Can you change yourself?

[Desmo]

I've recently let somebody down, fairly badly. I said I'd get something sorted and I've not done it. Every time I say I'll do it I have every intention to get it done...but then something crops up. I'm either busy at work, busy at home or just not in the mood to get it done.

But I want to change. It's not often I'll do this, but when I do it drags and drags.

Do you think it's possible to change yourself? I want to give myself some more get up and go. There are so many little things I want to do and get done and yet I never get around to doing them. Can I give myself the drive? Is there something I can do...even a little thing...to get me going?

[Goose]

Yeap, it is possible. I'm not going to go into details but I'd say only about 5% of me hasn't changed in the last 4 years.

In my experience though, there needs to be a big problem before you can change things. Little 'flaws' are too easy to live with.

[Mat]

Yes. I have changed various parts of my persona over the years without too much trouble.

[Admiral Huddy]

Yes you can but only when you realise that there is a good reason to.

I think I've changed over the last 4 years. In fact, the wife says I have but I needed to otherwise I faced loosing my family. The fact one day she said she was leaving (and other things) was a real kick in the teeth and it was a real eye opener. Despite years of her telling me what I was doing wrong, it was only when drastic action was taken that I actually listened.

On the other other hand, I'm terrible at keeping in contact with people and I make no excuses. I've tried changing but it doesn't work for me. So now I except this is the way I am and I'm not going to change. I guess that's why I like the meets so much. Having friends I meet up with occassionally, catching up without the pressure of having to stay in touch all the time suits me better.

In a nutshell, if you and those that are important to you are happy with the way you are and more importantly Accept the way you are, then don't change. If you need to change, then this will happen because you'll either want to or are forced to and you may not even know.

[Dee]

Absolutley! Dont ask me how, but it can be done ;)

I have changed myself for other people in the past, then those people let me down. From now on, I am my own person, and I love the person Ive become. I made a lifechanging decision last year, and its worked out for the best. Ive also discovered a love for photography much like Kitten, and have done something about it by going to college, (sorry Kitten, thats not a dig at you ;)) as I really think this is the career path I would like to take.

You only get one shot at life Jim, be the person you want to be :)

[Admiral Huddy]

be the person you want to be :)

Absolutley! :)

[Tak]

You only get one shot at life Jim, be the person you want to be :)

*waits for Piggy to spot this*

[Pumpkinstew]

I've recently let somebody down, fairly badly. I said I'd get something sorted and I've not done it. Every time I say I'll do it I have every intention to get it done...but then something crops up. I'm either busy at work, busy at home or just not in the mood to get it done.


I think this is just a part of modern life. I constantly feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to work, rest, play, socialise.

Letting people down always leaves you feeling lousy but sometimes it's unavoidable. It's too easy to keep saying yes and stretch yourself too thin.

[Pheebs]

Yup! Takes some doing but sure you can!

Set edible targets! Then munch your way through it!

I used to be unconfident, quiet (very quiet - as in wouldn't speak to anyone) and very nervous!

And now look at me. I'm stupidly talkative, not fussed what people think when the words fall out my mouth and have a fair bit of confidence (considering I'm setting up my own business!)

You've got to believe in yourself - that's all :)

It takes time but you can do it! *hugs*

And don't worry - we all cock up at some point - we're humans after all (until we turn into transformers.... ROoOOboOots Inn DIsGuuuiIIse *meerh merrh meerh merhh* *1337 robot moves*) Do what you can to put it right and move on! Make it your starting point to make some changes!

I need a wee now - I think I got over excited with the whole robot moves thing.

xx wubbles xx

[Admiral Huddy]

I need a wee now - I think I got over excited with the whole robot moves thing.

xx wubbles xx


Can I watch - I'm bored :evil:

[BBx]

Yeah I have to agree I have felt the same way Jamie. Especially with work, there are projects that I should have had done ages ago and haven't been done. Some aren't my fault and some lack motivation but recently I have made a breakthrough and sorted myself out. :) Sometimes I feel like I have to lock myself in a big room without a computer or phone hassling me to get it done.

