Don't you hate it when...

[Snuggle Ferret]

I've rung an optician for an appointment to get my Grandmother's eyes tested for a new pair of testicles ... that's what happens when that is what your parents call glasses :-) My Stepmother nearly choked from laughing :s

[Stan_Lite]

Originally Posted by vix

On a similar note, I oten go 'How are you?', get the answer 'Fine, how are you?' and go 'I'm good, thanks, how are you?' :/

I do that too

[SidewinderINC]

Originally Posted by vix

On a similar note, I oten go 'How are you?', get the answer 'Fine, how are you?' and go 'I'm good, thanks, how are you?' :/

I usually just keep going when that happens

[Garp]

Originally Posted by Desmo

I have a habit of saying something like "not too bad" before somebody has even asked how I am :/

We have a NOC engineer who does that.

"Hi it's Sysadmin, Garp speaking"
"Hey it's xxxxx in NOC"
"Oh Hi xxxxx"
"Very good thank you"
...

[Pumpkinstew]

As a Brizzler I often greet people with 'Alright.' To which the response is always 'Alright'. Like the OK signal in diving it's both question and answer in one.

But this doesn't seem to translate well beyond Swindon and I'll end up starting converstaions with.

'Alright'
'Very well thanks. You?'
'Oh fine, fine. Yourself?'
'Er...'

And I did genuinely ring up a man called John Thomas once. I only realised as I said the name out loud and got a fit of the giggles while I was tryng to talk to him. I had to pretend I had another call come in and would ring him back later.

[bledd.]

i said 'good morning' on the phone at 4pm yesterday in work

quickly recovered with "and incase i don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight"

unfortunately, the woman on the phone hadn't seen The Truman Show, but she was laughing anyway (with me?)

[Feek]

Alright as a greeting isn't just a Bristol thing.

[semi-pro waster]

Originally Posted by Feek

Alright as a greeting isn't just a Bristol thing.

Often with a slight raise of the head as an acknowledgement up here. It doesn't require any response other than an "alright" in return, if I want to know how you're doing it'll be "alright, how's it going?".

Having worked in a call centre for a while I used to greet people with the wrong time of day every so often, if they notice and correct you or you correct yourself rather obviously it can often make the call much more pleasant as you've just moved beyond an impersonal business call to something where you've both had a bit of a laugh.

[iCraig]

"Well, it depends how fart you'd..."

"... how far you'd wamp ..."

"It DEPENDS on how FAR you'd want to push the system"

*bloke on the phone is in tears of laughter*

[Gnat]

On phone to parents:

mum "have you seen your aunty recently?"
me "yes, she has gone on holiday now though"
mum "oh where to?"
me "sellafield"
mum "erm..... do you mean centreparcs?"(plus explanation of what sellafield actually is)
me "oh. oops"