My lingerie store visit.

Admiral Huddy · 24-06-2009, 16:11

Why is it that there is this stigma attached with men visiting a lingerie department? What do women who work in these shops think about blokes coming alone? Do they genuinely think you’re sweet beta male who’s thoughtful and brave or just a filthy pervert with an agenda (which is me)?

The other night after watching Nina and the nymphomaniac neurons, my Mrs exclaimed that if I wished to see her in the appropriate attire, I must buy her a new set of sexy lingerie. Greeat!! At first this seems like a good idea but when it boils down to it, it’s quite erroneous task.

So off to the shops and after passing the store entrance about 3 million times I enter only when I see at least one other male in similar circumstances. “Alrite mate?” in a deep alpha male voice”

So I’m in, I’m really in.. All this underwear it’s too much.. It’s only a matter of time... before…. Some young lady taps you on the shoulder and says “can I help you Sir?”

“Yes I’d like some underwear”, I replied. “Well Sir you've come to the right place”. Sarcastic cow!, I think to myself. “Well it’s not for me it for my girlfriend… I mean my wife.. yes my wife”, all flustered. Then there’s short pause which lasts an eternity and you can hear her mind churning away: “You dirty bugger, most likely for the girlfriend..or worse yourself.. your poor wife nagnagnag”.

Anyway, after expressing what I would like .. i then mentioned the lingerie , she then asked, “Hold ups or stockings Sir?.. I would have loved to have said “Would you? That would make my day” lol. She told me there’s an offer on stockings at the moment, buy two get third free. “Oh, she only has two legs”, I replied. I got that ‘we have a comedian’ look! Not impressed!

Briefs - that's easy.. as their name implies they aren't on for too long.. Go for the cheapest.

The most difficult part is the bra, which most of us men make a tit of.. Pun intended!

“Well Sir, what's your wife’s (ahmm) measurements?” This is the worst question that a lingerie shop assistant can ask really. You instantly unavoidably look at her breasts with an involuntary reflex. Caught red handed although not literally, you think to yourself, well let me have a feel of yours so I can get the right idea #Fnnrr# but being a gentleman like me, you don’t.

The default answer to this question is “DD” of course. The problem is for us guys is that if you buy too small she’ll think you're suggesting she’s overweight.. If you get one too big she’ll think you're suggesting she needs a boob job. Either way you’ll be questioned who’s breasts you’ve had your hands on to get it so wrong in the first place. Fortunately, I went down her draws (no pun intended) making sure I got this right.

So I now have a new designer lingerie bag which tells the world of my recent expedition and my least good intentions.

TTIUWP – Forget it

Roberta · 24-06-2009, 16:18

I knew with that title it would be a good 'un.

Thread delivers!

Jonny69 · 24-06-2009, 16:33

Poor Huddy

I quite like shopping for little naughties as it goes, it's just that I end up going in every shop and coming home without what I went out for, thus ending up feeling like that pervert who hangs around Debenhams knicker department looking at the fat old boilers.

Ah wait, I remember my last time: http://www.boat-drinks.co.uk/showthread.php?t=9701

Streeteh · 24-06-2009, 16:35

Don't do it often tbh (as that stuff cost more than i originally thought!) but when i do it typically doesn't phase me, i guess i've just embraced the fact that i'm a big pervert so may as well have a laugh.

Muban · 24-06-2009, 16:59

Of course boys should be allowed to go underwear shopping! There is only one thing better than getting yourself some lovely new undies and that's when someone else buys them for you

If someone would like to purchase me the corset/short combo from the Fauve Carlotta range in red I'll not complain

My favourite clothes items to buy are corsets/undies heels and coats

makes you wonder what I get dressed in every day lol

Aaaah the wonderful adventures of Huddy I shall never tire of them, loves ya

Joe 90 · 24-06-2009, 17:31

The first thing you should of done on entering the shop was to head straight to the staff and ask for assistance, go straight in with "I'm after something for the Mrs" - that's gonna sort out any issues you created for yourself by trying to go it alone.
It's probably the only situation where a man should ask for assistance.

I'm not looking forward to September (again) beginning of the academic year, and the biggest sports social of the year; Cheerleader night. AKA dressing up like sluts (not wearing a whole lot!). Which starts out with a rather interesting trip around the lingerie section of Primark and amusing the staff a whole lot. Rather tough finding stuff to fit a bunch of American Football players!

petemc · 24-06-2009, 19:35

God I do hope you goto Ann Summers one day

Dazzy_G · 24-06-2009, 19:41

Online shopping! wave of the future

Vast majority of her wardrobe comes from http://www.rubber-store.com/

Pickers · 25-06-2009, 08:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dazzy_G

Online shopping! wave of the future

Vast majority of her wardrobe comes from http://www.rubber-store.com/

OMG!!

Roberta · 25-06-2009, 13:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dazzy_G

Online shopping! wave of the future

Vast majority of her wardrobe comes from http://www.rubber-store.com/

Just looking at the front page brought me out in hives!

PVC all the way for me baby!

