What the hell, it made ME laugh anyway.....

[A Place of Light]

Real or fake, I actually don't care as it made me giggle either way.
Sorry if it's a pearoast.

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :



Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15:
Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23:
When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4:
Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10:
While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6:
In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23:

Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

[Wryel]

Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

Pretty sure one of my mates has done this. A lot. As well as get his wang out in public. A lot.

[divine]

All things people have probably done at some point or another but i'm fairly sure it's fake as i've seen it before and Tesco never got a mention

[Mark]

Same. It's an internet hoax with the names and dates changed. As the original appears to refer to a Wal-Mart store, I guess it came from the US.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

You're right though - it's still funny.

[Matblack]

Aitch was very embaressed when she got that, and it was Sainsbury's not Tesco, we shop at Waitrose now but I have to wait in the car.

MB

[Desmo]

Not as good as getting told off for playing with toys in an Ann Summers shop

[SidewinderINC]

Originally Posted by Desmo

Not as good as getting told off for playing with toys in an Ann Summers shop

the slender ones without the ears/arms/prongs go fastest in races

[Tak]

My mothers husband once loaded up a trolly with packets and packets of loo rolls and when someone looked at him quizzically he just said "curry for dinner tonight" and grinned

[BBx]

Banbury = Has Fayshun been shopping again?!



BB x

[Lomster]

Originally Posted by BBelle

Banbury = Has Fayshun been shopping again?!



BB x

You'd think after being banned from sainsbury's and morrisons that he would learn eh?