I never thought the day would come... - Page 6

Flibster · 21-10-2008, 00:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pheebs

As another little filler to the whole puzzle of above - I am enduring a rather painful time at the moment with.. erm... how to put this nicely... erm... ah screw it... I've got a huge tear up my bum and it's not healing

An "acute" anal fissure if you would that looks like "someone has taken a butter knife and dragged it down the inside of your bum.... twice". Daniel Craig had such a pleasant way of putting these things!

Kevin Smith knows and understands your pain.

He talks about it for quite a long time in his latest dvd... and he caused me pain through laughter.

Pheebs · 21-10-2008, 07:32

Had the op yester and I'M ALIVE!

YAY! So happy I managed to get home last night. I nearly did jumping jacks infront of the nurse to prove I was well enough to go home because my ward was full of (lovely) but VERY smelly old dears (it smelt of poo! Wonderful!). Thank goodness I didn't do jumping jays else I would have probably died.

Op got put off the first surgery list. Boo. I was last on the list so inevitably was shoved on to the afternoon/evening rota. Thus, no Daniel Craig!

Worst part of the day... was having an enema! Having half a bottle of solution sprayed up your arse when you're on a ward minimally hidden by dodgy drapes and then being told to clench and not poo for 10 minutes.... it was wrong! I have never clenched my butt so hard in fear of exploding everywhere. I figured if I read a focus magazine article in full it would be about 10mins and then I could poop on the readily provided commode mere feet away from the patient Margaret (who's met *the* Ian Fleming and had pictures to prove). I think all I managed to gain from the article was "Food... influence... bad... olives... Mediterranean..." and that's about it. I probably survived 5mins max! Doh!

Really unpleasant Not painful... just scary as!

Op wise - Brucey bruce did it. Whilst being put under I managed to tell all the Doctors and Nurses in the room they were beautiful Aren't I nice Luckily I didn't blurt out "HAIRY CHEST!" as Bruce... well I could only just see his handsome face through all the hair he had bursting from his overalls!

After op I woke up with net knickers on \o/ and saw a load of nurses and docs crowded round a computer looking at my AKOF webby! Yay!

Bum felt fine, I was THE HUNGER and went back up - had soup in 1min flat - begged to go home and then Ma turned up with Dodge and I dressed and left. (literally from op theater to home was about an hour! Hoorah!)

Sadly it was waddling to the car that made the pain killers wear off and since I have been in agony and my butts not stopped bleeding! Boo! Not to worry!

What they've done is - CUT OFF MY PILES! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I don't have piles anymore! Hooraaaaaay! And they've scraped the tears all the way down to the thinest new tissue to encourage it to heal quicker. Means it's going to kill like **** when I poo next but I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

More painful than before but am well glad it's done and I am "recovering".

Thank you so so oOSOSOSOsoOSOsooo much for all your kind texts! I started replying but needed to just lie and hold my buttocks instead so sorry if I didn't get back to you!

leowyatt · 21-10-2008, 07:41

Woohoo hope you have a speedy recovery

TinkerBell · 21-10-2008, 07:42

Wooooo Hooooo! At least you are on the mend now, and soooon you will be able to pooop and sing instead of screaming

Trio won't know where her howling buddy has gone!

Desmo · 21-10-2008, 07:48

Glad to hear you're back on the mend

Metalface Mark · 21-10-2008, 12:02

Pics?

bam · 21-10-2008, 13:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalface Mark

Pics?

TTIFWP, seriously.

Jingo · 21-10-2008, 22:25

Yayyyyyyy Pheebs is on the mend!!

I must admit I am suprised at how happy you are to talk about what could be considered an embaressing topic but I'm starting to think you are the Pheeble Dee of Zero Inhibitions!

So glad to hear you've been 'sorted' now although you're about to face a painfull bunch of poo-oooh-oooooh-arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhs!!

I'm sure Lord Pickleton and Trio will spoil you in the meantime!!

Pheebs · 22-10-2008, 08:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by bam

TTIFWP, seriously.

Happy?!!

