View Full Version : Random
Dymetrie
05-10-2007, 14:57
So there I was stood on the corner of Argyle Square happily having a smoke (not allowed to smoke on the estate any more but the residents are, go figure...) when some random guy with a wierd accent came up to me and offered to sell me some Marlborough Lights.
Now I'm not one to pass up reasonably priced smokes (they certainly aren't reasonably priced in the shops any more), but this guy was far too random and had too wierd an accent for me to even contemplate purchasing his wares. He then continued to wander around the square and didn't approach anyone else, even though other people were smoking.
How random.
You got to be careful - some of these guys have guns! ;)
Dymetrie
05-10-2007, 23:00
You got to be careful - some of these guys have guns! ;)
Yeah.
Me ;)
Dymetrie
10-10-2007, 17:01
So this afternoon, whilst stood in the same place smoking my final cigarette of the day I was approached by another random person.
This one would've contested Piggy in a "Who's shortest" competition and was wearing a scruffy old Liverpool football shirt (although from his odd accent I'd say he wasn't from Liverpool).
"Got a spare smoke?" says he.
**STOP**
Now, I'm not a miserely git, but I refuse to hand out cigarettes to all and sundry. Because, firstly, working where I do then you give one tramp a smoke and the rest want one. Secondly, I'm a miserely git ;)
Besides, I tend to leave my cigarette pack in the office...
**CARRYON**
"'Fraid not." reply I politely.
"I'll give you this for a smoke." retorts the street urchin pulling a cash card out of his pocket and proffering it in my direction.
"I'm afraid I really don't have any." I counter.
"Have it anyway." He growls before hurling the card at me viciously (incidentally the card merely ricocheted off my jumper causing me no harm whatsoever... I know you were concerned :p) before walking off.
How Random was that!!??
I believe that I should start smoking on the estate again, using the argument that it is hazzardous to my health to be on the street with all the damn weirdos there are in Kings Cross.... Reckon that'll work? :D
Did you pick the card up? Can I have it back please? :D
(Nice Mark'n'Lard usage, I miss their show)
Dymetrie
10-10-2007, 17:10
Did you pick the card up? Can I have it back please? :D
(Nice Mark'n'Lard usage, I miss their show)
No I wandered away for it and the angry Liverpool supporter returned and retreived it...
(thankee sai, I miss their show also)
You were wearing a jumper outside? It's barely Autumn :p
Dymetrie
10-10-2007, 19:18
You were wearing a jumper outside? It's barely Autumn :p
Too much AC in my office to keep the monitors cool = bloody freezing office :/
It's warmer outside (apart from when it's raining) :huh:
You were wearing a jumper outside? It's barely Autumn :p
I'm bloody freezing :( :o :(
Piggymon
10-10-2007, 19:33
Dude, you really do attract them ;D
BillytheImpaler
10-10-2007, 20:02
So I'm walking from work yesterday at a fairly brisk pace, enjoying the still-balmy weather. From behind me walks a tall burly-looking fellow. I live in a rather rough area, not so much that I'm apprehensive about walking around, but such that I'm cautious and as a result I didn't want much to do with this guy. He darts out in front of me and turns to face me, walking backward. He looks about to see if anybody's looking, they are not. Then he looks me in the eyes and opens his long coat. Keep in mind it was sunny and 30 C yesterday and nobody in their right mind would be wearing a coat.
I expected to see: His willy Drugs A gun perhapsstolen human internal organs
However, what I actually saw was a teapot. A medium-sized copper teapot attached to the inside of his coat. It wasn't even especially good-looking. It was just an ordinary teapot.
I stopped walking and asked him what was up. He responded, "Nothing, MAAAAAAAAAN!" and bolted across the street, nearly getting hit by a car in the process. It was certainly the most random thing that's happened to me in a long while.
Dymetrie
11-10-2007, 15:02
A nice Police Officer just visited the office to look at some CCTV footage..
Sgt Smith, first name Kevin.
I kept a straight face, just ;D;D;D
SidewinderINC
11-10-2007, 15:53
I would have had to quote a few lines, or call him silent bob.
Dymetrie
16-10-2007, 12:35
Earlier today a couple of Police Officers dropped by my office. As it turned out they were after information about the estate rather than CCTV. So I supplied them with a contact number for who they should talk to and they happily wandered off to 'follow the line of enquiry'.
About an hour later I noticed a wallet on my desk and thought "wuh?"
It was one of their warrant cards.
Yes, I sniggered :D
Had a quick look at the cards in the wallet, found the number for his station and gave them a call so they could tell him where his warrant card was.
