Stupid things people say at work - Page 3

Muban · 25-08-2007, 17:39

Some calls you just know are going to be a nightmare from the first sentence:

Me: Good morning, Michelle speaking.
User: I've expired!!

Me: Good morning, Michelle speaking.
User: I can't get the computer to work, but I'm not very computer illiterate you see.

Prerecorded message before connection to the helpdesk: There is currently a problem with SCI Gateway, this is a national fault and is being worked on. We currently have no eta for a fix. We will update this message when we have any further information.
Me: Good Afternoon, Michelle speaking.
User: I can't get onto SCI Gateway, it keeps giving me errors!
Me: There is a national fault on the system, it's being worked on at the moment.
User: Yes I know that, but I need to get on it urgently!

Thankfully I don't have to take calls anymore, only when we have a massive staff shortage.

Garp · 25-08-2007, 21:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muban

Thankfully I don't have to take calls anymore, only when we have a massive staff shortage.

I'm so glad I'm no longer customer facing. Makes things a little less painful, though now I'm faced with the incompetent people in my former department more often

"This stats for this customers website isn't working, where should I start troubleshooting?"
"Have you tried connecting to the box?"
"No, should I?"
"Well it would be a good start...."
"Hmm.. okay, how does it work?"
"If you look around you on the desk you should see a large grey lever arch folder"
"yup"
"Section 5"
"Hmmm.. stats and configuration of xyz platform. Will that tell me how it works on the xyz platform?"

real answer: "Should do"
What I really wanted to say: "No, it's actually detailed schematics for how you can produce your own Apollo 11"

Nutcase · 26-08-2007, 00:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nutcase

My work just rang me up and asked if I wanted to work tonight.

I think that was a pretty stupid question. It's my first day off in ages, leave me alone!!!!

Thety rang once more, and a text.

PISS OFF!!!

Haly · 26-08-2007, 00:39

Ouch

Stan_Lite · 26-08-2007, 04:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nutcase

Thety rang once more, and a text.

PISS OFF!!!

My work phoned me about a week after I got home last time and asked if I could do a couple of weeks on one of the North Sea rigs as they were short.

"Let me see, I'm not long back from 4 weeks on a rig in the scorching heat of the Southern Mediterranean and you want me to work 2 weeks of the 3 1/2 weeks I get at home, hmmmmm............."

NO!!! :****er:

BBx · 13-09-2007, 16:15

I just got this from our website submission form and hate to say it but I lolled

Contact Us Form Submission
The following details have been submitted from the website.
Email Address: xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxx.com
First Name: xxxxxxxxxx
Last Name: xxxxxxxxxx
Comments: Hi,

I have the unfortunate privilege of being a company secretary to xxxxxxx xxxxxx without actually working for you. I receive on average 4-5 calls a day on my company landline number which is 0113 xxxxxxxxx asking to speak to various people within the xxxx xxxxxxx organisation regarding job vacancies advertised on the internet or in newspapers/magazines. Most often your clients dial the wrong number which I can see the reason why as my extension ends in 113 and yours with 133. However, I have frequent calls where the same caller keeps calling back and is adamant that your number is advertised as 0113 xxxxxxxxxx.

Now, I've put up with this regular intrusion for 6-7 years now but I'm sure you can understand my patience is running very thin when I keep getting told that the caller is only dialing the number he/she has been given on an advert.

I run a very busy department and receive many internal and external customer calls otherwise I would have changed by business line number by now.

Can I please ask that you check your adverts and ensure your telephone number is advertised correctly as your number and not mine.

Alternatively, please add me to your payroll and I'll direct your calls to your office without being rude to your clients.

Best Regards

xxxxx xxxxx
Support & Services Manager

Poor guy! Thing is... if its been going on for 7 years why has it taken this long for him to contact us??? He has the number after all!!!

BB x

Blackstar · 13-09-2007, 17:10

I had a guy ask if we sold Timberland boots in GAP, that took me by surprise.

LeperousDust · 13-09-2007, 18:07

I hate people in the workplace who call the internet Google. For christs sake how hard is it to realise thats a frigging website. I'm sick of trying to explain it...

When im troubleshooting over the phone:

Me:"What ISP do you have (trying to work out BB or ADSL)"
Retard:"Oh i'm with Google"
Me;"....Oh"

Really hurts me

BBx · 26-09-2007, 17:17

This just came through on an update on our issue tracker:

Hi Mei Ling,
Could I be a really pain and ask you to label the Friday quiz flyer for
this week as 'Champagnefriday4'
Thank you very much
Lucy

Is she serious!?

