View Full Version : Where have peoples manners gone to ?
I know this is going to make me sound a right old git but what has happened to peoples manners in public nowadays. I was out driving and just turned into a road where I stopped to give way to 3 cars coming through and not one acknowledged with a quick wave or flash of the lights. Now that's no big deal and certainly nothing to get your panties in a bunch about. It wasn't always like that though. Then in Tesco, people bump into you without either a sorry or whatever. It's like peoples public manners have gone out of the window. You feel as though your in the minority if you hold a door open for people nowadays. We can't always blame the kids and say they are bad mannered if we are not showing them a good example.
What an absolute stark contrast to when I have been to America and people are just well, better mannered.
Jesus I sound old :p
To be honest, Americans take it too far the other way. 'Have a nice day!'. Pish - you're just saying that because your boss told you to. You're really having an utterly ****e day. This means that when people really do mean it, it goes unnoticed.
Over here, a good dollop of it is just society today. Shame, but that's the truth. Pile on imminent recession, job losses all over the place, credit woes, etc., and all too often those who would normally care, cease. Hopefully it'll improve when all this madness is done with, but that's looking like a few years down the road now. :(
I have developed a really bad habit of shouting 'YOU'RE WELCOME!!' if someone walks through a door I'm holding for them without acknowledging me. ;D
Me too then I get ya sarky B****** in return ;D
SidewinderINC
28-09-2008, 18:45
To be honest, Americans take it too far the other way. 'Have a nice day!'. Pish - you're just saying that because your boss told you to. You're really having an utterly ****e day. This means that when people really do mean it, it goes unnoticed.
Over here, a good dollop of it is just society today. Shame, but that's the truth. Pile on imminent recession, job losses all over the place, credit woes, etc., and all too often those who would normally care, cease. Hopefully it'll improve when all this madness is done with, but that's looking like a few years down the road now. :(
I agree that quite a lot of the OTT niceness is definitely phoned it's but common courtesy to say sorry when you bump into somebody, or thanks when somebody does something to help you.
What are their reactions Kitten? :D
A guy bumped into me in Tescos yesterday, he was walking backwards down the aisle to move out of someones way and really hit me hard as I was trying to sidestep him. He was *so* apologetic, and couldnt say sorry enough, nice when that happens :)
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 18:50
I never flash my lights, not for reasons of manners though.
I've always thought the influx of foreigners have done little to aid manners, combined with the perpetuation of chavs. Foreign people, particularly those who come from poor economic climates, tend to have learned manners that are far more confrontational than your average middle-class and even working class people.
However, go into the countryside and there are no lack of manners.
I find women round here are the most impatient and ungrateful drivers. I've simply stopped letting them out, since my courtesy is lost on them. I find women's movements in supermarkets and cars completely irrational, inconsiderate and un thought out so I expect the two are linked.
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 18:53
I find women round here are the most impatient and ungrateful drivers. I've simply stopped letting them out, since my courtesy is lost on them. I find women's movements in supermarkets and cars completely irrational, inconsiderate and un thought out so I expect the two are linked.
I wonder whether it is humour or sexist ignorance that sponsored this post.
I don't tend to tailor my manners to anyone else, and I think expecting strangers to automatically meet some kind of social behaviour is needy, although only slightly.
Knipples
28-09-2008, 18:55
I get people staring at Marchant because he looks different, with children I dont mind it because theyre just naturally curious, however I find it very rude when adults do it because they should know better, some actually almost snap their necks staring at him, and I get really irate. Ive developed a habit of shouting
"WHAT!! Do you want his autograph or something?" or "He might not be able to walk but he can see you fine thanks!"
at them, which he finds hilarious and it makes me feel better too! :)
The not saying thankyou when you let people out thing drives me mad as well, or you get the ones who are off in their own little world, and cant see you pulled over waiting, and just glide on by, thus annoying the traffic coming the other way, and blocking the road.
And I always, always say sorry if I bash someone in the supermarket. I do wish people wouldnt hold their discussions about "what to have for tea," or "what are we going to buy to go with that" in the middle of the aisle though, thus creating a chicane with their trollies that then causes more chaos.