About five minutes ago a sheepish looking Police Officer returned to my office to collect his warrant card ;D;D;D
BillytheImpaler
16-10-2007, 12:48
Kitten_caboodle, where's the excellent story? ;)
Earlier today a couple of Police Officers dropped by my office. As it turned out they were after information about the estate rather than CCTV. So I supplied them with a contact number for who they should talk to and they happily wandered off to 'follow the line of enquiry'.
About an hour later I noticed a wallet on my desk and thought "wuh?"
It was one of their warrant cards.
Yes, I sniggered :D
Had a quick look at the cards in the wallet, found the number for his station and gave them a call so they could tell him where his warrant card was.
About five minutes ago a sheepish looking Police Officer returned to my office to collect his warrant card ;D;D;D
Lucky him! If they lose it properly, every station (and officer I guess) in the country is informed for obvious reasons.:o
Dymetrie
17-10-2007, 14:19
*ring ring* *ring ring*
"Good afternoon, Housing Patrol."
"Hello, there's some trouble in ***** street, some people with guns."
"I'd advise that you contact the Police."
"Well I'm advising you because you're the people that look into anti-social behaviour."
"The Housing Patrol Service operates between 6pm and 2am, there are currently no staff in the office. In any case I'd advise you that this is a Police matter and not something we'd deal with."
"I'll call back at 6."
*click* *brrrr*
*sigh*
Von Smallhausen
17-10-2007, 18:47
You've been wardened
:) ;)
Dymetrie
08-11-2007, 14:52
Once again enjoying an afternoon smoke, stood on the street at Argyle Square, I was approached by a young Canadian Girl who asked me where Madame Tussaud's was.
I advised her of it's location and she asked if she could walk it or whether she should get a cab. I replied that it'd take her a while to walk but that it was possible.
I should've printed this (http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=d&hl=en&geocode=1114765495409054023,51.522912,-0.155032&time=&date=&ttype=&saddr=argyle+square&daddr=Marylebone+Road,+London,+NW1+5LR+(Madame+Tus sauds)&sll=51.52578,-0.140076&sspn=0.023443,0.058966&ie=UTF8&ll=51.526154,-0.139046&spn=0.023443,0.058966&z=14&om=1) off for her really.
Still, pretty random to be giving directions to Madame Tussaud's from a back street in Kings Cross :p
Blackstar
08-11-2007, 15:11
Billy, that is quite possibly one of the funniest things I've ever heard! A teapot! hahahhaaa
testpattern
09-11-2007, 12:02
*ring ring* *ring ring*
"Good afternoon, Housing Patrol."
"Hello, there's some trouble in ***** street, some people with guns."
"I'd advise that you contact the Police."
"Well I'm advising you because you're the people that look into anti-social behaviour."
"The Housing Patrol Service operates between 6pm and 2am, there are currently no staff in the office. In any case I'd advise you that this is a Police matter and not something we'd deal with."
"I'll call back at 6."
*click* *brrrr*
*sigh*
bahahahahaha
;D;D;D;D;D
Dymetrie
05-02-2008, 20:49
Time for some threadcromancy :D
Not overly random considering where I work...
So this morning as I was approaching my office and a scarlet woman asked me for a cigarette.... See here (http://www.boat-drinks.co.uk/showpost.php?p=156157&postcount=5) (or scroll up a bit) to guess my answer :p...
She then propositioned me as to whether I was looking for a good time (there was certainly a lopsided "I AM COKED OFF MY HEAD" grin accompanying it....). I did, of course, reply in the negative as whilst sex is good, sex with a coked up former miss UGH! for which one has to pay for the priviledge is way down there on my list of good ideas...
She asked if I was sure to which I replied that I was....
So into my office I went and spent the next half hour watching her deal drugs right outside my office, in front of the cameras (footage captured and forwarded to the Police) :D
For really random, the other day as I was putting away my washing I noticed that the label on my boxer shorts bears the legend "Keep Away From Fire"...
NO **** SHERLOCK!
dum de dum.....
For really random, the other day as I was putting away my washing I noticed that the label on my boxer shorts bears the legend "Keep Away From Fire"...
NO **** SHERLOCK!
dum de dum.....
None of my kecks bear this instruction, should I be worried?
Dymetrie
05-02-2008, 20:57
None of my kecks bear this instruction, should I be worried?
Only if Lom takes up smoking ;)
For some reason bedclothes sometimes bear that particular label too. In such circumstances, I don't think them being near fire would be my first concern. :)
Discovered something called "Radiator Slippers" while visiting PeeBee - they have lil bits you hang over the radiator to warm them up.
Giggled manically to myself at the "Warning: Remove from radiator before wearing" ;D ;D
I've noticed that in my pants the washing instructions in Chinese are 10 degrees cooler than the washing instructions in English :)
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