about a couple of friends who rig card games like the cads they are...
Ferris Bueller's Gay Off is a work of genius though. :)
E, Robot
Will Smith as a Yorkshire technophobe Del Spooner investigating the possible breach of Asimov's 3 laws by a robot implicated in the death of a human. At t'mill.
Sporticus
I'm ashamed for having mentioned it...
Sporticus
I'm ashamed for having mentioned it...
And so you should, you don't even have kids.
Bulletproof Gonk
After several decades, scientists finally create a practically indestructable version of the small fluffy toy. No-one can remember why.
Flibster
20-05-2011, 01:16
This is an evil, EVIL thread... :D
The Perminator
Tagline: The thing that won't die, in the nightmare that won't end. *actually straight frm The Terminator ;)*
Forrest Dump
This is the story of a man. A man who while travelling through the middle of nowhere regrets the egg and bean curry he had for lunch.
The Ladyfillers
A documentary about the formation of Ann Summers
Mystery Yen
Tale of a traveller who when coming back from a holiday finds he has more local currency now than when he started.
The Ditty Dozen.
Musical about 3 barbershop quartets.
DIY Hard.
A man with no hand-eye co-ordination buys his new kitchen from Ikea
Hove Actually
A tourist movie about a rather crap place on the south coast.
The Karate Yid
An old master teaches a defenseless youngling the ancient ways of Oy vey!
Dos Boot
The story of one man and his autoexec.bat and config.sys
Goonfellas
3 men, 1 rubber boot and a pocket full of Ray Ellington
Lulu
Historical drama about a small Welsh singer who leads a fight against a numerically superior enemy. Famous for the line: Sentries have come in from the hill, Sir. They report the English to the southeast. Thousands of them boyo.
Lulu
Historical drama about a small Welsh singer who leads a fight against a numerically superior enemy. Famous for the line: Sentries have come in from the hill, Sir. They report the English to the southeast. Thousands of them boyo.
Isn't Lulu Scottish? ;D Keep 'em coming guys these get me through my day!
The Hound of Music.
Little known sequel to Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World in which the giant dog embarks on a career as a concert pianist with hilarious consequences.
Bummer Holiday.
Adult remake of the Cliff Richard classic in which Cliff and Melvyn Hayes sodomise Una Stubbs in a double decker bus.
;D
Ronan the Barbarian
Boyzone are gutted when Ronan leaves to pursue a new solo career.
Flibster
20-05-2011, 09:25
Isn't Lulu Scottish? ;D Keep 'em coming guys these get me through my day!
Scottish... Welsh.... Same difference. :p
Stan_Lite
20-05-2011, 10:05
Scottish... Welsh.... Same difference. :p
:angry:
Flibster
20-05-2011, 10:40
:angry:
Both want their own language, both want to be independent, both want to keep getting our money, and both hate the English... As I said, same difference. :D
More *I have nothing better to do today...*
Robopop.
A documentary about the rise of electronic music in the 80's.
The Man Who Fell To Darth.
The sad tale of a old hobo who gets murdered by his former apprentice.
Band of Brothels
An alternate take on the events of June 6th 1944, and the effects it had on the local industries.
Dude
Keanu Reeves is Paul Atreides, leader of the resistance against the Harkonnen. Like, woah!
Chitty Chitty Gang Bang
...
There's Something about Gary.
D'you wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang, D'you wanna be in my gang?
Not right now Gary thanks...
This one may be taking it too far...
Maddy Day Care
Two professional doctors open up their own childminding service, then bugger off for a meal.
Knipples
20-05-2011, 10:56
Ronan the Barbarian
Boyzone are gutted when Ronan leaves to pursue a new solo career.
;D
Stan_Lite
20-05-2011, 11:15
Both want their own language - Only around 1% of the Scottish population speak Gaelic - hardly evidence of "wanting our own language".
Both want to be independent - less than 30% of Scots and less than 20% of Welsh people favour independence (41% of English apparently want Scottish independence).
Both want to keep getting our money - As long as we're part of the United Kingdom, it's all "our" money.
Both hate the English - The "English hating" thing is purely historical and we Scots, for the most part, are merely slightly embarrassed by our neighbours - in the same way one becomes embarrassed by a drunk and mouthy friend making a fool of himself ;)
As I said, completely different. :D
:p
Briggykins
20-05-2011, 17:45
This one may be taking it too far...
Maddy Day Care
Two professional doctors open up their own childminding service, then bugger off for a meal.