Im ranting now, so I shall stop, sorry! All the students started back at uni today, and invaded my lovely and quiet over the summer supermarket. :angry:
(and stole all the food)
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 18:59
I get people staring at Marchant because he looks different, with children I dont mind it because theyre just naturally curious, however I find it very rude when adults do it because they should know better, some actually almost snap their necks staring at him, and I get really irate. Ive developed a habit of shouting
"WHAT!! Do you want his autograph or something?" or "He might not be able to walk but he can see you fine thanks!"
at them, which he finds hilarious and it makes me feel better too! :)
I take it your son is disabled in some way. It's an interesting idea, because I suppose people are always going to stare at people who are different so you've got to deal with it one way or the other.
I don't really know what a good way to handle it is, getting aggressive with people who stare shows your son that its not okay for anyone to think less of him (if that's on their mind) but it seems too defensive - like he has something he needs to defend that others don't. Probably better to get aggressive.
Knipples
28-09-2008, 19:04
I take it your son is disabled in some way. It's an interesting idea, because I suppose people are always going to stare at people who are different so you've got to deal with it one way or the other.
I don't really know what a good way to handle it is, getting aggressive with people who stare shows your son that its not okay for anyone to think less of him (if that's on their mind) but it seems too defensive - like he has something he needs to defend that others don't. Probably better to get aggressive.
Hes the child I look after, but yes is almost like a son to me as I have looked after him for 10 of his 12 years.
Like I said I have no problem at all with children doing it, and if they come and ask questions we usually chat to them and explain it at a level they can understand based on their age, BUT adults really should know better, ok have a peek at him, but to nearly trip over or walk into something because you have nearly snapped your neck looking at him is just downright rude sorry.
AboveTheSalt
28-09-2008, 19:08
I have developed a really bad habit of shouting 'YOU'RE WELCOME!!' if someone walks through a door I'm holding for them without acknowledging me. ;D... me too, except that I say "My pleasure", hoping that they will catch the ironic touch :)
If people cant be arsed to move their trollies in Tesco as well, I bloody well move them for them, and normally send them flying in the process.
I think standards of manners in general have fallen, and this can only be down to parents I think. I'm very strict with the girls and their 'please' and 'thanks you's, if things really seem to start slipping as they invariably do occasionally I become a total manner nazi. I've put dinners in front of them and then 10 seconds later taken them away again lol.
Its a tough one, because if people aren't bought up using manners then they perhaps can't be crticised for not using them. I've been guilty of forgetting to thank drivers too, I bet we all have. Incredibly irritating though!
SidewinderINC
28-09-2008, 19:16
I think standards of manners in general have fallen, and this can only be down to parents I think. I'm very strict with the girls and their 'please' and 'thanks you's, if things really seem to start slipping as they invariably do occasionally I become a total manner nazi. I've put dinners in front of them and then 10 seconds later taken them away again lol.
That's the way it needs to be done, no tollerance for bad manners and they'll soon learn good manners :)
Knipples
28-09-2008, 19:21
see, this is slight O/T (but not completely), I have a bit of a problem with this. I have seen so many people who have a disability say that the worst possible thing that someone can do is ignore them - because one of the most infuriating thing about their disability is the feeling of invisibility it gives them.
So if I happen to make eye contact with someone then realise they are disabled, I will smile gently at them (as I would do with most people who I make eye contact with) and purposely NOT look away.
Then I see people on TV talking about how people looking at them makes them uncomfortable and people smiling at them makes them feel patronized and I feel so sad - all people are different obviously, and what one is ok with, another isn't, and I can only do what I feel the best thing to do is - which is be myself, and react the way my mind is telling me to.
I'm not sure that makes any sense (and it's not directed at you Knip, what you're saying is people generally being a bit ignorant, and I understand that having grown up around a severely disabled boy). It's a bit like trying to hold an item above your head in a shop so that the suspicious shop owner doesn't think you're trying to steal it - I try and signal that I'm not treating someone any differently because they have a disability (which in a way means I AM Treating them differently), and because I try to treat everyone the same, disabled or otherwise, that causes problems because everyone's different.
I would rather people smiled at him, and said "hi" rather than just stared, because as you said, then they become a person and not a disability. And also as you said im on about the ignorant ones.
see, this is slight O/T (but not completely), I have a bit of a problem with this. I have seen so many people who have a disability say that the worst possible thing that someone can do is ignore them - because one of the most infuriating thing about their disability is the feeling of invisibility it gives them.
