Feek
10-09-2007, 11:46
I'm going to start at the very beginning. It's a very good place to start. bear with me, this is a long post.
This morning dawns, the alarm goes off at the usual time of 05:45. I stagger out of bed, go downstairs and turn the coffee on and ensure the water thingie is doing what it's supposed to do. I go back upstairs, have a wee, clean my teeth and get in the shower, pondering the day ahead.
Freshly showered I go back downstairs, hit the button for coffee, get my wallet and cash out of the cupboard and put my tie in my briefcase. Head back up with coffee in hand and dump it in the shack. Turn on monitors.
Get dressed, back into shack and sit bleary eyed to drink coffee.
At around half past six ai give Mrs. Feek a kiss and leave the house. Briefcase behind my seat, I turn on the Origin B2, looking happily at the large speed readout it now displays after I tweaked the settings.
I drive to Colchester, listening to Ray Clarke on BBC Essex, traffic news is good - All seems well so I arrive at Allister's house at almost bang on 7 O'Clock. Allister and I often car share on the journey to work.
We depart his a minute or so later, radio is on Radio 1 but with TP selected so we get local traffic news. No problems. W00t. Monday mornings are usually good for the drive into work.
We realise things aren't going perhaps as well as they should be when it all starts slowing down just prior to the slip road at the top of the Kelvedon bypass. I suggest to Allister that we should branch off and go through the village but because we've heard nothing on the traffic reports he says that we'll go for it. We get a short distance past the slip and it all stops. Solid. No movement. From his side of the car he can see a red artic at the front of the stationary traffic no more than 100 yards ahead.
After a few short minutes we hear sirens and some Police cars and an Ambulance car force their way through. It's obvious at this point that nothing is getting past the artic and the road has been closed.
We sat there for ten minutes or so and an Ambulance came through as well.
We're now wondering what's happened but there's no indication. Then the Police start coming through the traffic telling people to turn around on the carriageway. Luckily a lot of vehicles had moved over to the edge of the road so there was plenty of space to turn and I think we were probably about the tenth car from our area to get turned around and start driving the wrong way up the A12 down the middle of the road. Cool!
I said to Allister that he ought to turn on his hazard lights and after a few moments frantically looking for the switch (he's only had the car a few weeks) we find it on the centre bit down by the handbrake. The lights start flashing and we're driving up to where the Police are filtering us off, back down the Kelvedon slip (remember, the one I said we should go down earlier!).
As we're sitting in the queue to turn off, Allister tries to turn off the hazards, but the switch is stuck. There's no way it's turning off so we decide to pull over to the edge of the road and look for the fuse to pull it.
We stop and spend ten minutes or so looking for it. I find the main fusebox in the glove box but although there are a lot of fuses there, there are none for either the hazards, indicators or in fact any of the lights. There's obviously another fuse box somewhere but we can't find it. Googling using his Blackberry fails to help.
Plod walk down to us. Obviously they don't really want us there, parked and facing the wrong way on the A12. We know the road isn't likely to open soon as he told us there had been an incident with a push cyclist and the artic, he couldn't confirm it was a fatacc but it must have been, with the road closed for so long there can be no other reason.
The nice friendly Plod suggests that we take the divert off and pull off the road as soon as we can to find a way to stop the hazards. There's a driveway just off the slip, we can pull into there.
So we get back into the car and Allister turns the key. Oh noes. The car doesn't start because the hazards have killed the battery *sigh*.
The Policeman walks back after hearing the engine not start and suggests we call a breakdown service, Allister does so and we're assured that they'll be let through the traffic.
Around ten minutes later the Police return, deciding that we'll push start the car to get it moved and make it easier for the recovery to get to us for the hazards.
So, Allister jumps in, puts it in second, takes off the handbrake and we push with all our might. After a few seconds he drops the clutch and goes off with a jerk.
At this point, time slows down.
I feel myself falling foward, my arms are windmilling and I'm doing all I can to stop it but the end result is absolutely inevitable. I hit the ground with a massive thump, my hands are out in front of me to stop the fall but my chin, mouth, lips and nose take an almighty impact on the road surface.
I'm there for a few seconds before being pulled up by Plod who check me over. There's a lot of blood from a huge graze on my chin and where the inside of my mouth has been ripped apart by my teeth. My whole jaw is aching and it hurts to talk.
But worse than that, the engine has stopped again :(
I'm checked over and repeatedly offered an ambulance but I'm getting movement back to my jaw and although it hurts a lot, it's bearable so I decline the offer. The Plod try and push start the car again but it won't start so it's simply pushed up to the slip and into the driveway that leads off of it.
Eventually we get recovered, the car is started and the cover removed from the switch so the hazards can be turned off. Rather than face the traffic we return to Colchester so I can get cleaned up. My shirt has a hole, my glasses are missing a nose pad and my hands are aching with burns from the road.
Allister sends me home.
I'm home and my face aches.
We spoke to the law a fair bit and it turns out that the accident was a fatacc, a cyclist somehow got entangled with the red artic we saw at the front of the queue so he came off a lot worse than I did. The road is expected to be closed until mid afternoon.
I commented that it probably looked quite funny as I went down "fat bloke falls over" and they said that there could see a few smiles in the cars that were alongside us. I'm not surprised, I can see the funny side of it. Allister admitted that he was almost wetting himself as he saw me disappear from view in his mirror and it was that which caused him to stall the car!
