View Full Version : ** Speaking from experience!!! **
Admiral Huddy
10-10-2008, 14:59
I'm feeling generous today so here are five genuine things I'd like to share, speaking from experience, in hope you would never do the same..
1. Never use Veet for inner nose hair removal
2. Pour red wine over your boss
3. Look out the window whilst pulling a 20kg weight from a barbell
4. Sit on a 3inch wood screw
5. Never try dressing up as a woman just before having to pick the kids up from school
Now let's have your five:
Matblack
10-10-2008, 15:03
Cut your own hair
Take an overdose of ***
Spend all day swimming in a hot country and not put sun block on the tops of your ears
Get fat
Try to drive from Maidstone to Pembroke on the foggyest night of the year
MB
Admiral Huddy
10-10-2008, 15:12
I'm concerned about no 2 Matt!! Not taking a dump.. I mean ***??
chumpychops
10-10-2008, 15:16
Never mix the pink with the stink
Never have *that* conversation with a girl when drunk.
Danger****s are called that for a reason
Before going 2's up on a girl with a mate, ask yourself if you really want to see his vinegar strokes face.
Marmite is disgusting.
1. Ask out a girl whose name you completely misheard. It's a really bad start.
2. Go out in a polyester shirt then stand in front of someone while they try to light a shot of Sambuca in their mouth.
3. Down three pints of lager then get on a bus with no toilet.
4. Get locked in a toilet cubicle in a restaurant where no-one speaks English.
5. Unplug an AC adapter from the back of an electonic keyboard and touch the connector to your tongue.
Christ, what a night.
leowyatt
10-10-2008, 15:24
Sounded like an awesome night Belmit ;D
Matblack
10-10-2008, 15:33
I'm concerned about no 2 Matt!! Not taking a dump.. I mean ***??
You lot don't know me as well as you might think :o
MB
Stan_Lite
10-10-2008, 15:39
Never:
Drink a bottle of Southern Comfort in the bath.
Pour petrol in a metal drum full of rubbish and then stand over it while you throw a match in it.
Have sex with your mother's best friend.
Drink and drive.
Marry a lying slut.
Never:
1) assume that "older men" = "more sensible men"
2) guess what "golf ball size" is, when making cookies.
3) see a magazine article about fringes, decide that you absolutely must have one right now.. find that the hair dressers has no appointments for the same day, and think "how hard can it be really?"....
4) think of IKEA when deciding somewhere to go to spend a few hours, unless you actually want to argue.
5)Start filling in a list that has 5 spaces, when you can only think of 4!
:D
Admiral Huddy
10-10-2008, 15:49
Have sex with your mother's best friend.
.
yew!! haha please expand!!
Creature
10-10-2008, 15:49
Never:
1) Admit that you can get a hairclip in your hair, as you will inevitably asked to prove it.
2) Kick a football that is sat on metal carpet seperators, unless you wish to miss the bottom of your big toe.
3) Say you can do the moonwalk, then fall over whilst doing it.
4) Moan about foreigners....to a foreigner, particularly a Spanish one.
5) Decide to wear a short sleaved t-shirt and jeans due a torrential rain storm.
Matblack
10-10-2008, 15:53
yew!! haha please expand!!
I did, I don't recomend it, see number my number 4
MB
Never:
1. Have a guy friend over for dinner when the other half is away working, because when he comes home early, he will only assume one thing
2. Tell schoolfriends embarrassing stories, because 10 years later at the reunion, they *will* remember
3. Fool around with anyone you work with at a Christmas party
4. Let your other half loose when he is hell bent on buying speakers
5. Go into the Gents in a nightclub. It can only lead to one of two things, neither of which you wanna remember the next day
Never -
1 - Think your children will be able to resist pulling the red emergency chord in a disabled loo while you've got your knickers round your ankles.
2 - NEVER (I cant emphasise this enough!) do a home bikini wax with anything other than bikini strips. You WILL fall in the bath from shock.
3 - When trying to impress someone at work while there is a camera man in the back of the car, do not sit on his pot of melon. And not realise until he asks for it.
4 - Know that at Splash Landings at Alton Towers, when a kid empties half a tonne of water over you from a great height, it will knock your swimming costume straps down. It's best to remember this before you spin around and try to look outraged.
