Boat Drinks Top Tips

Jonny69 · 05-08-2009, 14:30

When someone is trying to tell you something in a nightclub, stick your finger in the ear they are yelling into and you'll be able to hear them perfectly.

It's true.

Take it away Boat Drinks, your top tip of the day is...?

Justsomebloke · 05-08-2009, 14:54

Don't tie your shoe laces in a revolving door.

Jingo · 05-08-2009, 15:10

If you find yourself choking on an ice-cube, simply pour a kettle of boiling water down your throat to swiftly disperse the blockage.

Burble · 05-08-2009, 15:19

Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.

Psymonkee · 05-08-2009, 15:23

Never challenge Royal Marines to a drinking competition.

Knipples · 05-08-2009, 15:25

Dont eat yellow snow.

Burble · 05-08-2009, 15:26

Gamblers - For a new gambling opportunity, try sending a £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

iCraig · 05-08-2009, 15:28

To clean your microwave, add tepid water and lemon juice in a bowl and microwave until steaming. Leave to cool and wipe clean. Repeat steaming for stubborn stains.

Knipples · 05-08-2009, 15:32

To remove red wine from a carpet, throw white wine on it.

Pheebs · 06-08-2009, 02:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knipples

To remove red wine from a carpet, throw white wine on it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by iCraig

To remove white wine from a carpet, throw rosé on it.

You guys both forgot the "and then suck the said spot until clean!"

Waste not want not!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitten

Oh... and always make sure that the lamp is between you and the window (not behind you) when masturbating with the curtains closed.

Do you know my neighbour over the road?!

A seriousish one from me - if you're ever feeling pants take some time in the evening or late at night to just go look at the stars by yourself. Nice, slow and deep breaths and look at them stars and remember in your mind you're an absolute miracle to be who and where you are right now, with the ability to think and reason and well. Yeh. You only live once and you're living it right now and nothing else matters. You're lucky and amazing and albeit you could view yourself as potentially an insignificant blimp in the whole universe when looking at such a vast sky, you're unique. There's nothing out there like you... which makes you just as special, if not more special than the awesome sight before you

It's brilliant

05-08-2009, 14:30	#1
Jonny69 Noob Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Socialist Republik of Kent Posts: 5,032	Boat Drinks Top Tips When someone is trying to tell you something in a nightclub, stick your finger in the ear they are yelling into and you'll be able to hear them perfectly. It's true. Take it away Boat Drinks, your top tip of the day is...? __________________

05-08-2009, 14:54	#2
Justsomebloke The Night Worker Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,228	Don't tie your shoe laces in a revolving door. __________________

05-08-2009, 15:10	#3
Jingo Smother me in chocolate and eat flapjacks with it! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: North Somerset Posts: 1,854	If you find yourself choking on an ice-cube, simply pour a kettle of boiling water down your throat to swiftly disperse the blockage. __________________

05-08-2009, 15:23	#5
Psymonkee A cat wearing a wet suit Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: St.Andrews Posts: 2,023	Never challenge Royal Marines to a drinking competition. __________________ Sonisphere FMC Code: 1k949178

05-08-2009, 15:28	#8
iCraig iCustom User Title Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,250	To clean your microwave, add tepid water and lemon juice in a bowl and microwave until steaming. Leave to cool and wipe clean. Repeat steaming for stubborn stains. __________________

05-08-2009, 15:19	#4
Burble Rocket Fuel Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 7,826	Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.

05-08-2009, 15:26	#7
Burble Rocket Fuel Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 7,826	Gamblers - For a new gambling opportunity, try sending a £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.