View Full Version : Help! This is the only place I can post this
Knipples
13-04-2008, 09:41
Ok so bear with me first thread ive started and all that, but I would really appreciate peoples advice on a situation ive been dealing with for 6 months now.
I feel safe posting this here because on other forums there are other people I know who post and read my posts, and as far as im aware none of those people are on here.
Getting to my point now!
I was friends with a girl for a couple of years, went to football with her, hung out with her, got drunk with her etc, but she was a very controlling sort of person, wanting to know where I was and who with etc, which really annoyed me, and back in October I finally had enough of her, and told her that I didnt want to be her friend anymore.
Since then I have moved on, made other friends and no longer associate with her at all. She however has become a very bitter person and is bad mouthing me to anyone who will listen. Shes accused me of fraud (which I have proven I am not guilty of this) shes accused me of writing her husband a poison pen letter about affairs she has had (which I did not do) and is basically still bitching about me 6 months later. I keep wanting her to just stop and pack it in and pretend I never existed, but she doesnt seem to be able to do this. I have done my very best to ignore it, but nothing seems to make her stop, I have proof she was still bitching about me to other people last week.
Should I just keep ignoring her and hope she packs it in eventually? I dont really know what else to do. Sorry for ranting, but she visits other forums I go on, including ocuk and then uses things ive posted and twists them to suit what she wants to tell people. For example, she viewed the Feek birthday thread and then went about telling people I was showing my tits off to people (but if she had bothered to read the thread she would have seen the context, and the fact that mine werent the only lady bumps posted!)
Im at a loss as to what to do next really, and so have turned to you for help, sorry for such a long post!
leowyatt
13-04-2008, 09:46
The main thing to do I'd suggest is to ignore her. No doubt she tells the same people the same stuff over and over again and they will eventually get sick of her.
Does anyone close to you or anyone you consider a friend believe her? I doubt they do so don't worry. People can be very strange and very bitter as you said, you can't really fight fire with fire with them as they'll just twist it to say that it confirms your guilt. Your best bet if you can do it is to continue doing what you are doing. As people get to know you they'll see what she is saying is a bunch of lies.
Knipples
13-04-2008, 09:53
I think one of the friend we have in common is stirring a bit between us, I dont even mention this ex friend anymore unless he brings her up, and then I just pretend that im not interested and dont want to discuss her, but I hear the odd thing that she can only have heard from him. Stuff not even related to her and me I mean, just general things.
Again though I dont say anything to him because I dont want her to think I care if it gets back to her via him.
leowyatt
13-04-2008, 09:56
So is her stiring things between you two? Does he tell her stuff you tell him?
Knipples
13-04-2008, 10:01
So is her stiring things between you two? Does he tell her stuff you tell him?
Yeah but not stuff about mine and hers ex friendship.
Just random stuff I might have done like going out or whatever, its like she still wants to control me in a way by keeping tabs on what im doing.
I almost wish I had written her husband the letter (if it even exists) because at least then I would have something to complain about.
leowyatt
13-04-2008, 10:35
I agree with Lozza, just explain to him that you don't want to know anything about her. If he does bring anything up remind he what you said that you don't want anything to do with her. Also explain that you don't want her to know anything about your life and if he continues to tell her stuff you'll start to seriously look at your friendship with him (that should scare him into silence :))
Agreed with the above. Just ignore her and make it clear that you're not even interested in the lies she's been spreading about you. She's only doing it to wind you up and she'll get bored eventually.
Justsomebloke
13-04-2008, 11:33
What you have to remember is when people are like this they are like this & you are not the only person that knows it. Bitchy people don't effect peoples lives because everybody knows they are bitchy so ignores there commetns & takes them with a pinch of salt :)
On the other hand if you have a nice person & they say something bad then people listen.
Easy a :)
So don't worry, Everybody knows she is a bitch & nobody takes any bloody notice of her anyway ;D
Ignore her until she gets fed up & moves on to her next victim, The better at ignoring her you are the quicker that will be, As others have said As soon as somebody mentions her then just cut them off telling them that you don't want to be rude but you really are just not interested in anything to do with her/that person.
I would say the same as everyone else, just ignore her. If things did get worse there are harrassment laws in place now. Though if you ignore her for long enough I imagine she will get bored, or more often than not people will get bored of her.
Knipples
13-04-2008, 11:38
Thanks everyone I do appreciate all the advise, like I said though I wish she would just drop it, and ive been ignoring her and the comments I hear 2nd hand for 6 months now, yet shes still at it. I dont want revenge, I just want her to pack it in.
It bothers me that shes talking about me to people who've never met me, or dont know me, and then that these people are forming an opinion about me based on what shes said.
Sorry for whinging.
I agree with what others have said, ignore. She's obviously infatuated with you to be keeping this up after all that time and also must have nothing better to do. I'd also be telling the male friend straight that you don't want her mentioned again as it is in the past and that you've moved on.