5 - Do not get caught on CCTV trying to get the knickers out of your arse immediately before a fight occurs.
6 (yeah yeah, bite me!) Never say never :)
Never
1. Leave your wallet in the womens toilets on the motorway service station.
2. Drink a bottle of JD by the pool only to fall asleep till 4.00 in the afternoon in the Ibiza Sun.
3. Get thrown out of your hotel two days before coming home from same Ibiza holiday with no money.
4. Turn off your PC without clearing out Internet Browsing History ;)
5. Kneel down on a pint pot twice
Never:
1) Look at your watch whilst holding an open can of drink in the same hand.
2) Forget about a doorstep.
3) Give a rear engined RWD car with no clutch some beans in the snow.
4) Go out with a guy 5 years younger than you. Or at least an 18 year old when you are 23)
5) Get so drunk you are sick in bed.
3) Say you can do the moonwalk, then fall over whilst doing it.
This reminds me of one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Mr. Von Smallhausen moonwalking really badly across the stage at Chicago's in Braintree, while a Michael Jackson video was projected into the screen behind him.
The video was a charity single with images of starving kiddies in Africa.
Admiral Huddy
10-10-2008, 16:30
Never -
5 - Do not get caught on CCTV trying to get the knickers out of your arse immediately before a fight occurs.
I'm confussed by this so you will have to tell us this story..
The way I read this is that you had your knickers down you ankles whilst trying to film it on CCTV but you were caught when you pulled the red emergency cord and the kids ran away. You were caught by a camaera man holding a big melon... and you said "NOWAY IS THAT GOING NEAR ME". So you had to fight him off.. and this all happened at Splash landings... :confused:
leowyatt
10-10-2008, 16:32
I think she means her knickers were stuck up her arse so she had to pull them out before she waded into the fight ;D I'm sure they weren't around her ankles :p then again this is Pebs ;D
Kell_ee001
10-10-2008, 16:33
Never...
1) Do something you're uncomfortable with just because you really like a guy
2) Forget who stood by you when no-one else did
3) Just complain if something really gets you down - if it upsets you that much do something about it!
4) Date a married man
5) Forget that just because people do bad things sometimes, that it doesn't automatically make them a bad person, just one that made mistakes.
I'm confussed by this so you will have to tell us this story..
The way I read this is that you had your knickers down you ankles whilst trying to film it on CCTV but you were caught when you pulled the red emergency cord and the kids ran away. You were caught by a camaera man holding a big melon... and you said "NOWAY IS THAT GOING NEAR ME". So you had to fight him off.. and this all happened at Splash landings... :confused:
You've seen the footage then :'( Lessons learnt, I've moved on. ;)
Never
1.) Mix tequilla with vodka
2.) Wash your jeans without checking and double checking your pockets.
3.) Pop outside and think the newspaper will prop the door open.
4.) Watch porn whilst you have the Media Player artist - title MSN plugin turned on.
5.) Put the immersion header on for 21 hours to "give the hot water a quick boost"
Never:
1. Attempt to open your student house door when drunk and hungry by shoving your arm through the letter box. You may just get stuck and your "friends" may just leave you there for an hour with a packet of chips and some fairy liquid just out of your reach.
2. Boast (even jokingly) to a man you've just met that you could beat him at a game of pool and then play a game against him. He may just turn out to be Roni O Sullivan and you may end up looking very silly.
3. Go to the pub and have a few drinks before going to Christmas Midnight Mass. Although you think it's funny that the statue of Jesus looks like he's talking... no one else will.
4. Use face cleansing oil without checking the bottle - especially when you have sensitive skin. Nail varnish remover WILL make your face look like a baboons butt.
5. Meet a load of people for the first time and think it would be a fab idea to wear gold spandex, drinks lots of skittle vodka and then do some crazy air-saxophoning to some choons whilst in compromising positions when people have cameras.
6. (like pebs said - bite me ;D) Say to someone "what do you mean you don't know my name?!?" and then realise you've forgotten theirs. (Sorry Huddy ;))
Oh and
7. (this is an important one) Presume that anything brown in the kitchen must be chocolate and pick it up off the kitchen floor and proceed to eat it. This is very presumptuous and incredibly bad news. Especially when you have a new puppy dog.