Laughed, then felt guilty. Then laughed again.
Knipples
20-05-2011, 17:53
Flush Gordon
Adventures of a man who lives down a toilet. He's trying to kill his mortal enemy Mong the merciless.
Maddy Day Care
Two professional doctors open up their own childminding service, then bugger off for a meal.
See that dot on the horizon behind you, that's the line you just crossed.
I'm right next to you on the Special Bus to Hell though! ;D
Army of Dankness
They're not undead or even particularly evil... but they do smell a bit musty.
Ice Aga
It's as much use as a chocolate teapot.
Finding Nero
Tech support insist the PC has DVD burning software but it's nowhere to be seen.
camerajuan
22-05-2011, 02:19
Austin Lowers
Set in the 60s, demand for the classic beige coloured Maestro runarounds start to dwindle.
Jurassic Pork
Palaeontologist Sam Neill discovers a Neolithic bacon sandwich & scours the world to find its origin.
Lord of the Rinks
Four short kids from Devon battle it out to be the best speed skater in all of south west England.
James and the Giant Beach
Wee Jimmy from Glasgow takes his first trip to Blackpool, with some catastrophic results.
Hairy Potter
A ceramics master stumbles upon a mysterious rock which makes his beard grow to unheard of lengths.
The Extendables
8 action heroes come together to get taller.
The Spining
A grizzled man suffering from schizophrenia uncovers his true talent as a seasonal chiropractor.
Last one for now.........
Star Wars Episode V : The Empire Strikes Bach
A bunch of Chinese warlords decide that classical music has no place in their new dynasty and begin a universal campaign to have it stricken from history.
I'll think of more one day.
8nm
Nicholas Cage investigates snuff movies on the sub-mcroscopic level
Ears
CG animation about everyones favourite appendages
City of Bod
A poorly animated cardboard boy surviving on the violent streets of Rio de Janeiro with Farmer Barleymow, PC Copper, Frank the postman and Aunt Flo.
The Green Bile
Paul Edgecomb vomits till there's nothing left. And then has another heave. A big black guy makes him better.
Dull Metal Jacket
Gunnery Sgt Hartman doesn't shout once and is really nice to his new recruits
Ben-Her
Transvestitism and Roman slaves, features a fabulous chariot race, where Ben-Her wows the crowd wearing a negligee and feathered slippers.
Moolander
PREPARE THE BOVINE CATAPULT
Flibster
22-05-2011, 17:11
Rita, Sue and Pob too.
Rita and Sue get pissed off by a moron who keep spitting all over their windows and writing his name in it.
Allen
In space, no one can hear her sing. Thank *** for that!
Vesperado
Antonio Banderas deals out justice in Mexico, mod style.
To Kill A Mockingbard
Period drama about the death of a comedic minstrel.
Mystic Rover
Existential film about the ruminations on Life and Religion by an automated Mars exploratory vehicle.
Ricky
Set in the east end of London, a particularly annoyingly nasal Patsy Palmer screaming the title characters name as he decides to have a career change and become a boxer.
The Mouse on Haunted Hill
It's scary! Honest!
Ghostlusters
Crash-style fetishist movie but about people who can only get turned on by the ghosts of their dead loved ones.
Under Sieve
Steven Seagal shows us how to construct a makeshift shower when out in the wilderness.
Ghostlusters
Crash-style fetishist movie but about people who can only get turned on by the ghosts of their dead loved ones.
Sounds rather similar to Ghost.
Sounds rather similar to Ghost.
Don't diss Ghost if you want to keep that pretty face, boyo. :p
Don't diss Ghost if you want to keep that pretty face, boyo. :p
:angel:
Pumpkinstew
25-05-2011, 21:23
There's a film called Election on E4 at the moment....
semi-pro waster
25-05-2011, 21:50
There's a film called Election on E4 at the moment....
I think I see where you're going with this... :shocked:
Actually a surprisingly good film, I wasn't expecting it to be as funny as it is.
Pumpkinstew
26-05-2011, 17:24
I think I see where you're going with this... :shocked:
Flection A rather dry documentary about a group of scientists and engineers who keep an eye on the Golden Gate Bridge's structural integrity.
;)
or...
Electron
The teeny tiny superhero, with his catchphrase 'Negative!'
...or
Erection.
If you build it they will come.
Hang on, that works both ways! :D
Near Window
Has James Stewart as a man who didn't see a murder. He was near the window at the time, but was practicing his BBC-style wheelchair dancing.
