Your comments please.

[Admiral Huddy]

I have had time now to reflect back on quite a bad nmonth with Admiral computers and I have decided not to support the small business customers because I can't be available to support their needs.

However, I'm going to continue supporting domestic clients because I've made quite a bit from this and is more convienient. Most cleints want to be seen evening and weekends anyway and I've just had 2 block booking for Vista training too... which is great.

So I'm changing my website to make it more personal. I'm not going to change the layout but some of the wording needs to be a little more less corporate. I want people to know that Admiral Computers is run as a sole trader and not the corporate business it makes you believe.

A few people say they like the website because it's simpe and easy to read with being too busy. I've also compiled a few testomonials too.

Anyway, I seem to be having problems with the opening statement how does this sound:



Thank you for visiting Admiral Computers. My name is Paul Hudson and I am a qualified independent PC technician. I specialise in domestic PC repairs and PC services in Chelmsford and surrounding villages.

I am pleased to offer a wide range of surgery and onsite services including:

PC Repairs / Upgrades / PC Health Checks /


PC installations / Virus and Malicious Software removal /


Personal Training / Home Networking / Backups / and much more...


I pride myself on providing a flexible, personal and professional service. I understand that everyone has different abilities when it comes to computers and therefore operate a “Home friendly” policy so that all my customers are left feeling happy in the knowledge that they understand me and what I am doing.

My prices are extremely competitive without any compromise to the quality of the service provided and there is no call out charge to worry about.

My advice is free, so please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

[Dymetrie]

SPECIALISE

n00b :p

Looks good, although you speak about yourself all the way through then say 'contact us'...

Oh, and 'I am pleased...'

[Admiral Huddy]

Bloody spell checker at work :(

Good spots - cheers Dym :)

[Dymetrie]

No worries lad.

Mebbe check what language/region your system is using? I know that there was an entire batch of units in Camden which were set as English(US) so the spellcheck and loads of other stuff was all wrong :/

People believed it was right though :(

[Mark]

Covered most of the things I'd spotted.

Not sure about the way you've presented the list of onsite services. For a flyer that's probably OK but for a website it needs a bit of thinking time. Also it ends mid-thought with 'and much'.

[Admiral Huddy]

another spot - thanks.

Don't you think at the end of the day that's all the website is. An extensive advert?

[kaiowas]

My advice is free, so please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

I'd be really worried about putting that there. Surely you're just asking for all sorts of idiots to phone you up with stupid queries that will just waste your time/disrupt your evenings and not make you any money.

[Mark]

Me too. Offering free advice is one thing, advertising the fact, quite another.

[Admiral Huddy]

Although this is true, it gets clients in through the door. I had a woman ring me up asking for some advice. She ended up buying a pc which gave me a days consultancy and on going training.