Greenlizard0
10-10-2008, 17:07
2. Boast (even jokingly) to a man you've just met that you could beat him at a game of pool and then play a game against him. He may just turn out to be Roni O Sullivan and you may end up looking very silly as you run round the table three times with your trousers around your ankles.
Hmm....I'm going to have to give this one a ponder...(in no particular order)..[Never] :
*Spot reserved*
1. While trying to chat up a fit Swedish girl, never feel so overwhelmed that you have to make a story up. Apparently I went to Sweden a few years back, fell off a moose and spent a month in hospital. The same thing happened to her father and he died.
2. Make innapropriate jokes with people you don't know. (Similar to 1.). Jade Goody getting cancer is hilarious, but perhaps finding out that the stranger's mother/daughter/etc., has the same thing after toasting a shot to the aforementioned celeb...isn't...funny.
3. Take a dump in a baby bath or bidet (the one where you shouldn't put a naked bottom near). Being too young can easily be forgiven, but being drunk isn't.
4. Forget to look around before letting rip and giving a huge *sigh*. The six examiners about to grill you might be old, but their sense of hearing and smell are certainly not senile.
5. Dress up in a scooby doo outfit, get a taxi into town to meet 15 other "friends" who in their normal clothes point and laugh. The buggers. They were all in it.
1. Dive backwards into a swimming pool without looking how far from the edge you are first.
2. Have your hair down and chew chewing gum on a windy day.
3. Invite friends to come and work with you and get them a job.
4. Lean too close to a faulty gas fire while you light it if you like your eyebrows.
5. Decide it's a good idea to drink 3/4 of a bottle of Martini on coming home from a boozy night out unless you want to spend the next day scraping vomit out of the fireplace.
I've got WAY too many to just narrow it down to 5...
Flibster
10-10-2008, 17:20
1) Never accept a bet that you can drink a pint of vodka in one. You may win it.
2) Never crash a car at above 150mph - you won't remember it and it hurts.
3) Never get drunk and sleep with your girlfriends sister. See the second part of number 2.
4) Never get you knee demolished by a high velocity hockey ball
5) Never drink so much at university that you effectively can't drink anything for the rest of your life.
Stan_Lite
10-10-2008, 18:24
Never:
4. Use face cleansing oil without checking the bottle - especially when you have sensitive skin. Nail varnish remover WILL make your face look like a baboons butt.
Sorry Pheebles but that made me proper rofl ;D
Inspired by a couple of other peoples experiences.
5a. Always check your passport isn't in your trouser pockets before putting them in the washing machine unless you have a spare £97 lying around (especially when you need it to go to work in two weeks :().
5b. Never dive head first into a swimming pool you're visiting for the first time when you can't read the sign that says "No diving past this point" because you haven't got your specs on.
Matblack
10-10-2008, 18:28
Never get really really really bad hay fever and assume that the dropper bottle on the bathroom shelf is eyedrops.
I might be this stuff!
http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/5999/46d829e6673529698418to5.jpg
http://www.nomadtravel.co.uk/catalog/view/somersets-mens-shaving-oil?froogle
It used to come in eyedrop style bottles and its massively concentrated menthol oil so it doesn't just wash out, when I did it I did actually roll around on the floor screaming, I was lucky to keep my eyesight in that eye.
MB
semi-pro waster
10-10-2008, 19:07
1) Never attempt to cycle while so drunk that you can barely stand up straight, not big and not clever.
2) Never instantly believe mates when they say "oh yeah, that girl definitely fancies you", I'm pretty sure it wasn't malicious but the boy is still a tit.
3) Never get involved in a drinking competition and when the other guy says "that's enough" continue on by yourself just to prove a point AKA "I'm too drunk to have a scooby what is going on".
4) Never assume the same opportunity will come round again or that a better one will.
5) Never giggle like a schoolgirl because you've just heard your girlfriends hips crack while in flagrante delicto. Although you may find it very amusing at the time she probably will not and it does slightly ruin the mood.
