Songs you just don't understand

[Jonny69]

Any of the Destiny's Child Christmas songs. I can't think of a worse Christmas than one sung about by them. How their homeboy bought them a BMW and some diamond ring and then beat their bitch ass. And then the other one is about some miserable Christmas in the city, aint no place I'd rather be. I dunno, it's not Christmas as I see it

[Fayshun]

Fairytale of New York, about as Christmassy as Easter Eggs and Simnel Cake

[Feek]

Originally Posted by semi-pro waster

Another one that's been bugging me for a while and I've only just thought of this thread.

Katy Perry - California Gurls

Let's start by glossing over the misspelling because that particular irritation could occupy me for quite a while and move onto the lyrics. "So hot. We'll melt your Popsicle." - ok, I understand it's a euphemism but if I'm understanding the euphemism correctly (and there's no guarantee of that) then why oh why would melting my popsicle be a good thing? I don't claim to speak for all guys here but anyone with a heatsource that could potentially liquefy my manhood is not welcome within a good 5' of that region.

Had you considered that the euphemism can be carried onto the Popsicle itself and may not be melting it completely but just causing it to dribble and drip a little? Then I think that would make more sense and be much more desirable.

[volospian]

Originally Posted by Feek

Had you considered that the euphemism can be carried onto the Popsicle itself and may not be melting it completely but just causing it to dribble and drip a little? Then I think that would make more sense and be much more desirable.

A bit like "The Lemon Song" by Led Zep

"Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg. The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed"

Ooooh, I see what they did there...

[volospian]

Originally Posted by semi-pro waster

It's been a while since I've heard a song that perplexed me but Mike Posner - Cooler Than Me has done it. He spends pretty much the entire song telling us what a completely heinous (a word sadly underused I feel) and self-absorbed bitch this object of his affection is and yet all the while pines after her. If he was singing about how attractive he found her then that would be fair enough but she's apparently got no idea who he is and he has no idea what she is like - he still reckons that he could trick her into going out with him though.

I was discussing this song the other day. How arrogant is he to presume that he is cooler than the other person, to the extent that he gets annoyed with them thinking they are cool, when they cannot possibly be cooler than him, because, whatever they think, he's obviously cooler than they'll ever be...

In my experience, the cooler someone thinks they are, the less cool everybody else thinks they are. So, in this case, he gets annoyed because the other person thinks they're cooler than him, and, simply because he cannot believe it, they probably are...

My advice? Just relax, don't worry about it. You're trying too hard and too hung up on the perceived level of coolness. Just ignore the other person and go with the flow. You'll lighten up and the cool-o-meter will swing back in your favour.

[volospian]

Originally Posted by Will

... as for me as far as I'm concerned they're just words that go nicely together, sometimes they work sometimes they don't. They've got a nice melody/beat it's good fun.

This is very true, just look at some Marc Bolan lyrics...

[casual agent]
Distorted contortionist barely saved his cool
As he rubberised Hannah by the 'lectric school
With the planetary pearl and the magnetic fool
Who were both told and rolled to look alike and welded to a stool

or

[venus loon]
Bent spent, psychedelic mailman's head,
Gorging up my spokes like the ghostly dead
Ally pally angel chewing up my blues,
Well, I'm goin' to see my baby in the afternoon,
Goin' to take my baby on a Venus loon

yyeeeeessssssss, Mr Bolan, it's time to take your medicine...

[semi-pro waster]

Originally Posted by Feek

Had you considered that the euphemism can be carried onto the Popsicle itself and may not be melting it completely but just causing it to dribble and drip a little? Then I think that would make more sense and be much more desirable.

I can't remember if I'd considered that, I suspect you're crediting the songwriters/Ms Perry a little too much but I'll bear it in mind for the future. It wouldn't have made for any sort of rant though if I'd given them the benefit of the doubt.

Originally Posted by volospian

My advice? Just relax, don't worry about it. You're trying too hard and too hung up on the perceived level of coolness. Just ignore the other person and go with the flow. You'll lighten up and the cool-o-meter will swing back in your favour.

I'm not sure whether I'm now confused or entirely in agreement. I think the latter.

[Kitten]

Scissor Sisters. Mad as a box of frogs & utterly fabulous. Bonkers lyrics:

She's My Man

This town was built on muddy stilts
By the lunatic parade
It rains like Revelations
Gonna wash these freaks away
Some girls wanna hold your hand
And some girls like to pray
Well my girl takes her drinks
With dust and rusty razor blades

As I lie between these covers
I wanna tell her that I love it
When she chokes me in the
Backseat of her riverboat 'cause

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

Someday soon, this dank lagoon's
Gonna sink right into hell
They'll hide you from Big Ida
At the Sho' Enough Hotel
The Ladies of the evening's just
A tombstone in your bed
Well my girl eats a wounded preacher
'tween two loaves of bread

I know she's up to something
But how can I run when she's just
Keel-hauled twenty-on to nothing
I'll stay next to the steel coal oven 'cause

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

All you need's just a fist of a tear-stained bunny
When the good ship comes to town
Who said loves a bitch'll sit next to me honey
Because this old boat's gonna run aground
I don't want to be the burden
Or your jealous bastard
I don't wanna be the Tarzan of your next epic disaster

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

She's my man, can't you feel her comin'
She's my man, she's gonna keep you runnin'
She's my man, she's gonna teach you something
She's me, she's my man

[Knipples]

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

WHAT?

[Garp]

Originally Posted by Knipples

WHAT?

*making guesses*
Disposable? Used and abused, and discarded?