Look what they did to my language, Ma

[Garp]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/02...emeralization/

It is with heavy hearts that we announce this morning a near-fatal encounter between Reg reader David Talkowski and this pdf from the Institute For Enterprise Architecture Developments, an organisation described as "one of the most important sources of information related to Enterprise Architecture".

David's condition is currently "serious but stable", and experts in the English language expect him to eventually make a full recovery from exposure to the document's treatise on "Symbiotic Ephemeralization" which proposes "a scaleable innovation methodology with substantially linear IP generation and amplification characteristics to replace outmoded lever-based mechanisms".

Be warned: it doesn't get any better. Those of delicate linguistic sensibilities are advised to look away now:

The choice of the term “Symbiotic Ephemeralization” for the principles outlined in this document need some clarification. Clearly some symbiotic contexts are inappropriate; for example the concept of transport symbiosis does not fit the model well from an ideological perspective. It is appropriate to briefly identify the appropriate symbiotic context to ensure that this underlying intent is properly communicated.

Ok, so transport symbiosis doesn't fit the bill. Got a better example?

A most appropriate alignment is found in pollination symbiosis which delivers a mutually beneficial collaborative framework that is distinctly matched in one way, yet highly fragmented from a more abstract perspective. Substantial feats are accomplished at the individual level but results are strongly amplified well beyond individual accomplishments. All this readily occurs as an atomic effort within a deregulated chaotic macro environment, despite key resources being deprived of global communications, collaboration tools and other facilitation mechanisms that would support collaboration on intent and innovation.

Aha, pollination symbiosis - good call. Where's this all leading, though?

Globalisation of the competitive environment brings ever increasing pressures and demands for great near-real-time flexibility so we can safely state that enterprises may relegate static theoretical postulates to their appropriate chapters in the history books. Micro-environmentals are only marginally effective in an age where entire enterprises appear and disappear in the space of a few years.

So this has got something to do with business, then? Pray continue...

The issues of how power is used in a large organisation and the social implications of microenvironmental variables are demonstrably minor targets despite dominant popular views to the contrary. It is well recognised that the arsenal of the surviving employee contains access codes to the unwritten rules and laws of the enterprise which provide ready pathways around well known obstacles – be they executive, managerial, social, procedural, environmental, or indeed any random combination of the foregoing. A couple of years in a high level position at a global bank will surely cure such delusions for life.

That's all well and good, but what about "Symbiotic Ephemeralization"...

Symbiotic Ephemeralization, in the context of this submission, refers to a series of autonomous communities-of-practice that though nodal collaboration channels produce a unique ephemeralization hypercycle.

Yup, gotcha. So how do we move forward on this one?

To create an innovation hypercycle, a pseudo-arbitrary but finite number of Symbiotic Innovation Nodes are created. It is important to note here that the contextual competencies of the Communities of Practice within a SIN are deliberately symbiotic and it should further be noted that there is an absolute requirement for a representative (representative relative to organisational scope) socio-economic and capabilities mix to deliver balanced noetic product that has realistic implementation potential.

So now you know. Suitably enlightened, we're off for an ephemeral symbiotic encounter with that well known balanced product called beer, since large quantities of ale are probably the only effective antidote to a nasty case of the innovation hypercycles. ®
Bootnote

The first person to offer the traditional "can't see what all the fuss is about, makes perfect sense to me" will be obliged to spend an afternoon listening to an El Reg Strategy Boutique brainstorming session. Consider yourselves warned.

My head hurts!

[Mark]

I read the first part and skipped the rest.

Technobabble for the sake of it and nothing more. And you thought the average Geek or manager were bad for that?

[Stan_Lite]

I want an innovation hypercycle, they sound fun

[Kell_ee001]

Originally Posted by Mark

I read the first part and skipped the rest.

Me too

[Garp]

Originally Posted by Mark

I read the first part and skipped the rest.

Technobabble for the sake of it and nothing more. And you thought the average Geek or manager were bad for that?

I managed to drag my way through the article and reached the end without even the tiniest clue what they were talking about. It could have been the reproductive cycle of a banana for all I could see.

[Pumpkinstew]

balanced noetic product that has realistic implementation potential.

I think I had one of these this morning pre-shower and shave.

[Pheebs]

It all reads like my psychology books

It's amazing how they manage to come up with such stooopidly long, unimportant and overcomplicated words for the most simplistic of things... and then combine them with a bunch of useless English pitta patta to create an array of pitiful pants.

A globalization example:

"Whereas regionalization can be defined as interconnectedness between geographically contiguous states as in the case of Europe, one might reasonably expect globalization to involve transcontinental and interregional relations that extend across the globe - for example environmental degradtion or unregulated capitalist relations."

WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT! WHHHHHHHHY!

Bloody politics part of the course was the worse. It hardly surprises me that most politicians are grey! It took me hooouurs to absorb the text... and it was mainly because I was overwhelmed with acronyms and silly pompous wording... which made me bored within the first paragraph.

Utter Parpiness I say! Lets do it the Roy Walker Way and say what you see instead!

[semi-pro waster]

Reading that with the remnants of a hangover is not to be recommended. What in the name of all that is holy is that about? It reads like someone just vomited up the words and arranged them randomly to create the least possible sense.

[Mark]

At least with the globalisation example the topic is obvious. I wouldn't have a clue what the first one is about.

Actually, I can just about understand the globalisation example