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17-12-2007, 15:31 | #1 |
Noob
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Socialist Republik of Kent
Posts: 5,032
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Facts about Mr T you never knew
Probably as old as the internet himself but here's some facts about MR. T
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood. Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus.... All Caucasian people moved to the back. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity. Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway. Mr. T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr. T in the chest. the result was the 80's. On the A-team, Face , Hannibal, and Murdock were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk. Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway. Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter. Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday. Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah. Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T. The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occurred next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history. On all 3428 instances it occurred, when Mr. T and Chuck Norris both 'deflower' the same woman, the resulting spermal battles have caused the woman's uterus to explode in a flurry of pity and roundhouse kicks. It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is too afraid to shine on him. Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him. Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain. Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's. Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba. Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a porn-star regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T. The top 3 causes of death in this country are Heart Disease, Cancer and Mr. T ripping out your soul.
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17-12-2007, 15:37 | #2 |
Do you want to hide in my box?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,941
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Excellent stuff
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Halycopter |
17-12-2007, 15:42 | #3 |
Joey Tempest
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Gravesend.
Posts: 2,751
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I read it on the other forum, now I've read it again. becuase it was awesome enough to read twice
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No Sig. |
17-12-2007, 17:40 | #4 |
The Last Airbender
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pigmopad
Posts: 11,915
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I love this stuff
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17-12-2007, 18:03 | #5 | |
The Stig
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Swad!
Posts: 10,713
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Some people get sick of these but I really don't, I think they're great
Quote:
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apt-get moo |
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21-12-2007, 01:42 | #6 | |
Absinthe
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,247
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Quote:
Even now I can still stop by the Norris site and have a chuckle to myself. |
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17-12-2007, 18:04 | #7 |
Noob
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Socialist Republik of Kent
Posts: 5,032
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^^^ Quit your jibba jabba fool.
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17-12-2007, 18:48 | #8 |
Long Island Iced Tea
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Glasvegas
Posts: 475
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maybe mr T is pretty handy with computers.....
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17-12-2007, 19:10 | #9 | |
Deep Throat
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,512
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Quote:
Hahahahahahaha! I laughed so loudly at that! "jibba jabba"! I don't say it enough! I am now placing that in my daily vocab usage. LOL |
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19-12-2007, 23:04 | #10 |
Long Island Iced Tea
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Cranham, Upminster, Essex
Posts: 293
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Those two made me chuckle more than the others
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