I had an experience similar to yours and kittens with a so called friend. She copied everything I did, took the same courses and me and was furious if I ever did a qualification without her! It got to the point where I used to sneak about hiding what I was up to so she couldn't copy me which was just getting silly! In the end she managed to tell stories to the boss about me (at the job I got for her no less!) and put me in a position where I had to resign, although my boss was also to blame as he believed her the fool! Am now just happy I no longer have to handle all that nonsense!
Also, I have no doubt that people will be getting bored about her moaning about you by now and are probably avoiding her anyway! Just be all sweetness and let people work out who is telling the truth as it will be glaringly obvious!
The bit I don't get from reading what you've posted is your male friend. What's the motivation behind him discussing mental girl with you? Additionally, if she has been spreading unfounded rumours and lies about you, then as your friend surely this guy should be distancing himself from mental girl as well?
Unfortunately you're between a rock and a hard place. If you show any sign that what she is saying and doing is getting to you, which it clearly is otherwise you wouldn't be posting about it, then that will give her the drive to continue doing it. On the flip side, you've been ignoring her for 6 months you say and she is still hanging around like a bad smell, so maybe a more pro-active approach would help..
Someone mentioned harassment, has mental girl made any attempt to contact you directly by telephone, email or where you live?
Knipples
13-04-2008, 18:51
I dont get what hes getting out of it either, and Ive kind of distanced myself from him as he is clearly still associating with someone as poisonous as she is. Hes friends with her husband too which is the awkward point I guess. Ive not asked him because again I dont want it getting back to her, although I have said to him that to me she doesnt exist anymore.
As for your point about the harassment, sadly thats where shes being clever, shes doing it all via third parties, or I hear about it via others, shes said nothing to me directly. I do have proof shes been unfaithful to her husband, and if I wanted to be nasty then I could show him that, its not my style but its getting to the point where I want to piss her off as much as shes trying to piss me off and make me out to be the bad one.
We do have other mutual friends who have sided with me after seeing what shes like, so I guess I can take some heart from that, and I guess people who dont know me dont matter, but it still bugs me that shes doing it.
I wouldn't get involved in bringing her infidelities to her husband's attention. If she really is unhinged, you don't know what kind of response it might provoke.
A couple of years ago I cut someone out of my life completely. It was hard because we had mutual friends, there were social doings that I missed that I really wanted to be at, but I knew there'd be other opportunities to do stuff with people when she wasn't around. It actually took a great deal of commitment at first; ironically, when you think you're basically erasing them from your life therefore you won't think about them any more, I thought about her more than ever! But, over time it became normal and soon I got to a stage where I just never thought of her and people knew not to talk about her with me because I wasn't interested in anything they had to say.
Perhaps you can work on the same thing? Make it abundantly clear to your mutual friends that you just don't want to hear anything about her. If they really are worth their weight, they'll respect your wishes.
As for the male friend, I'd be inclined to give that some space for a while too. His behaviour seems a little odd to me..
Personally, Id smack the silly cow ;)
Again, ignore her. Or say to your mutual friends, she obv fancies you, thats why she cant stop going on about you :p
Personally, Id smack the silly cow ;)
Again, ignore her. Or say to your mutual friends, she obv fancies you, thats why she cant stop going on about you :p
Ha! I was tempted to advocate a cat fight myself, but I managed to restrain it.
If you're being forum stalked, have a talk to some admins.
I expect even OcUK would be kind enough to let you post under a dupe name so as to be able to 'hide' yourself.
Knipples
14-04-2008, 07:23
Ha! I was tempted to advocate a cat fight myself, but I managed to restrain it.
I cant punch to save me life, but if someone wants to help me....
divine` If you're being forum stalked, have a talk to some admins.
I expect even OcUK would be kind enough to let you post under a dupe name so as to be able to 'hide' yourself.
I think im ok here, nobody else knows ive registered here since Kelly introduced me, and I checked the list of members before I posted.
Thanks everyone for all the advice, I am going to pretend she no longer exists and if anyone mentions her, I will do the "God does she fancy me or something?" line. ;D
I will do the "God does she fancy me or something?" line. ;D
Sounds like a good idea :) That or reply with something about bunny boiler syndrome :p
I got mixed up with a bunny boiler at university and the first I heard of it was after about 6 months when she was spreading rumours about me. Next thing I knew her boyfriend was on my doorstep spoling for a fight over things I'd done to her, what I was saying etc. He turned out to be quite a rational bloke and when I took him through the situation he left questioning what the hell was going on.
Basically you've got to ignore these people and they eventually get bored and move on. You'll probably find she tries to look you up on the likes of Facebook, just block her out!