E.g. I've had the last couple of months to write some Service Level Agreements for Marketing (my dept) I haven't done it for various reasons, this week and next week we are doing troubleshooting roadshows in our regional offices and I thought that these would be a good thing for them to have. So due to the tight deadline I just got it done. I feel bad that it has taken something like this to get my ass into gear. :( Anyway, its done now. Well its a starting point anyway and the bulk work has been done... I like to thing of the quote 'If things weren't done at the last minute, they wouldn't get done at all.' ;)

Luckily this has motivated me to get other things done aswell that I have been putting off... I think this was helped by my boss being on hols as I work better without someone breathing down my neck.

Generally I like to think I have changed for the better.... being happy in myself is a big step and also I think one of the main things is that I have chilled out a lot in the last couple of years (ask my bro ;))

Unfortunately some people can change for the worse, which is what I have seen recently, you just have to learn to ignore them I guess or accept that is who they are and get on with it.

BB x

[petemc]

I don't know if I've changed myself or whether life has changed me. I think, for me, it started by saying yes to things I used to say no to. From that experiences and events have given me confidence. I don't think you get confidence by sitting at home foruming, I've learnt that much :D Hell, I can take pictures of naked girls without glowing red. I know I've changed :D I know theres still plenty to work on though. At the same time I still see things in me that haven't changed since I was a kid.

[Haly]

I think you can. I know I've changed a lot in the past 3 years or so, and i'll hopefully change more as time goes by.
Does take a lot of motivation and mental strength though at times.

[lostkat]

Like others have said, it's definitely possible. People probably wouldn't recognise the "me" of 6-7 years ago. I was extremely overweight, shy and introvert. Have really come out of my shell and changed myself for the better (I think) in the past few years, with a little help from my friends. When I came back from Uni, my home mates saw a different person and it they took a while to get used to it. I still annoy myself sometimes and have confidence issues, but on the whole I'm a much MUCH happier person. Still need to finish off the job on the weight side but hey, noone's perfect :)

Really hope you manage to sort it out Desmo

[Justsomebloke]

Well :evil:

Sometimes i wonder just how different i am from the retribate i used to be. On bad days i feel no different & know i still have my dark side on good days i am indifferent.
Recently events have taken a bad turn family wise with some Serious troubles to be dealt with. The way i have reacted to these events shows me that i am a World away from that **** i used to be.
In some ways i am much more dangerous because i am more calculating about my actions, when i act it is Swiftly with no mercy & because there is no build up it is harder to tell that it was me that done it (whatever that may be)
On the other hand because my build up is slow it is more likely that i may take a more normal approach to given problem.
There is so much about me that is different sometimes i don't even recognise myself, having said that though you can Never get away from what you once was.
I confuse myself & am confused now just thinking about it.
I try to be normal but know inside i will Never be normal, just that fact is strange to deal with day in day out.
Fortunelty i have enough about myself to maintain the Bubble that is my life & not effect others in there own lives/lifes.
I live by a very strict set of rules & have a very high Morality but even when i was a Scumbag i still had high Morals. Weird a.
Have i changed ? Of course i have & for the Better :cool:

I'll finish by saying one last thing.
In this Fickle world of Bull****, Advertising & general BS hyped up crap the only True judgement of ones self is on ones actions.
Talk as always is very cheap but Actions in the face of advercity is what shows a mans true character.

This post makes no sence but I'll post the ***** anyway.

[Desmo]

I keep meaing to reply to this but couldn't be bothered ;)

^^^
See what I did there?


Seriously though, it's nice to see that other people are the same. It's not a major problem in my life, but it's a trait I'd rather not have. I want to be more of a do'er. I guess I just need to give myself a kick up the arse sometimes and remind myself of this thread :)

[Lopez]

I suffer from apathy - I'm very much an "in fits and starts" person - I start jobs, then abandon them halfway through, then suddenly remember them weeks later and finish them in a fury of activity.
I'd change that if I could change anything

The only exception is at work, where I KICK ASS 24/7. I love my job. I absolutely love Major Accounts and I'm so glad I went for it (thanks to MB for a prod in the arse about applying!) I am never ever in a bad mood at work, everyone is mystified at how I remain so positive when we're missing linehaul all over the place, depots cocking up stuff.... I don't know how I do it either, I just have this seemingly inexhaustable energy at work. It makes my life so much easier!