24-06-2009, 16:11	#1
Admiral Huddy HOMO-Sapien Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Chelmsford Posts: 6,692	My lingerie store visit. Why is it that there is this stigma attached with men visiting a lingerie department? What do women who work in these shops think about blokes coming alone? Do they genuinely think you’re sweet beta male who’s thoughtful and brave or just a filthy pervert with an agenda (which is me)? The other night after watching Nina and the nymphomaniac neurons, my Mrs exclaimed that if I wished to see her in the appropriate attire, I must buy her a new set of sexy lingerie. Greeat!! At first this seems like a good idea but when it boils down to it, it’s quite erroneous task. So off to the shops and after passing the store entrance about 3 million times I enter only when I see at least one other male in similar circumstances. “Alrite mate?” in a deep alpha male voice” So I’m in, I’m really in.. All this underwear it’s too much.. It’s only a matter of time... before…. Some young lady taps you on the shoulder and says “can I help you Sir?” “Yes I’d like some underwear”, I replied. “Well Sir you've come to the right place”. Sarcastic cow!, I think to myself. “Well it’s not for me it for my girlfriend… I mean my wife.. yes my wife”, all flustered. Then there’s short pause which lasts an eternity and you can hear her mind churning away: “You dirty bugger, most likely for the girlfriend..or worse yourself.. your poor wife nagnagnag”. Anyway, after expressing what I would like .. i then mentioned the lingerie , she then asked, “Hold ups or stockings Sir?.. I would have loved to have said “Would you? That would make my day” lol. She told me there’s an offer on stockings at the moment, buy two get third free. “Oh, she only has two legs”, I replied. I got that ‘we have a comedian’ look! Not impressed! Briefs - that's easy.. as their name implies they aren't on for too long.. Go for the cheapest. The most difficult part is the bra, which most of us men make a tit of.. Pun intended! “Well Sir, what's your wife’s (ahmm) measurements?” This is the worst question that a lingerie shop assistant can ask really. You instantly unavoidably look at her breasts with an involuntary reflex. Caught red handed although not literally, you think to yourself, well let me have a feel of yours so I can get the right idea #Fnnrr# but being a gentleman like me, you don’t. The default answer to this question is “DD” of course. The problem is for us guys is that if you buy too small she’ll think you're suggesting she’s overweight.. If you get one too big she’ll think you're suggesting she needs a boob job. Either way you’ll be questioned who’s breasts you’ve had your hands on to get it so wrong in the first place. Fortunately, I went down her draws (no pun intended) making sure I got this right. So I now have a new designer lingerie bag which tells the world of my recent expedition and my least good intentions. TTIUWP – Forget it __________________ I just got lost in thought.. It was very unfamiliar territory. Techie Talk \| My gaming Blog \| PC spec \| The Admirals log

24-06-2009, 16:33	#3
Jonny69 Noob Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Socialist Republik of Kent Posts: 5,032	Poor Huddy I quite like shopping for little naughties as it goes, it's just that I end up going in every shop and coming home without what I went out for, thus ending up feeling like that pervert who hangs around Debenhams knicker department looking at the fat old boilers. Ah wait, I remember my last time: http://www.boat-drinks.co.uk/showthread.php?t=9701 __________________

24-06-2009, 16:35	#4
Streeteh Vodka Martini Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Kingston Posts: 862	Don't do it often tbh (as that stuff cost more than i originally thought!) but when i do it typically doesn't phase me, i guess i've just embraced the fact that i'm a big pervert so may as well have a laugh. __________________ PSN & Live! ID: Streeteh

24-06-2009, 16:59	#5
Muban Shoes, Boobs & Corsets Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: The fastest town in Scotland Posts: 1,882	Of course boys should be allowed to go underwear shopping! There is only one thing better than getting yourself some lovely new undies and that's when someone else buys them for you If someone would like to purchase me the corset/short combo from the Fauve Carlotta range in red I'll not complain My favourite clothes items to buy are corsets/undies heels and coats makes you wonder what I get dressed in every day lol Aaaah the wonderful adventures of Huddy I shall never tire of them, loves ya __________________ well, not to put a too fine point to it, he was discovered.. in the lounge

24-06-2009, 17:31	#6
Joe 90 Absinthe Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Chester Posts: 2,345	The first thing you should of done on entering the shop was to head straight to the staff and ask for assistance, go straight in with "I'm after something for the Mrs" - that's gonna sort out any issues you created for yourself by trying to go it alone. It's probably the only situation where a man should ask for assistance. I'm not looking forward to September (again) beginning of the academic year, and the biggest sports social of the year; Cheerleader night. AKA dressing up like sluts (not wearing a whole lot!). Which starts out with a rather interesting trip around the lingerie section of Primark and amusing the staff a whole lot. Rather tough finding stuff to fit a bunch of American Football players! __________________ 360 Blog \| Join GiffGaff \| Twitter

24-06-2009, 16:18	#2
Roberta Pole Model Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,986	I knew with that title it would be a good 'un. Thread delivers!

24-06-2009, 19:35	#7
petemc Moonshine Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Nr Liverpewl Posts: 4,371	God I do hope you goto Ann Summers one day __________________ Thats no hamster, its a space station!

24-06-2009, 19:41	#8
Dazzy_G Long Island Iced Tea Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Thurrock, Essex Posts: 103	Online shopping! wave of the future Vast majority of her wardrobe comes from http://www.rubber-store.com/ __________________