Ta people and ta James

You become quite complacent about talking about these kind of things when you're experiencing them for months on end

Also it's only my bum! Nothing taboo about that

Today is a bad bad bad bad scary day. Am petrified of pooping. Haven't pooped since the operation and well.. this morning breaking wind caused enough pain and bleeding as it is let alone poop.

Calling the hospital in a minute to beg for some kind of solution.

bam · 22-10-2008, 08:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pheebs

Happy?!!

F was for Fine

But the above is ok I guess, nothing more necessary

Good luck with your pooping action later.

21-10-2008, 07:32	#52
Pheebs Deep Throat Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 6,512	Had the op yester and I'M ALIVE! YAY! So happy I managed to get home last night. I nearly did jumping jacks infront of the nurse to prove I was well enough to go home because my ward was full of (lovely) but VERY smelly old dears (it smelt of poo! Wonderful!). Thank goodness I didn't do jumping jays else I would have probably died. Op got put off the first surgery list. Boo. I was last on the list so inevitably was shoved on to the afternoon/evening rota. Thus, no Daniel Craig! Worst part of the day... was having an enema! Having half a bottle of solution sprayed up your arse when you're on a ward minimally hidden by dodgy drapes and then being told to clench and not poo for 10 minutes.... it was wrong! I have never clenched my butt so hard in fear of exploding everywhere. I figured if I read a focus magazine article in full it would be about 10mins and then I could poop on the readily provided commode mere feet away from the patient Margaret (who's met the Ian Fleming and had pictures to prove). I think all I managed to gain from the article was "Food... influence... bad... olives... Mediterranean..." and that's about it. I probably survived 5mins max! Doh! Really unpleasant Not painful... just scary as! Op wise - Brucey bruce did it. Whilst being put under I managed to tell all the Doctors and Nurses in the room they were beautiful Aren't I nice Luckily I didn't blurt out "HAIRY CHEST!" as Bruce... well I could only just see his handsome face through all the hair he had bursting from his overalls! After op I woke up with net knickers on \o/ and saw a load of nurses and docs crowded round a computer looking at my AKOF webby! Yay! Bum felt fine, I was THE HUNGER and went back up - had soup in 1min flat - begged to go home and then Ma turned up with Dodge and I dressed and left. (literally from op theater to home was about an hour! Hoorah!) Sadly it was waddling to the car that made the pain killers wear off and since I have been in agony and my butts not stopped bleeding! Boo! Not to worry! What they've done is - CUT OFF MY PILES! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I don't have piles anymore! Hooraaaaaay! And they've scraped the tears all the way down to the thinest new tissue to encourage it to heal quicker. Means it's going to kill like **** when I poo next but I'll cross that bridge when it comes. More painful than before but am well glad it's done and I am "recovering". Thank you so so oOSOSOSOsoOSOsooo much for all your kind texts! I started replying but needed to just lie and hold my buttocks instead so sorry if I didn't get back to you! __________________ http://www.spiffingdesigns.co.uk

21-10-2008, 07:41	#53
leowyatt Chef extraordinaire Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Infinite Loop Posts: 11,143	Woohoo hope you have a speedy recovery __________________ "Dr Sheldon Cooper FTW!"

21-10-2008, 07:42	#54
TinkerBell Dirty Spammer Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In the middle! Posts: 2,454	Wooooo Hooooo! At least you are on the mend now, and soooon you will be able to pooop and sing instead of screaming Trio won't know where her howling buddy has gone! __________________

21-10-2008, 07:48	#55
Desmo The Last Airbender Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Pigmopad Posts: 11,915	Glad to hear you're back on the mend __________________

21-10-2008, 12:02	#56
Metalface Mark Long Island Iced Tea Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 240	Pics? __________________

21-10-2008, 22:25	#58
Jingo Smother me in chocolate and eat flapjacks with it! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: North Somerset Posts: 1,854	Yayyyyyyy Pheebs is on the mend!! I must admit I am suprised at how happy you are to talk about what could be considered an embaressing topic but I'm starting to think you are the Pheeble Dee of Zero Inhibitions! So glad to hear you've been 'sorted' now although you're about to face a painfull bunch of poo-oooh-oooooh-arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhs!! I'm sure Lord Pickleton and Trio will spoil you in the meantime!! __________________

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode