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View Full Version : I’m going for the record.

iicatsii
09-10-2007, 15:24
Everyone needs a goal in life, my goal is to be the world record holder for undeleted spam mail in my email account, so far today I have 219 emails for penis pills and ASDA vouchers.

After 30 I plan to resurrect that dead record adjudicator and his zombie pal Roy Castle and tally up how many emails I’ve received (any emails after 30 get automatically deleted.)

Here’s to being a record breaker.
Roberta
09-10-2007, 15:27
God you need a proper job.
Mark
09-10-2007, 15:27
My outlook says it currently has 3,294 spam emails, and that excludes the approximately 50% that get auto-deleted. You have a way to go yet. :)
iicatsii
09-10-2007, 15:27
God you need a proper job.

Real jobs keep me out of trouble, it's not going to happen.
iicatsii
09-10-2007, 15:30
My outlook says it currently has 3,294 spam emails, and that excludes the approximately 50% that get auto-deleted. You have a way to go yet. :)

I'll take that challange.
Kell_ee001
09-10-2007, 15:38
And I thought I had a lot of spare time! :shocked: :p
Fayshun
09-10-2007, 15:42
Judge Judy and collecting spam?

No hope.
iicatsii
09-10-2007, 15:45
Judge Judy is all woman.
Fayshun
09-10-2007, 15:49
Judge Judy is all woman.

I really don't want to or need to know that.
iicatsii
09-10-2007, 15:51
I really don't want to or need to know that.

Wrong answer. The correct answer is "pics plz".
Fayshun
09-10-2007, 16:06
Wrong answer. The correct answer is "pics plz".
:puke:
iicatsii
09-10-2007, 16:09
Seriously though, pictures of Judge Judy giving a “Cleveland Steamer” to Estelle Getty are just a photoshop away.
Garp
09-10-2007, 16:13
Everyone needs a goal in life, my goal is to be the world record holder for undeleted spam mail in my email account, so far today I have 219 emails for penis pills and ASDA vouchers.

After 30 I plan to resurrect that dead record adjudicator and his zombie pal Roy Castle and tally up how many emails I’ve received (any emails after 30 get automatically deleted.)

Here’s to being a record breaker.

I can sadly beat you in less than an hour :( One of the perks of being sysadmin is you get all the root e-mails, loads of bounces and undeliverable e-mail returns, 99% of which are spam. I delete the majority of them through various forms of filtering, but still I'm inundated daily (700+)
Mark
09-10-2007, 16:20
Oh yes, I forgot about those. I think blackholed them on my accounts (naughty, but I don't care) otherwise there would be several thousand more of those.

I won't even try to count the number of spam the servers I have access to get.
Daz
09-10-2007, 16:33
/signs iicatsii up to every porn site he knows.




/I mean *cough* has been told about by others
Roberta
09-10-2007, 16:33
/signs iicatsii up to every porn site he knows.





I think you'll find he's already on all of them.
Steeps
09-10-2007, 17:17
*goes to check outlook*

currently on 60,000 unread spam from the past few years, dunno what to do with it. might delete it one day
Garp
09-10-2007, 17:21
Going just by what I've automatically filtered out. Since 17:00 yesterday:

bash-2.05$ zgrep graydon main.log.[0,1].gz | grep -c discarded
9715

+

bash-2.05$ grep graydon main.log | grep -c discarded
60

of the "legitimate"

bash-2.05$ zgrep graydon main.log.[0,1].gz | grep -iv discarded | wc -l
696
bash-2.05$ grep graydon main.log | grep -iv discarded | wc -l
4

so, 700 "legitimate" e-mails in 24 hours plus 9775 easily filtered spam.
Roberta
09-10-2007, 17:27
This just perfectly proves my theory that men will be competitive over anything.
Zirax
09-10-2007, 17:35
This just perfectly proves my theory that men will be competitive over anything.

I reject that theory and my 1200 junk emails in the past two months agrees too!
Garp
09-10-2007, 17:37
This just perfectly proves my theory that men will be competitive over anything.

He started it with his talk about records :p

Just wanted to show he's got a long way to go yet.

Of those 700 "legitimate" maybe a dozen will be direct communications with me. Most of the rest will be monitoring, root e-mails, cron e-mails (from scheduled tasks) or general geeky multinational discussion between (usually) networks guys.

To be honest, I'd really rather I didn't get all of them, however just occasionally something can be spotted by their frequency / output that'll hint at a larger issue that needs fixed. I'd go loopy if I couldn't automatically filter out those 9k a day!

For the curious these simple rules are responsible for the deletion of 9k a day (probably no-one..):

# Crap to be ditched

if $h_X-BorderScout-Spam: matches "(96|97|98|99|100)\."
then
seen finish
endif

if $h_subject: contains "Delivery Status Notification"
or $h_subject: contains "Postfix SMTP server: errors from"
or $h_subject: contains "Returned mail: see transcript"
or $h_subject: contains "Returned mail: User unknown"
or $h_subject: contains "Warning: message"
or $h_subject: contains "Mail delivery failed: returning"
or $h_subject: contains "Postmaster notify"
or $h_subject: contains "Symantec Mail Security"
or $h_subject: contains "Mail virus incident report"
or $h_subject: contains "Virus received from"
or $h_subject: contains "RT Bounce: [Ticket"
or $h_subject: contains "failure notice"
or $h_subject: contains "DELIVERY FAILURE:"
or $h_subject: contains "Delivery Report (Failure)"
or $h_subject: contains "Undelivered Mail Returned To Sender"
or $h_subject: contains "McAfee Groupshield Alert"
or $h_subject: contains "Out of Office Autoreply"
or $h_subject: contains "Mail delivery error"
or $h_subject: contains "Failed email report"
or $h_subject: contains "Visit London Auto Response"
or $h_to: contains "ripe@netscalibur.co.uk"
and $h_to: does not contain "paul.graydon@uk.clara.net"
then
seen finish
endif


Just remembered seeing some RT bounces so that part isn't working straight!