I felt like a right pleb replying 'well you can right mouse click on the file and go to rename...' :/ I hate being IT!

BB x

iCraig · 27-09-2007, 20:29

Quote:

I have artwork to go on the website can i have the file details server details to upload please because i need the artwork on before the tradeshow and the tradeshow is on sunday i presume it takes less than 5 days to upload artwork the artwork is small compared to the artwork i had done last year which took over a week can you aknowledge this email before 1pm as that is when i have lunch and for lunch i go out of the office and today i will not be going back to my office computer to check email until tomorrow so can you reply before 1pm which is when i have my lunch ok thank you craig i will see your reply for 1pm i hope ok thanks

25-08-2007, 17:39	#21
Muban Shoes, Boobs & Corsets Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: The fastest town in Scotland Posts: 1,882	Some calls you just know are going to be a nightmare from the first sentence: Me: Good morning, Michelle speaking. User: I've expired!! Me: Good morning, Michelle speaking. User: I can't get the computer to work, but I'm not very computer illiterate you see. Prerecorded message before connection to the helpdesk: There is currently a problem with SCI Gateway, this is a national fault and is being worked on. We currently have no eta for a fix. We will update this message when we have any further information. Me: Good Afternoon, Michelle speaking. User: I can't get onto SCI Gateway, it keeps giving me errors! Me: There is a national fault on the system, it's being worked on at the moment. User: Yes I know that, but I need to get on it urgently! Thankfully I don't have to take calls anymore, only when we have a massive staff shortage. __________________ well, not to put a too fine point to it, he was discovered.. in the lounge

26-08-2007, 00:39	#24
Haly Do you want to hide in my box? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 14,941	Ouch __________________ Halycopter

13-09-2007, 17:10	#27
Blackstar Ambassador of Awesome Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Edinburger Posts: 3,676	I had a guy ask if we sold Timberland boots in GAP, that took me by surprise. __________________ Jim Garrahy's Fudge Kitchen

13-09-2007, 18:07	#28
LeperousDust Bananaman Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Liverpool/Edinburgh Posts: 4,817	I hate people in the workplace who call the internet Google. For christs sake how hard is it to realise thats a frigging website. I'm sick of trying to explain it... When im troubleshooting over the phone: Me:"What ISP do you have (trying to work out BB or ADSL)" Retard:"Oh i'm with Google" Me;"....Oh" Really hurts me __________________

26-09-2007, 17:17	#29
BBx Reverse SuBo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: London Posts: 8,673	This just came through on an update on our issue tracker: Hi Mei Ling, Could I be a really pain and ask you to label the Friday quiz flyer for this week as 'Champagnefriday4' Thank you very much Lucy Is she serious!? I felt like a right pleb replying 'well you can right mouse click on the file and go to rename...' :/ I hate being IT! BB x Last edited by BBx; 26-09-2007 at 17:20.

13-09-2007, 16:15	#26
BBx Reverse SuBo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: London Posts: 8,673	I just got this from our website submission form and hate to say it but I lolled Contact Us Form Submission The following details have been submitted from the website. Email Address: xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxx.com First Name: xxxxxxxxxx Last Name: xxxxxxxxxx Comments: Hi, I have the unfortunate privilege of being a company secretary to xxxxxxx xxxxxx without actually working for you. I receive on average 4-5 calls a day on my company landline number which is 0113 xxxxxxxxx asking to speak to various people within the xxxx xxxxxxx organisation regarding job vacancies advertised on the internet or in newspapers/magazines. Most often your clients dial the wrong number which I can see the reason why as my extension ends in 113 and yours with 133. However, I have frequent calls where the same caller keeps calling back and is adamant that your number is advertised as 0113 xxxxxxxxxx. Now, I've put up with this regular intrusion for 6-7 years now but I'm sure you can understand my patience is running very thin when I keep getting told that the caller is only dialing the number he/she has been given on an advert. I run a very busy department and receive many internal and external customer calls otherwise I would have changed by business line number by now. Can I please ask that you check your adverts and ensure your telephone number is advertised correctly as your number and not mine. Alternatively, please add me to your payroll and I'll direct your calls to your office without being rude to your clients. Best Regards xxxxx xxxxx Support & Services Manager Poor guy! Thing is... if its been going on for 7 years why has it taken this long for him to contact us??? He has the number after all!!! BB x