Desmo is a tight A*se!

[Pheebs]

Courtesy of Focus Magazine this month...

Why do some of us break wind with a "pffft" so quiet it's barely audible, while others seem obliged to step on the proverbial duck?

There are a number of factors that can make for noisy flatus (the proper name for a fart's gaseous mixture), including the volume and speed of the escaping gas. Foods that produce a great deal of gas, such as baked beans, cook up flatus that's a lot noisier than that from low-gas foods, such as rice.

Another major contributor is how tight the sphincter muscle in your anus is. Tight sphincters typically produce louder flatus than looser muscles. Vegetarians provide a good example here. The large quantity of indigestible matter (plant figre, aka roughage) in a vegetarian diet often makes their stools larger than those of meat-eaters. This results in a looser sphincter and hence farts that are relatively silent - but deadly.

[Belmit]

step on the proverbial duck?

Hahahahaha!

[iCraig]

So vegetarians have loose arseholes?

[Desmo]

Too right, shows I don't take it up the wrongun

Watch all the men walk around farting as loud as they can now

[Pheebs]

Originally Posted by Desmo

Too right, shows I don't take it up the wrongun

Watch all the men walk around farting as loud as they can now

Oh no! What have I done!

I've created monsters! Fart monsters! Nooooooooo!

[Feek]

So...

If you fart quietly, you've got a loose arse?

I bet Graham Norton's farts are inaudible

[iCraig]

Originally Posted by Feek

So...

If you fart quietly, you've got a loose arse?

I bet Graham Norton's farts are inaudible

Probably like a breeze coming from the channel tunnel.

[Greenlizard0]

Utter lies, my parents have been veggie munchers all their lives and they sit on rocks to warn ships.

Actually they are a bit stingy on hand outs...hmm....

[Admiral Huddy]

I freely expose my wind causing much pollution over Chelmsford. I have never seen my arse though.. only .. *** no better not **

[Joe 90]

what a delightful read