Phone Tooth
Colin Farrell finds himself subject to the whims of a megalomaniac psychopath, who uses a specially implanted 'phone tooth' to pass on instructions silently, remotely, to his targets.
Actually that doesn't sound like too bad a film premise.
The Ply
Genetic teleportation mix-up causes Jeff Goldblum to change into a half human, half cheap toilet roll hybrid
The Ply 2
BrindlePly's son grows at a hyperaccelerated rate and then changes into a quilted more comfortable arse paper roll.
semi-pro waster
28-05-2011, 20:50
Orange Bounty - a fascinating documentary about the consumption of limited edition chocolate bar, Colin Hanks narrates as Jack Black eats.
The Rustler - Paul Newman is a pool shark, up against the best in Jackie Gleason's Minnesota Fats when it's down to the final shot of the game and some inconsiderate spectator opens a pack of wrapped boiled sweets. If you've watched Trainspotting you've got an idea of what happens next except here it's an assault so brutal that even Begbie would shrink from it.
Postage - Bruce Willis stars as he negotiates the release of his package as it is held by the local sorting office for insufficient stampage.
Lube - what you need to accomodate the mind**** that is a film with no discernable reason for existing and barely anything to describe as a beginning, middle or end.
Flibster
29-05-2011, 01:06
Bling John Malkovich
Trinny and Tranny take John Malkovich shopping at Argos for some lovely jewellery.
Dobbie Does Dallas
Dobbie the House Elf falls on hard times after being fired from his job at Hogwarts and ends up doing... well... anyone.
The Bodfather
A childrens cartoon about a man who is in charge of a powerful mafia family.
9 1/2 Geeks
A in story about the formation of Microsoft - most memorable scene is where Bill Gates has ice rubbed all over him while blindfolded.
Road Trap
Horror film where sexy hitchhikers lure drivers to their deaths. Starring Admiral Ackbar.
Smilla's Sense of Snot
"I see mildly sick people."
Bitch Black
Blaxploitation film about two pimps who continuously argue over the ethnicity of one of their 'ho's'.
I'm so sorry.
Edit:
Stagmata
Jesus is getting married! Time for a party he won't forget!
Someone may need to stop me.
Harry Potter and the Philosphers Scone
Harry and his friends embark on an adventure filled mission to find a rather important bread product. Quick, before Voldemort eats it! I hear he has jam!
Dymetrie
30-05-2011, 13:10
Ten Things I Hate About Yop
Teen documentary based in an American high school around the time of the prom, detailing their hatred of yoghurt based drinks.
Von Smallhausen
01-06-2011, 02:32
A View To a Pill.
James Bond returns in this contraceptive drama where Miss Moneypenny has a near miss after being rammed over M's desk by 007.
volospian
01-06-2011, 08:42
Gold Minger
James pits his wits against Jordan, the gold digging slapper with a face like a haddock
The World is Hot Enough
James pits his wits against the evil George Monbiot and his Global Warming cronies who wish to ban Aston Martins
Dr, Yo!
James pits his wits against the evil Gansta Rapper Dr Dre as he tries to take over the world via a hardware implant in every HP laptop
You Only Give Twice
James pits his wits against Miss Moneypenny who, after going down twice in a row, demands a bit of reciprocation
volospian
01-06-2011, 08:54
The Fridges of Madison County
The photographer Robert Kincaid spends 4 days photographing various refrigeration devices in the 60's
Teen Rolf
A teenager discovers that every full moon he has a strange desire to play the wobble board and sing "tie me kangaroo down sport"
volospian
01-06-2011, 08:59
Homo Alone
When his family go away on vacation and leave him alone in the house, young Kevin McCallister stumbles upon his fathers gay pr0n library and discovers his true sexuality.
Uncle *uck
When bachelor and all round slob, Buck, babysits his brother's rebellious teenage daughter and her cute younger brother and sister, it turns into one hardcore orgy
The Most Boys
A tale of two Catholic priests and their secret bet.
The Hurt Locket
Jokes on you! This throat lozenge makes your symptoms so much worse.
B.A. Confidential
Mr T. in erotic thriller.
Mules of Engagement
Donkey porn.
Vanilla Ska
The story of the most mundane music ever written.
Wombstone
"Is it a boy or a girl?!"
"It's a rock."
oh god *cries laughing*
The hurt locket.
*squeaky voice*
BA Confidential
Ten things I hate about YOP!
Volo - I think that Dr Yo is very probably in production now ;D
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