I do the same. You catch their eye and smile at them and then you start wondering to yourself if you've done the right thing. It's strange really.
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 19:39
Hes the child I look after, but yes is almost like a son to me as I have looked after him for 10 of his 12 years.
Like I said I have no problem at all with children doing it, and if they come and ask questions we usually chat to them and explain it at a level they can understand based on their age, BUT adults really should know better, ok have a peek at him, but to nearly trip over or walk into something because you have nearly snapped your neck looking at him is just downright rude sorry.
Yeah, there is a difference between looking and staring
Knipples
28-09-2008, 19:48
It's not patronising if I do it because i'm a weirdo who smiles at everyone. Growing up around a 'WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT' environment does that to you :p
Yeah maybe im a bit too sensitive. I guess I just see him when hes upset cos he cant run about playing football in the same way etc, and it bothers me.
Saying that though his mates are fab, and are great at having a go at people staring.
NokkonWud
28-09-2008, 19:52
The Americans leave us standing, hell they even class people as ma'am and sir.
I do often feel the only person out there with manners. I've never not held a door open for someone, but it seems no one does for me any more.
I've always thought the influx of foreigners have done little to aid manners, combined with the perpetuation of chavs. Foreign people, particularly those who come from poor economic climates, tend to have learned manners that are far more confrontational than your average middle-class and even working class people.
If anything I've found it to be the complete opposite. Most of the foreigners I've dealt with have been far better mannered than us Brits, which is quite appalling for what a country once infamous for its "proper" and unfailingly courteous behaviour. In particular I've found the Hungarians to be the most polite.
Blaming the foreigners is a good way to hide from the truth: Britain has gone appallingly down hill, and the fault lies at home, not elsewhere. It's easy to pick on outside targets, but if we were as good as we'd ever be, foreigners would be the embarrassed ones.
I think standards of manners in general have fallen, and this can only be down to parents I think. I'm very strict with the girls and their 'please' and 'thanks you's, if things really seem to start slipping as they invariably do occasionally I become a total manner nazi. I've put dinners in front of them and then 10 seconds later taken them away again lol.
An interesting point that came up in discussions this weekend was that it's not just deeds that need correcting, but attitudes behind the deeds. It's something I never really thought about much before now, but thinking on it I've realised just how much my parents drummed into me why I should be apologetic in certain circumstances or whatever I was supposed to be that I wasn't.
Like with your kids, if I failed to say "Thank You" when served at the table, the food would be taken away and I would get told in no uncertain terms about the hard work that had gone into producing that meal, until I was appropriately thankful, and very aware of why I should be.
This seems to be something that just doesn't happen these days. Schools can do only so much to correct attitude, that has to come from the home and the parents.
I do often feel the only person out there with manners. I've never not held a door open for someone, but it seems no one does for me any more.
I tend to feel that way at times too. It always used to surprise students at the 6th form where I was working when I held open doors for them, and the same with teachers too. Most of them would actually thank me though. In some cases certain teachers never would (I was only a lowly 'support staff' member as far as they were concerned, probably about one rank above mud, despite how important our roles were to their day-to-day teaching), and I'd always make the point of saying "Thank you for letting me hold the door for you." It's great when you get to do that with them in front of students too. They soon learn.
What really did cheese me off at the college was the number of times I was left to struggle with a door whilst lugging around projectors, projection screens, TVs, the PA pod, PCs, monitors, printers and the like. All were clumsy big things and awkward at the best of times to lug around, without having to open doors. I could go to a door right beside a student standing chatting, they might even watch me struggling with the door, but they'd often not bother to help. The teachers were worst at that though, by a long stretch.
The Americans leave us standing, hell they even class people as ma'am and sir.
I do often feel the only person out there with manners. I've never not held a door open for someone, but it seems no one does for me any more.
I agree about the Americans. The first time I went to the States, I was very sceptical and expecting the have a nice day stuff. The thing is either all of them are very good actors or they do sincerely mean it. I suspect that as our manners get eroded here, then when people do speak like that then you assume it's false or put on
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 20:02
If anything I've found it to be the complete opposite. Most of the foreigners I've dealt with have been far better mannered than us Brits, which is quite appalling for what a country once infamous for its "proper" and unfailingly courteous behaviour. In particular I've found the Hungarians to be the most polite.