Having said that these are things you should never do, I wouldn't recommend them but they've helped make me into who I am today so while I'd try not to repeat them I can't say I'm too upset at having made them. :)
Here's mine so far, not sure if I'll get to 5.
1. Never sleep with a married man, even if he says he's not :/
2. Never put non waterproof makeup on then go for a walk in the rain.
3. Never clean your sick cat's bum when he has diarreha (sP?) he will fart and spray (scart).
4. Don't stand next to a puddle while waiting for a bus, you will get wet.
Can't think of any more at the minute, I'm sure I will later!
1. Never use self tanning wipes the day before you meet your new bloke.
2. Never have sex outside where security guards might patrol.
3. Never take too many E's as you end up looking mad as a fish.
4. Never get so drunk that you can't walk without falling over.
5. Never meet strange men from chatrooms it may end in a 6yr relationship and 3kids.
Thats it for me I think :D
1. "Don't whizz on the electric fence" was something from Ren and Stimpy to take seriously.
2. Don't do the local Reverand's daughter in the back of a Volkswagen on sacred grounds.
2a. If you simply must, don't get caught. :p
3. Don't fry black pudding naked. Hot fat on your willy leads to years of explaining half a dozen small round scars.
4. Don't drive golf carts when drunk.
5. Don't challenge Dani Filth to a fight. You'll win but he'll bitch about it for years.
6. WD40 is not a penetrating oil.
7. Ouzo is not a milk substitute.
8. There is no eight.
9. Don't drink wine.
*n
1. Never use self tanning wipes the day before you meet your new bloke.
omg so true.
Here's mine so far, not sure if I'll get to 5.
1. Never sleep with a married man, even if he says he's not :/
Married men....gotcha
Men who say they arent married......check
er.....who CAN I sleep with!? :huh:
Flibster
10-10-2008, 21:43
Married men....gotcha
Men who say they arent married......check
er.....who CAN I sleep with!? :huh:
Women? ;)
Hmm.. tricky.
1) Think your way through an idea at least half way first before executing, saves a lot of embarrassment.
2) Never slag off a teacher when they're standing right behind you.
3) Never eat seafood at a buffet. The inevitable food poisoning isn't fun.
4) Never agree to help anyone with their computer stuff, unless they're close friends / family; you'll soon find it takes over your life.
5) Never let your fear stop you from doing something. You'll never forgive yourself.
Finally started to learn that one in time to make a move on Lana despite my fears of how she might react and what the possible implications were.
6) Never be afraid to laugh at yourself in public. If you've learnt from 5) then odds are reasonable you'll make a tit of yourself sometimes, or mess up. Self deprecatory humour can convert a hostile public to a supportive one under those circumstances.
4. Don't drive golf carts when drunk.
I'd like to expand this to:
Don't drive golf carts on residential streets in Adelaide, crash into someone's garage, try to run away, fall through a hedge into a pond, climb out, fall into the road, pass out, wake up and then refer to the attending officer as a 'bastard son of a convict'...
*n
I'd like to expand this to:
Don't drive golf carts on residential streets in Adelaide, crash into someone's garage, try to run away, fall through a hedge into a pond, climb out, fall into the road, pass out, wake up and then refer to the attending officer as a 'bastard son of a convict'...
*n
LOL! ;D
4) Never agree to help anyone with their computer stuff, unless they're close friends / family; you'll soon find it takes over your life.
I'd say especially close friends and family.
*n
10. The amount of alcohol consumed both increases the likelihood of and decreases the suitability of telling a complete stranger your list of amusing afflictions complete with impressions.
*n
1. Never use self tanning wipes the day before you meet your new bloke.
5. Never meet strange men from chatrooms it may end in a 6yr relationship and 3kids.
The strange man off of the chatroom may well like orange feet.
Dont order 2 large dominos pizzas if you arent meant to eat cheese/
Ow.
:(
Metalface Mark
11-10-2008, 01:16
Cut your own hair
Take an overdose of ***
Spend all day swiming in a hot country and not put sun block on the tops of your ears
Get fat
Try to drive from Maidstone to Pembroke on the foggyest night of the year
MB
You cant overdose on ***. :)
remember to slap strange men off chatrooms for putting head under duvet after he farts :(
Never assume men are more mature when older...
