Things I learnt from my patients

[Del Lardo]

Website is work safe but some of the stories may not be!!

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985


One of my favorites
Latex paint, despite being thick and creamy, does not coat your stomach and provide the same relief as pepto bismol.

[Haly]

That link is just a wealth of weird, fascinating and downright scary stories ;D And I've only got to the end of the first page!

[Haly]

BASED ON A CASE TODAY...
don't allow someone with a known poorly controlled seizure disorder to perform oral sex on you...
enough said...
OUCH!

[Tak]

Things I learn't from my patients

Spelling not being one of those things ;D

[Will]

*whistles...*

[Garp]

18 year old kids absolutely need new Audis-- especially the kind with the DVD player built into the dashboard so that they can watch "the fast and the furious" while driving along a windy road at say, 3am. the best thing to say (if you are an 18 year old driver of such a car) is "hey, watch my car handle this turn" as you careen into a tree. (unrestrained driver had not one but TWO spiral femur fractures in the same leg. his foot was pointed backwards). tree survived with minor scratches.

Some people....

[Flibster]

BASED ON A CASE TODAY...
don't allow someone with a known poorly controlled seizure disorder to perform oral sex on you...
enough said...
OUCH!

*WINCE*

That does remind me of something I was emailed at uni though. I would REALLY recommend that people do not go googling for it if they are slightly protective of their personal areas...

This is a little *ahem* snip *wince* of it...


EVIL: "Eat the foreskin."
GOOD: "Don't do it!! That's gross!!"
EVIL: "Eat the foreskin."
GOOD: "Stop thinking about it!!"
EVIL: "You know what you must do. Eat it. It is your destiny."
GOOD: "But that's cannibalism!"
EVIL: "So what?"
GOOD: "Cannibalism is shunned for a reason! It spreads diseases!"
EVIL: "Look dip***. It's your own ****ing flesh. Any diseases in there, you already got."
GOOD: "But it's SELF-cannibalism!"
EVIL: "So is chewing on the piece of skin you bit off your fingertip. BFD."
GOOD: "But this is weird, deranged and perverted!"
EVIL: "Exactly"
GOOD: (Hauls its sorry whupped ass away and shuts up)


I'll let you guess what he does next...

[Kell_ee001]

When your 97-year old mother trips and falls on the floor and doesn't say anything or really seem to move at all, you should definetly wait 5-6 days before calling EMS. If she starts to feel cold (even though she hasn't said that she's cold), just cover her with blankets and surround her with space heaters. She's probably just sleeping and will get up when she's good and ready. Nevermind the smell and the roaches.

:shocked:

[Haly]

If you are 17 and very drunk and are brought to the ER with a face that looks like hamburger and an upper lip that needs to be put back together, please just say you got into a fight. We would prefer not to know that someone bet you $20 that you couldn't punch yourself unconscious (and you won).
I love it :D