You shouldn't be so quick to generalise about 'us Brits' when we are divided amongst ourselves, unless this is also an admission that you yourself have appalling manners. Your comment is also generalised and of little value unless you have had the benefit of seeing the several parts of London where the percentage and variety of foreigners is much higher than elsewhere.
Blaming the foreigners is a good way to hide from the truth: Britain has gone appallingly down hill, and the fault lies at home, not elsewhere. It's easy to pick on outside targets, but if we were as good as we'd ever be, foreigners would be the embarrassed ones.
Foreigners will bear the blame for that which they are responsible, as well as their successes - were people not ready to generalise on foreigners and at the same time criticise others for doing so.
Also, one visit to the 3rd world would quickly allow anyone to understand why foreign manners are so absent.
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 20:05
I'd always make the point of saying "Thank you for letting me hold the door for you."
:bod:
Also, one visit to the 3rd world would quickly allow anyone to understand why foreign manners are so absent.
Serious question. Is it just cultural ?
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 20:14
Serious question. Is it just cultural ?
In my opinion, the harsher your living conditions the less need for manners and the greater possibility that being polite in any way may work against you. If you've grown up in this it would seem just like the way everyone is, and as a habit would take time to lose.
I don't think that prosperous people from third world nations suffer from this as I've known people from the poorest countries who got a good education and are excellent in dealing with people.
AboveTheSalt
28-09-2008, 20:16
The Americans leave us standing, hell they even class people as ma'am and sir.I would have to say that that is a wild generalisation - America is a VERY big place and there are significant differences in people's attitude from place to place.
I have visited about a dozen places in the USA and whilst I would agree with you about San Francisco, Dallas and New Orleans, I would definitely disagree so far as Miami and New York are concerned. I found the New Yorkers typically to be about as rude as any group of people I have ever encountered. Other placed I have visited in the US seemed no better or worse than the UK.
Psymonkee
28-09-2008, 20:22
Oh yes manners....working in a stupidmarket see's just the very best on offer.
Foreigners are the most thankful/grateful
The Locals are a 50/50 split between having any manners at all and nothing.
The staff are some of the worst however.
Most of the tourists are so wrapped up in the fact that there in St.Andrews that they amble in the middle of the street, cross the road where ever the want and generally blame the locals when they get hit :\
Best of the bunch (behind the foreigners) has to be the students actually....
You shouldn't be so quick to generalise about 'us Brits' when we are divided amongst ourselves, unless this is also an admission that you yourself have appalling manners. Your comment is also generalised and of little value unless you have had the benefit of seeing the several parts of London where the percentage and variety of foreigners is much higher than elsewhere.
Yes there are groups that still have good manners, and yes we are still divided, but you really don't have to go far to keep seeing that as a whole we've gone down hill. Not all generalisations are bad. Heck, you yourself have been sitting there using one when talking about "Foreigners" without even deigning to identify whether you're talking about Europeans, Americans, Australians or wherever. All have dramatically different attitudes to life, manners and pretty much every relevant aspect to this conversation.
Even living in the upper middle-class kind of area I'm in manners are noticeably absent where they never used to be, shockingly also in just the space of 10 - 15 years.
I've lived in the East End of London in a fairly dodgy area, surrounded by Polish, Hungarians, Saffers, Irish, Jews, Iranians and probably pretty much every racial or religious group there is. White Caucasian was the definite ethnic minority. I've also spent time in North and West London, and hung out with people from all over the city. Everywhere I've been, shops, on the buses, in pubs, chatting with people and seeing their general behaviour, almost without fail its been the Brits with the worst behaviour, the Jews with the best, and Hungarians not far behind. The Polish were the most diverse group out there for behaviour. Probably the majority were well behaved and well mannered, but the minority were the most visible ones, generally shaven headed yobs pissing on streets and so on. With the brits the Chavs are by far the worst (hardly a surprise there) but what is appalling are the middle class and upper class people. It's not that they barge you or do anything quite so dramatic and ugly as the Chavs, but when out and about their complete obliviousness to everything going on around them, so focussed on getting to their destination courtesy doesn't even register as a blip on their radar. To them there seems to be no one else in the world. That attitude carries on into other stuff, be it simple things like holding open doors, or the more showy stuff like offering your umbrella to a woman without one when it's raining.