Justsomebloke
14-04-2008, 12:50
I think you should tell us who it is, This could be for one of many reasons All Bad :evil:
1. So that we could all laugh at the Forum stalking bunny boiler.
2. So we could all laugh at the forum stalking bunny boiler.
3. For warned is for armed & all that. Have had so many Interweb stalkers i am embarrassed to post the number :o My freaks start on MSN though, then after me blocking 10+ accounts they track me through a forum or a game :huh:
4. So that we could all laugh at the Forum stalking bunny boiler a bit more :p
5. Just to generally lighten the whole situation for you & take the sting out of this "Apparently" Mental woman.
My Attempt to make light of the whole situation.
Incidently my Stalkers stopped bothering me when it stopped bothering me, I spoke to a long time Interweb friend i have in Spain who i race with & we got to taking the piss out of these Freakazoids who have nothing better to do than stalk & flame a chap over the Interweb. After a full evening of ripping the crap out of the freakazoids i now see the whole thing differently.
Basically they are freakazoid loony tunes so have some fun :)
SO WHO IS SHE ???
Note the Serious font size used ;)
I would personally strike her off, I don't think you need her at all? With friends like these...
She sounds like a pathetic nonce. Who is she? I'll knock her sparko ;)
BB x
Knipples
14-04-2008, 17:24
I think I love you lot already, youve made me feel so much better about the whole thing. Ive tried desperately not to let her get me down, because thats what she wants, but it is hard sometimes, shes pathetic I know that, but I still take some of it personally unfortunately.
She doesnt post on ocuk, she doesnt have an account, I just know shes obviously seen things because of the comment about feeks birthday thread.
I think I will block her on my facebook as well, sadly I cant block her on all the forums I go on, as im a mod on a couple of them so I need to keep an eye on all the posts.
Anyone that wants to go all kung-fu on her then im more than happy to shove you in her direction ;D
Thankyou everyone, I am getting there!
I think I will block her on my facebook as well, sadly I cant block her on all the forums I go on, as im a mod on a couple of them so I need to keep an eye on all the posts.
If the admins suck you could always edit her posts so she gets banned and just hope no one looks at the mod log to see who edited what :p
Knipples
14-04-2008, 19:42
I'm just wondering that because this place is viewable, is there a chance that she might find this thread if she searches on your username? Just wondering. You don't want her knowing that she gets to you.
I havent told a single friend of mine that Kelly recommended this place to me, so they wouldnt know it existed I hope. Its part of the reason I use a different forum name on here and ocuk than I do on all the other forums I visit.
Dymetrie
14-04-2008, 19:49
i was wondering if she might search google... I'm not trying to worry you it's just the first thing that crossed my mind. I'm not sure how the spiders work with stuff like usernames etc.
My survey of google says that searching for 'knip' (uk only), is going to take a serious bunny boiler to find this forum and the contents and posts within.
Knipples
14-04-2008, 19:50
i was wondering if she might search google... I'm not trying to worry you it's just the first thing that crossed my mind. I'm not sure how the spiders work with stuff like usernames etc.
Guess I will find out in time, I just kind of felt safe posting all this here, but if she should "find" me, then she really is sick in the head.
Knipples
14-04-2008, 20:14
Yup, she'd probably enjoy the attention to be honest, but just incase
"You know who you are if you are reading this, you are a freak and a bitch and I hope you end up a very sad friendless lonely person if you treat people the way you have treated me!"
;D
Kell_ee001
14-04-2008, 20:27
;D ;D
Dymetrie
14-04-2008, 20:30
"You know who you are if you are reading this, you are a freak and a bitch and I hope you end up a very sad friendless lonely person if you treat people the way you have treated me!"
Sounds like my Mum...
She called Rita by any chance?
:p
Dym, want to help Faysh with his mail bags and gaffer tape? ;)
Knipples
14-04-2008, 20:41
She called Rita by any chance?
:p
Nope but your more than welcome to adopt her as a parent anyway!
Kell_ee001
14-04-2008, 20:51
Oh! We haven't had the bag and gaffa tape out for ages! :D
Knipples
14-04-2008, 20:52
Oh! We haven't had the bag and gaffa tape out for ages! :D
Can someone let the newbie in on the joke? :confused:
Can someone let the newbie in on the joke? :confused:
Faysh has a mail bag and gaffer tape "service".
No Job Too Small, No Questions Asked ;)
Dymetrie
14-04-2008, 20:57
Dym, want to help Faysh with his mail bags and gaffer tape? ;)
Copy that, I'll bring the tranq gun and the ferrets ;)
Knipples
14-04-2008, 20:57
Faysh has a mail bag and gaffer tape "service".
No Job Too Small, No Questions Asked ;)
Faysh, I dont know you but I think I like you very much!
:D
We could always give you a secret codeusername here that nobody else would know...I suggest Knipple :D
Faysh, I dont know you but I think I like you very much!
:D
Yay, one out of 200!
you might know him as 'fatiain' :D
But I'm not French!
Kell_ee001
15-04-2008, 12:22
I suggest Knipple :D
Cos she's obviously a bit of a tit? :D
I couldn't resist.... I'll leave now... :o
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