Pikey Survival tips & Yours.

Justsomebloke · 26-08-2007, 08:37

Right i shat the bed this morning & have been up since 6 despite gaming till gone 1 last night

So i am bored & am in full Spam mode, This is the first thing that popped into my head i thought was good enough to start a thread on.
Survival tips, You know things that Old people have told you that you just Don't forget.
Here's a couple to get started with.

Caught in an Avalanche tumbled over a zillion times, disorientated you don't know which way is up to dig your way out.
How ? = You Dribble from your mouth & dig the Opposite way

Car goes in a river/flood/of a Dock into the sea

What do you do ?
Roll the windows down about 2 inches, sit having a screaming session until the car rests on the bottom. Having the windows/window down an inch or two will let the water fill the car quite slowly. Gaze & Amaze at the fact your lights are still working

Just before the car fills to the top take one last Massive breath. As the car is now Full of water the door will open easily. Leave the car but do not let go of the car. Touching the car move yourself onto the roof of the car & use your legs & the roof to Push yourself up to the top

Ok now it's your turn

Goose · 26-08-2007, 12:08

Actually that last tactic is flawed. You don't know how far it is to the bottom and would need to rely on the windows working. Even with the windows part-way open it can take too long for the pressure to equalise.

As soon as you hit the water, get the door open. If that fails, turn on the interior light and try to smash the windows. If that doesn't work, you'll have to try your method.

My tip: When ditching a plane, ensure you are flying into the wind. Raise the gear and set flaps to a medium position. Ensure all items are secured. Lighten the plane if possible. Try to keep powered control. Open the door. Aim to land across the swell if the wind is very light. Actively force the plane into the water.

Justsomebloke · 26-08-2007, 12:15

O BUM. I was about to Thank you for saving my thread from sinking like said car & you are only picking my Spammage to bits

Shall i edit to say Only effective in water up to 10 feet

Goose · 26-08-2007, 12:20

Sounds good. Cars should have an in-built depth-o-meter just in case.

Darrin · 26-08-2007, 16:35

If you are caught in a REALLY dense fog, pull off to the side of the road, then pull very gently completely off the paved part into the grass.

Then turn OFF your lights so nobody coming up behind will think you are still on the road and plow into you.

The above applies only to me in a blizzard......

Will think of more when I've had some sleep.

Mark · 26-08-2007, 16:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darrin

If you are caught in a REALLY dense fog, pull off to the side of the road, then pull very gently completely off the paved part into the grass.

Just hope there's not an almighty ditch at the side of the road as tends to happen a lot on country roads in the UK.

mejinks · 27-08-2007, 00:57

Don't eat yellow snow

Actually, if you are caught out in the wilderness and suffering the effects of dehydration, you can boil your own wee to make salt crystals which are useful for many things. Wee is also sterile, the saying "I wouldn't pee on you if you were on fire" is an example of when weeing on someone could save their life.

If you collect wee and leave it sit a while, its pH can get as high as 9.5, which is very useful for cleaning things.

Wee can be filtered through straw (the grassy kind) and left to sit for a year, whereby it can be washed with water. The resulting slurry is then left in the sun to dry and forms saltpeter crystals. Add this to a little charcoal and stone and you have black powder (gunpowder)

Onto other things....

Its a myth that a cactus can be chopped to provide water in the desert. It contains a vomit inducing agent which is something you really don't want in the heat. A reliable indicatior of water is finding insects, small birds and mamals as they tend to collect around sources of water.

Treefrog · 27-08-2007, 12:34

Don't panic - THINK!

Justsomebloke · 27-08-2007, 15:36

Never Tie your shoe laces in a Revolving door

Mark · 27-08-2007, 23:26

Simple and obvious, but oh so embarrassing when you get them wrong...

It's usually a good idea if everyone goes in the same direction when using a revolving door.

Pay attention when getting on and off escalators or moving walkways. This is another place where you might regret forgetting to tie your shoelaces.

Discharging bodily fluids into a strong wind is rarely a good idea.

26-08-2007, 08:37	#1
Justsomebloke The Night Worker Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,228	Pikey Survival tips & Yours. Right i shat the bed this morning & have been up since 6 despite gaming till gone 1 last night So i am bored & am in full Spam mode, This is the first thing that popped into my head i thought was good enough to start a thread on. Survival tips, You know things that Old people have told you that you just Don't forget. Here's a couple to get started with. Caught in an Avalanche tumbled over a zillion times, disorientated you don't know which way is up to dig your way out. How ? = You Dribble from your mouth & dig the Opposite way Car goes in a river/flood/of a Dock into the sea What do you do ? Roll the windows down about 2 inches, sit having a screaming session until the car rests on the bottom. Having the windows/window down an inch or two will let the water fill the car quite slowly. Gaze & Amaze at the fact your lights are still working Just before the car fills to the top take one last Massive breath. As the car is now Full of water the door will open easily. Leave the car but do not let go of the car. Touching the car move yourself onto the roof of the car & use your legs & the roof to Push yourself up to the top Ok now it's your turn __________________

26-08-2007, 12:08	#2
Goose The list is long, but distinguished Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Århus, Denmark Posts: 1,643	Actually that last tactic is flawed. You don't know how far it is to the bottom and would need to rely on the windows working. Even with the windows part-way open it can take too long for the pressure to equalise. As soon as you hit the water, get the door open. If that fails, turn on the interior light and try to smash the windows. If that doesn't work, you'll have to try your method. My tip: When ditching a plane, ensure you are flying into the wind. Raise the gear and set flaps to a medium position. Ensure all items are secured. Lighten the plane if possible. Try to keep powered control. Open the door. Aim to land across the swell if the wind is very light. Actively force the plane into the water. __________________ Last edited by Goose; 26-08-2007 at 12:14.

26-08-2007, 12:15	#3
Justsomebloke The Night Worker Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,228	O BUM. I was about to Thank you for saving my thread from sinking like said car & you are only picking my Spammage to bits Shall i edit to say Only effective in water up to 10 feet __________________

26-08-2007, 12:20	#4
Goose The list is long, but distinguished Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Århus, Denmark Posts: 1,643	Sounds good. Cars should have an in-built depth-o-meter just in case. __________________

26-08-2007, 16:35	#5
Darrin Dirteh Kitteh Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Hiding out in Mormon Country Posts: 1,629	If you are caught in a REALLY dense fog, pull off to the side of the road, then pull very gently completely off the paved part into the grass. Then turn OFF your lights so nobody coming up behind will think you are still on the road and plow into you. The above applies only to me in a blizzard...... Will think of more when I've had some sleep. __________________ A bullet may have your name on it, but shrapnel is addressed "to whom it may concern".

27-08-2007, 12:34	#8
Treefrog Survivor Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Chell Heath, Stoke-on-Trent Posts: 1,761	Don't panic - THINK! __________________ Commit random kindness and senseless acts of beauty

27-08-2007, 15:36	#9
Justsomebloke The Night Worker Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,228	Never Tie your shoe laces in a Revolving door __________________

27-08-2007, 23:26	#10
Mark Screaming Orgasm Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Newbury Posts: 15,194	Simple and obvious, but oh so embarrassing when you get them wrong... It's usually a good idea if everyone goes in the same direction when using a revolving door. Pay attention when getting on and off escalators or moving walkways. This is another place where you might regret forgetting to tie your shoelaces. Discharging bodily fluids into a strong wind is rarely a good idea.

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