Foreigners will bear the blame for that which they are responsible, as well as their successes - were people not ready to generalise on foreigners and at the same time criticise others for doing so.
Umm.. hypocrite much? A large majority of your political focussed posts are horrifically generalised when it comes to foreigners. If you're going to criticise other people, sort out your own house first.
Also, one visit to the 3rd world would quickly allow anyone to understand why foreign manners are so absent.
Out of curiosity, when was the last time you visited a 3rd world country, and more importantly, visited places that aren't the main city in that country?
Wherever I've travelled I've found better manners than in the UK. They seem to have not lost that sense of community that appears to be lost around here, or at least certainly down in the South. It seems the majority of people know more about what is happening in the lives of characters in Soaps than they do about their neighbours. I wonder how many of their neighbours people on BD can name? How many of them do they know anything about more than just the basics?
Most places across eastern Europe I've been to (and in those places I've been away from the cities), including the '3rd world' ones have a very strong emphasis on being good hosts, to the point where it can be very awkward for visitors not used to the culture (e.g. you can't say "That's a nice rug" because they'll be honour bound to give it to you, and to refuse would be highly rude). Anyone seen to be bad hosts tends to be ostracised by the people around them.
I hate it when people dont use good manners.
The thing I hate most is when people will not use manners towards chidren, as if they dont need them.
Like the other week, someone bumped into me and oliver, and said sorry to me, but not to him, despite almost knocking him over.
If he is able to use manners himself, then he should be given the same courtesy imo.
And I often here parents saying or asking things with children, and not bothering to say please or thankyou to them. It really annoys me.
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 21:54
Wherever I've travelled I've found better manners than in the UK. They seem to have not lost that sense of community that appears to be lost around here, or at least certainly down in the South. It seems the majority of people know more about what is happening in the lives of characters in Soaps than they do about their neighbours. I wonder how many of their neighbours people on BD can name? How many of them do they know anything about more than just the basics?
Most places across eastern Europe I've been to (and in those places I've been away from the cities), including the '3rd world' ones have a very strong emphasis on being good hosts, to the point where it can be very awkward for visitors not used to the culture (e.g. you can't say "That's a nice rug" because they'll be honour bound to give it to you, and to refuse would be highly rude). Anyone seen to be bad hosts tends to be ostracised by the people around them.
What I've quoted is full of useless generalisation, but it did make me question whether I am generalising and I think that manners aren't uniform, even in poor areas of the world. They can be very individual and depend on how a person has grown up within their family and also why you come into contact with people.
I consider many foreigners to lack manners, and social awareness, although that may be just because many who stick out are either foreign or chavs.
but what is appalling are the middle class and upper class people. It's not that they barge you or do anything quite so dramatic and ugly as the Chavs, but when out and about their complete obliviousness to everything going on around them, so focussed on getting to their destination courtesy doesn't even register as a blip on their radar. To them there seems to be no one else in the world. That attitude carries on into other stuff, be it simple things like holding open doors, or the more showy stuff like offering your umbrella to a woman without one when it's raining.
Middle and upper class people have an entirely different set of manners and are usually more socially adept than working class people, and opening doors for people really isn't neccessarily manners. Besides, it can be useful to break etiquette in social situations as long as it is done with confidence, which may be why you percieve middle/upper class people as lacking manners.
I know what you mean Olibubble, My eldest Bro is the same :(
I have to tell him to use manners as my children bloody do.
I always say thank you if someone opens door for me (I say sometimes as most of the time people watch me struggle with double buggy with Josh trying to hold door open) and if my children or myself bump into anyone I always say sorry.
I almost lost it with a woman at chessington last month as she bumped into my pushchair and gave me an evil look as if it was my fault.
I made sure her husband heard me moaning about her to Iain lol.
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 22:13
I was on crutches over the summer and lots of people would offer to help me and I got offered seats on almost every bus/train I used, despite the fact that I was resolute not to take any help.
Knipples
28-09-2008, 22:14
I always say thank you if someone opens door for me (I say sometimes as most of the time people watch me struggle with double buggy with Josh trying to hold door open)
Grrr thats another thing that bugs me, people struggling with buggies and no one helps them, getting on and off of buses or trains or through doors, and I will always (if I safely can) stop if theres someone with children waiting to cross the road at a junction.