Never assume older men can look after themselves..
Matblack
11-10-2008, 01:23
You cant overdose on ***. :)
Actually thinking about this I do access this site from work and its probably not a good idea charting my youthful misadventures, suffice to say although its not technically an overdose as it is hard to actually take a LD50 of the stuff it was a very extreme experience.
MB
Likewise, if you're already partying with Charles and someone asks if they shold invite Sidney, say no. They don't get on.
*n
I'd like to expand this to:
Don't drive golf carts on residential streets in Adelaide, crash into someone's garage, try to run away, fall through a hedge into a pond, climb out, fall into the road, pass out, wake up and then refer to the attending officer as a 'bastard son of a convict'...
*n
;D
Metalface Mark
11-10-2008, 09:47
Actually thinking about this I do access this site from work and its probably not a good idea charting my youthful misadventures, suffice to say although its not technically an overdose as it is hard to actually take a LD50 of the stuff it was a very extreme experience.
MB
Yeh but good fun though eh, a lot of my best memories have a purple tinge to them ;D
Snuggle Ferret
11-10-2008, 13:31
1. Never believe your hairdresser when she thinks your hair is a size 4 on the clippers and then cut it yourself.
2. Never be sick in bed.
3. Never not believe your Dad when he says you are going to drive his coach!
That's all for now.
Von Smallhausen
11-10-2008, 15:06
5 - Do not get caught on CCTV trying to get the knickers out of your arse immediately before a fight occurs.
LMAO.
5) Decide to wear a short sleaved t-shirt and jeans due a torrential rain storm.
I did a similar thing and my shirt became see through. I felt so naked! Had to walk through Chester city center in a soaked shirt well I may as well have not been wearing it. You could see all my chest hairs. Never felt so exposed.
SidewinderINC
11-10-2008, 20:03
in the back of a Volkswagen
*n
;D;D;D
1. NEVER touch something electrical that isn't properly earthed whilst playing the electric guitar - it WILL hurt
2. When enjoying your brand new girlfriend on your mothers sofa, remember to draw the living room curtains as the gardener might be over that day.
3. when leaving your house, 90% still asleep, the morning after a heavy night of drinking, check all the clothes you are wearing because you might have vomitted on them the night before
4. DO NOT put 2x400g bags of marshmallows in the microwave and eat with a spoon afterwards
5. Veet hair removal cream is not for testicles
1. Never use Veet for inner nose hair removal
5. Veet hair removal cream is not for testicles
I'm spotting a trend with Veet here...
I'm spotting a trend with Veet here...
Hmmm where should I put it on you?? :evil:
SidewinderINC
11-10-2008, 20:08
Hmmm where should I put it on you?? :evil:
between his buttocks, it's a test that must be performed!
(sorry Faysh)
2. Don't do the local Reverand's daughter in the back of a Volkswagen on sacred grounds.
*n
Must be a common thing, I know someone else who did this, VW and everything :D
SidewinderINC
11-10-2008, 20:12
Must be a common thing, I know someone else who did this, VW and everything :D
I'm not sure whether "in the back of a volkswagen" actually means in the back of a VW in Penski's tale. I might be wrong though, and I might have been doubly wrong if you know the quote.
between his buttocks, it's a test that must be performed!
(sorry Faysh)
:evil::evil::evil:;D watch your cheeks faysh :D
:evil::evil::evil:;D watch your cheeks faysh :D
:(
I've veet'd my nadbag before with no ill effects.
*n
Piggymon
11-10-2008, 20:38
Nadbag .. LMAO ! ;D
Penski.. I love you dude ! :D
I've veet'd my nadbag before with no ill effects.
*n
Ah what if Faysh is like you then :( bah my plans are ruined. :(
Nadbag .. LMAO ! ;D
Penski.. I love you dude ! :D
50 quid callout charge, 1st hour 25 quid, 50 per additional hour.