What fun Monday mornings can be.
This morning dawns, the alarm goes off at the usual time of 05:45. I stagger out of bed, go downstairs and turn the coffee on and ensure the water thingie is doing what it's supposed to do. I go back upstairs, have a wee, clean my teeth and get in the shower, pondering the day ahead.
Freshly showered I go back downstairs, hit the button for coffee, get my wallet and cash out of the cupboard and put my tie in my briefcase. Head back up with coffee in hand and dump it in the shack. Turn on monitors.
Get dressed, back into shack and sit bleary eyed to drink coffee.
At around half past six ai give Mrs. Feek a kiss and leave the house. Briefcase behind my seat, I turn on the Origin B2, looking happily at the large speed readout it now displays after I tweaked the settings.
I drive to Colchester, listening to Ray Clarke on BBC Essex, traffic news is good - All seems well so I arrive at Allister's house at almost bang on 7 O'Clock. Allister and I often car share on the journey to work.
We depart his a minute or so later, radio is on Radio 1 but with TP selected so we get local traffic news. No problems. W00t. Monday mornings are usually good for the drive into work.
We realise things aren't going perhaps as well as they should be when it all starts slowing down just prior to the slip road at the top of the Kelvedon bypass. I suggest to Allister that we should branch off and go through the village but because we've heard nothing on the traffic reports he says that we'll go for it. We get a short distance past the slip and it all stops. Solid. No movement. From his side of the car he can see a red artic at the front of the stationary traffic no more than 100 yards ahead.
After a few short minutes we hear sirens and some Police cars and an Ambulance car force their way through. It's obvious at this point that nothing is getting past the artic and the road has been closed.
We sat there for ten minutes or so and an Ambulance came through as well.
We're now wondering what's happened but there's no indication. Then the Police start coming through the traffic telling people to turn around on the carriageway. Luckily a lot of vehicles had moved over to the edge of the road so there was plenty of space to turn and I think we were probably about the tenth car from our area to get turned around and start driving the wrong way up the A12 down the middle of the road. Cool!
I said to Allister that he ought to turn on his hazard lights and after a few moments frantically looking for the switch (he's only had the car a few weeks) we find it on the centre bit down by the handbrake. The lights start flashing and we're driving up to where the Police are filtering us off, back down the Kelvedon slip (remember, the one I said we should go down earlier!).
As we're sitting in the queue to turn off, Allister tries to turn off the hazards, but the switch is stuck. There's no way it's turning off so we decide to pull over to the edge of the road and look for the fuse to pull it.
We stop and spend ten minutes or so looking for it. I find the main fusebox in the glove box but although there are a lot of fuses there, there are none for either the hazards, indicators or in fact any of the lights. There's obviously another fuse box somewhere but we can't find it. Googling using his Blackberry fails to help.
Plod walk down to us. Obviously they don't really want us there, parked and facing the wrong way on the A12. We know the road isn't likely to open soon as he told us there had been an incident with a push cyclist and the artic, he couldn't confirm it was a fatacc but it must have been, with the road closed for so long there can be no other reason.
The nice friendly Plod suggests that we take the divert off and pull off the road as soon as we can to find a way to stop the hazards. There's a driveway just off the slip, we can pull into there.
So we get back into the car and Allister turns the key. Oh noes. The car doesn't start because the hazards have killed the battery *sigh*.
The Policeman walks back after hearing the engine not start and suggests we call a breakdown service, Allister does so and we're assured that they'll be let through the traffic.
Around ten minutes later the Police return, deciding that we'll push start the car to get it moved and make it easier for the recovery to get to us for the hazards.
So, Allister jumps in, puts it in second, takes off the handbrake and we push with all our might. After a few seconds he drops the clutch and goes off with a jerk.
At this point, time slows down.
I feel myself falling foward, my arms are windmilling and I'm doing all I can to stop it but the end result is absolutely inevitable. I hit the ground with a massive thump, my hands are out in front of me to stop the fall but my chin, mouth, lips and nose take an almighty impact on the road surface.
I'm there for a few seconds before being pulled up by Plod who check me over. There's a lot of blood from a huge graze on my chin and where the inside of my mouth has been ripped apart by my teeth. My whole jaw is aching and it hurts to talk.
But worse than that, the engine has stopped again :(
I'm checked over and repeatedly offered an ambulance but I'm getting movement back to my jaw and although it hurts a lot, it's bearable so I decline the offer. The Plod try and push start the car again but it won't start so it's simply pushed up to the slip and into the driveway that leads off of it.
Eventually we get recovered, the car is started and the cover removed from the switch so the hazards can be turned off. Rather than face the traffic we return to Colchester so I can get cleaned up. My shirt has a hole, my glasses are missing a nose pad and my hands are aching with burns from the road.
Allister sends me home.
I'm home and my face aches.
We spoke to the law a fair bit and it turns out that the accident was a fatacc, a cyclist somehow got entangled with the red artic we saw at the front of the queue so he came off a lot worse than I did. The road is expected to be closed until mid afternoon.
I commented that it probably looked quite funny as I went down "fat bloke falls over" and they said that there could see a few smiles in the cars that were alongside us. I'm not surprised, I can see the funny side of it. Allister admitted that he was almost wetting himself as he saw me disappear from view in his mirror and it was that which caused him to stall the car!
What fun Monday mornings can be.