I've spent a fair amount of time in America (on different coasts) and in my experience it seems to be that Americans in service, are much more polite because the customers expect it. However in their everyday lives, those customers, and Americans in general, are far less polite to those in service than we are. I'm constantly amazed when they come and pour you water or bring bread and the other diners don't even acknowledge their existence.
Have to agree here - I somewhat hinted at the service thing as I've also noticed this. A sizeable part of this is the fact that they're so dependant on tips for their living. No manners = no money.
I think that generalisations on class/ethnic/racial origins are bound to fail here. All societies have their good and their bad.
I've been to Madeira and encountered incredibly friendly and helpful taxi drivers, and then gone down to the local supermarket and encountered the miserable sods working check-out.
I've been to Bulgaria and work colleagues have taken me to restaurants where the staff speak barely a word of English, but they do their best to help nonetheless, yet woe betide you if you try to cross a busy road.
Also, we can only make comparative judgements when we have regular experience. We can safely say that good manners are on the wane here, but can we make the same comparisons elsewhere? Probably not.
NokkonWud
28-09-2008, 23:20
I have visited about a dozen places in the USA and whilst I would agree with you about San Francisco, Dallas and New Orleans, I would definitely disagree so far as Miami and New York are concerned. I found the New Yorkers typically to be about as rude as any group of people I have ever encountered. Other placed I have visited in the US seemed no better or worse than the UK.
You make a good point. My Gran came back from Miami about 4 years ago and she said she was stunned by the rudeness of the people there.
cleanbluesky
28-09-2008, 23:23
Also, we can only make comparative judgements when we have regular experience. We can safely say that good manners are on the wane here, but can we make the same comparisons elsewhere? Probably not.
Human beings make judgements all the time, what you are suggesting is not that we are not fit to make them on others but that we should only share them about our own culture. I feel free to comment on whatever I wish.
Human beings make judgements all the time, what you are suggesting is not that we are not fit to make them on others but that we should only share them about our own culture. I feel free to comment on whatever I wish.
But then you go and criticise people that make the self same sort of judgements....
And, to be clear, I never said that you couldn't comment - but unfortunately in this instance comment without experience means pretty much squat. Of course, if you do have the experience, then relate away. Sorry for being rather blunt there.
AboveTheSalt
28-09-2008, 23:38
I've lived in the East End of London in a fairly dodgy area, surrounded by Polish, Hungarians, Saffers, Irish, Jews, Iranians and probably pretty much every racial or religious group there is. White Caucasian was the definite ethnic minority. I've also spent time in North and West London, and hung out with people from all over the city. Everywhere I've been, shops, on the buses, in pubs, chatting with people and seeing their general behaviour, almost without fail its been the Brits with the worst behaviour, the Jews with the best, and Hungarians not far behind. The Polish were the most diverse group out there for behaviour.Now, you've set me to wondering, how did you manage to identify to which "racial or religious group" each of these people belonged :confused:
I simply can't imagine meeting a stranger on a bus or in a pub and asking to see their passport.
Now, you've set me to wondering, how did you manage to identify to which "racial or religious group" each of these people belonged :confused:
I simply can't imagine meeting a stranger on a bus or in a pub and asking to see their passport.
Do you ever have conversations with random people whilst out and about? It's surprising how often such things do come up, particularly when I've just got onto a bus with an acoustic guitar and a bag of pedals and stuff when on my way to church. I've lost count how many times I've had a conversation like so:
Them: That's a heavy load, off to something specific?
Me: Yeah, on my way to church, I'm involved in the worship team.
Them: You're a Christian then?
Me: Yup, card carrying, Jesus loving, Spirit filled Christian. (or whatever feels appropriate)
Them: Oh, I'm a muslim/hindu/christian/flying spaghetti monsterist myself
Jews are easy to spot, they're the main ones shopping in the Kosher aisle at Asda ;)
Having worked closely with people from a fair number of European countries and all sorts of nationalities, I'm fairly adept at picking out nationalities based on accents, quirks of their english wording, and odd words in their own language.. e.g. Polish people have a tendancy to say "Tak.. Tak.." while in conversation with each other.