*n
Married men....gotcha
Men who say they arent married......check
er.....who CAN I sleep with!? :huh:
Lol, yeah that didn't make way too much sense. :o
I'm not sure how to word it. My brain is just too, too tired :'(
LOL I knew what you meant Dogma :D
semi-pro waster
12-10-2008, 03:36
I'm not sure whether "in the back of a volkswagen" actually means in the back of a VW in Penski's tale. I might be wrong though, and I might have been doubly wrong if you know the quote.
In the back of a Volkswagon is a very uncomfortable place if I'm not entirely mistaken, more than one girl I know declares it an "out only". Maybe she's wrong but the girls who've said that aren't girls I want to test the theory with. ;)
NokkonWud
12-10-2008, 03:55
Continually tease Cats.
They will eventually get you with their razor sharp claws and teeth.
Davey_Pitch
12-10-2008, 05:46
In the back of a Volkswagon is a very uncomfortable place if I'm not entirely mistaken,
The quote is from Mallrats unless I'm very much mistaken :)
I'm not sure whether "in the back of a volkswagen" actually means in the back of a VW in Penski's tale. I might be wrong though, and I might have been doubly wrong if you know the quote.
I never even thought of that you know!!!
SidewinderINC
12-10-2008, 11:12
The quote is from Mallrats unless I'm very much mistaken :)
It is indeed.
Shannon Hamilton: You see, Bruce, I like to pick up girls on the rebound from a disappointing relationship. They're much more in need of solace and they're fairly open to suggestion. And, I use that to **** them some place very uncomfortable.
Brodie: What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
Shannon Hamilton: No. More like someplace girls dread.
Kell_ee001
12-10-2008, 14:26
LOL I knew what you meant Dogma :D
To be honest that was the only conclusion I came to :o Never occurred to me he might actually have meant in a car ;D
5) Never drink so much at university that you effectively can't drink anything for the rest of your life.
Thats an interesting one. Ive long suspected that my (comparitive) lightweightness nowadays is linked to basically getting drunk on at least 80% of nights at uni.
Never sneak in a sly scratch of your nadbag when chopping birdseye chillis...It will swell to the size of a grapefruit and go bright red.
What's worse is that you can only ease the pain by dunking your scrote in a bowl of milk.
*n
Just a quick one.
Don't choose the toilets by the security office at work if there's even a slim chance of the fire alarm going off. You will be rushed along by a burly security lady pounding on the door the second it goes off.
When kitten no 1 is off having his nads removed do not underestimate kitten no 2s misery, or his keeness to share said misery. Im having to wear shoes as he tries to kill my feet whenever I walk, and while I was making a sandwich he launched and attached himself to the inside of my thigh, trying to climb me like a tree (keep your legs like treetrunks quips to yourselves!!) I thought Ragdoll were supposed to be NICE!
Don't put Olbas Oil on your ballbags. It might be amusing at first...but it takes a long time to wear off :/
leowyatt
20-10-2008, 14:21
fun weekend for you then :p
I did it ages ago....and I'll never do it again ;D
leowyatt
20-10-2008, 15:14
did you do it on purpose?
leowyatt
20-10-2008, 15:29
Heh nothing to be embarrassed about :) we all do stuff like that ;)
Admiral Huddy
20-10-2008, 16:22
Don't put Olbas Oil on your ballbags. It might be amusing at first...but it takes a long time to wear off :/
Why on earth would you do that? So they can slip in easier?
I thought it would be funny :/
In the end, it was only Sinead laughing ;D
Admiral Huddy
20-10-2008, 16:54
I thought it would be funny :/
In the end, it was only Sinead laughing ;D
:D I'm going to try Immac!
Slip in what?!
Blonde moment there tbh Pebs :D
Don't put Olbas Oil on your ballbags. It might be amusing at first...but it takes a long time to wear off :/
On a similar note, don't put it anywhere near where your eyes end up on the pillow... you get it in your eye and you know about it!
Blonde moment there tbh Pebs :D
Its on his nutsack...either I missed an important lesson in biology or I've been doing things wrong for the past *ahem* years!!!
With those three nutcases you've got running about, I don't think you got anything wrong :D
LOL! Thats a matter of opinion!!! It took 3 WHOLE TIMES before I found out what was causing it!
Admiral Huddy
20-10-2008, 17:15
Its on his nutsack...either I missed an important lesson in biology or I've been doing things wrong for the past *ahem* years!!!