It grates on me when people don't thank you for things like opening doors and letting them out at a junction etc. I'm a bit like Kitten and end up saying "Why thank you very much, that's evvvvver so kind of you!!" ;D
I always find I am looking at people too although I am uncertain whether they think I am staring or not. I just like people watching :) If I ever catch someones eye I tend to smile and say hey! Tube trains suck bum though! Saying that I did manage to stand on a poor Mums foot once and I apologised profusely and told her kids they'd have to carry Mummy home now and she was really nice :) But most people just don't even acknowledge you if you say "pardon" or smile or anything. Weiiiiiird town people you are!
As for cultural differences I can only comment on what I've experienced and in all my life I have probably encountered one or two times where I have thought "you rude nicompoop" to who I presume were foreigners whilst in England... which greatly outweighs the amount of times I have said the same to someone (I have presumed) is English. My Polish friend is the biggest gem ever. Incredibly polite although she explains to me that her country has a very sarcastic and dry sense of humour so she's found some people can interpret their jokiness as insulting :( Boo!
I find when I am out and about I end up chatting to randoms all the time and I think that way I have experienced peoples better sides! I also have an incredibly cheesey smile and am quite vocal so if I ever rush to open a door for someone I tend to say "here y'ar!" type thing which encourages a positive response :)
And Kitten! You saying about staring at people - you scared the pants off me when I was trying to quietly unravel my sleeping bag one morning! There's me rolling it up and focusing not on making uber loud noises and as I turn there's this lady staring right at me with eyes the size of plates!! ;D
I wonder whether it is humour or sexist ignorance that sponsored this post.
I don't tend to tailor my manners to anyone else, and I think expecting strangers to automatically meet some kind of social behaviour is needy, although only slightly.
No you're right, I don't actually give way to anyone any more. My question is usually would that person be courteous to me, the answer is almost always no, so I do not impart my courtesy at all. The small percentage who do are lavished with my attention.
I think this is a result of living in London though. Compared to the rest of the country people are very rude here.
I think this is a result of living in London though. Compared to the rest of the country people are very rude here.
Have to agree... very little people in London thank you for giving way on the roads.
An example of bad manners (or just plain rudeness) was this morning catching the bus from London Bridge to Liverpool street.
This woman pushed in the queue and despite being told that the back of the line was 50m in the opposite direction, she just kept saying 'I have a right to stand here'... whatever!
The 149 pulls up (this is a bendy bus which you basically can get on anywhere) but there was no room left for this woman who pushed at the front so she had to get back in the queue.
The next bus was a 48 (which has a conductor), she didn't get on it... possibly because she didn't have a ticket... got her absolutely nowhere pushing in.. what a loser. :rolleyes: lolled at her when I walked past. Silly woman.
Love it when Karma gets its own back.
BB x
Grrr thats another thing that bugs me, people struggling with buggies and no one helps them, getting on and off of buses or trains or through doors, and I will always (if I safely can) stop if theres someone with children waiting to cross the road at a junction.
The buggy through doors really does bother me now that my little helper is at school :(
Its bad enough with a small buggy but with a double its a nightmare.
Road thing can be annoying especially when its pouring with rain and I find that its women with no children in car or 20-40ish men that actually stop while we cross. weird eh? you'd expect the parents with kids in cars to understand and let us across.
Bus thing I've never really had a problem with as there is usually an old lady willing to get girls on bus for me and if not I just hand baby over to bus driver while I get buggy and older daughter on the bus. :)
Grrr thats another thing that bugs me, people struggling with buggies and no one helps them, getting on and off of buses or trains or through doors, and I will always (if I safely can) stop if theres someone with children waiting to cross the road at a junction.
People with buggies do my head in too- they dawdle along and take up the whole flipping pavement. The current fashion for massive prams/buggies should be outlawed, particularly the ones with 3 wheels that have about the same road footprint as an average hatchback. I even saw one with disc brakes FFS.
Bring back good old-fashioned foldy McLaren pushchairs tbh.
Oh wait...you ARE people with buggies aren't you....(steps away slowly).
Actually I've just been seeing my gf's new niece so had an experience of seeing things from the other side of the fence so to speak although I still think that a 4 foot wide pram for a child that I can pretty much hold in 1 hand is slightly excessive.
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