LOL at this thread :D
has one not heard about getting ones nuts in!!
LOL! Thats a matter of opinion!!! It took 3 WHOLE TIMES before I found out what was causing it!
What happened on the 4th go?
Admiral Huddy
20-10-2008, 17:21
He fell in!
There hasnt been a 4th go. I'm not falling for that old one again!
Huddy, up to! Not including!
He fell in!
Cheeky barsteward!!
Piggymon
20-10-2008, 17:58
I thought it would be funny :/
In the end, it was only Sinead laughing ;D
What was really funny was that he put a teeny bit on for a laugh, nothing happened so he then tipped half the chuffing bottle over his nuts ;D
My stomach hurt from laughing so much :evil:
Desmo you spooooooooooooooon!
I'm thinking of starting a circus double act with Huddy :D
Admiral Huddy
21-10-2008, 09:50
I'm thinking of starting a circus double act with Huddy :D
We need a name then :D
I dropped my D-Lock on my already crushed toe .. I think I've broken it :(
Dymetrie
21-10-2008, 09:53
I'm thinking of starting a circus double act with Huddy :D
We need a name then :D
I dropped my D-Lock on my already crushed toe .. I think I've broken it :(
The Windy Millers?
Blustering Buffoons?
Fartypants and the Klutz?
The Chuckle Brothers?
:D
leowyatt
21-10-2008, 10:01
dangerous and deadly? :p
Gonundroppedit and Itsborkednow.
On a shift night out, don't tell your boss '**ck you you egotistical tw*t'.
I predict a future of tray checks and scene pres!!!
Pumpkinstew
22-10-2008, 10:10
In my experience it is advisable never to:
1. Get distracted by football scores in the company of a woman
2. Pick a fight with a drunken sheep shearer on their first night off station. They have drunken friends close by and hold a grudge.
3. Kiss a friend, her best friend and your girlfriend on the same eveing. In full view of one another.
4. Call someone a 'stupid, cheating *****' when you are trapped at the bottom of a ruck and have only one arm free.
5. Accidentally use your employers nick name to his face. Sorry, Penfold.:p
stubbornness is a rubbish idea.
It is even worse when being stubborn with someone who is equally as stubborn.
Stan_Lite
22-10-2008, 12:24
On a shift night out, don't tell your boss '**ck you you egotistical tw*t'.
I predict a future of tray checks and scene pres!!!
Or, on a works Christmas night out, enquire as to the whereabouts of your boss by saying "Where is the big, useless c**t anyway?", without looking behind you first :(
MarcLister
22-10-2008, 22:27
Or, on a works Christmas night out, enquire as to the whereabouts of your boss by saying "Where is the big, useless c**t anyway?", without looking behind you first :(The important thing is, did you find him in the end? :D
If working on a Lathe and someone says dont touch that... DONT
If working on a Milling Machine and someone says dont touch that... DONT
If working on nights and everyone else is asleep, dont set off the fire alarm.
If a guy blatantly tries to ram you off the road when you overtake him, DONT drop anchor, block the road, get out of the car and proceed to kick the his drivers door, the police will see it all. :(
Never leave studio equipment, softboxes, lights and a camera in your bedroom when the builders come over to check a leak in the bathroom.
Cant believe I left this out the first time.
Never attach one of the school science labs power packs to one of your mates braces using crocodile clips. Turning it on will result in sparks, removing them from his teeth and him having to have them re-fitted by the dentist.
Never attach one of the school science labs power packs to one of your mates braces using crocodile clips. Turning it on will result in sparks, removing them from his teeth and him having to have them re-fitted by the dentist.
BAHAHHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Greenlizard0
24-10-2008, 18:40
Never leave studio equipment, softboxes, lights and a camera in your bedroom when the builders come over to check a leak in the bathroom.
Cant believe I left this out the first time.
Ouch mate, I take it you were burgled fairly soon afterwards? :(
SidewinderINC
24-10-2008, 20:47
Ouch mate, I take it you were burgled fairly soon afterwards? :(
Or they thought she was a porn star ;D;D
I hope it's that answer, for the sake of not being burgled.
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