Funny headlines!

Knipples · 12-08-2009, 10:38

Ok so forgive me for being childish, but I saw this today and didnt stop laughing for quite a few minutes.

Its relating to the chart position of his single release this week, but is still hilarious. The headline reads

"Peter Andre 'nearly has a number two'"

Thought I would start this thread so we could put other gems that the press come up with

Burble · 12-08-2009, 10:48

From what I've heard of his music I'd say most of it is worthy of a number two.

Briggykins · 12-08-2009, 11:01

My favourite has always been "Stolen painting found by tree". Makes me crack up now even thinking about it. Not sure why, it's not even that funny

There are loads of these, must find more.

Pickers · 12-08-2009, 12:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Briggykins

My favourite has always been "Stolen painting found by tree".

Clare may have snorted out tea.

Kitten · 12-08-2009, 12:41

I could have sworn I started a thread with the same title yonks ago...

had a big list of them in.

Anyway, some of these are great :

http://www.oddee.com/item_96156.aspx

One of my faves will always be one I saw on ceefax many years ago.

"Skeleton found by a man, flying a kite on beachy head."

It's all in the comma position

Kitten · 12-08-2009, 12:46

Found some of the old ones!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree \o/

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing <- one of my favourites!
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Include your Children When Baking Cookies

Briggykins · 12-08-2009, 12:48

K I'm not reading this thread any more. Shouldn't laugh so much in work.

Flibster · 12-08-2009, 14:47

My all time favourite was from the Sun a few years ago.

Two Shags perved my melons!

Glaucus · 12-08-2009, 14:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burble

From what I've heard of his music I'd say most of it is worthy of a number two.

yeah he should just give up and go into hiding. He is so darn annoying.

12-08-2009, 11:01	#3
Briggykins Vodka Martini Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Exeter Posts: 753	My favourite has always been "Stolen painting found by tree". Makes me crack up now even thinking about it. Not sure why, it's not even that funny There are loads of these, must find more. __________________

12-08-2009, 12:41	#5
Kitten Spinky-Spank Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: 668. The Neighbour of the Beast Posts: 11,226	I could have sworn I started a thread with the same title yonks ago... had a big list of them in. Anyway, some of these are great : http://www.oddee.com/item_96156.aspx One of my faves will always be one I saw on ceefax many years ago. "Skeleton found by a man, flying a kite on beachy head." It's all in the comma position __________________ "You only get one life. There's no God, no rules, except for those you accept or create for yourself. Then once it's over... it's over. Dreamless sleep for ever and ever. So why not be happy while you're here?" Nate Fisher

12-08-2009, 12:46	#6
Kitten Spinky-Spank Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: 668. The Neighbour of the Beast Posts: 11,226	Found some of the old ones! Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Farmer Bill Dies in House Iraqi Head Seeks Arms British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Eye Drops off Shelf Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Stolen Painting Found by Tree \o/ Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84 War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Deer Kill 17,000 Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing <- one of my favourites! Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Air Head Fired Steals Clock, Faces Time Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Include your Children When Baking Cookies __________________ "You only get one life. There's no God, no rules, except for those you accept or create for yourself. Then once it's over... it's over. Dreamless sleep for ever and ever. So why not be happy while you're here?" Nate Fisher

12-08-2009, 12:48	#7
Briggykins Vodka Martini Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Exeter Posts: 753	K I'm not reading this thread any more. Shouldn't laugh so much in work. __________________

12-08-2009, 14:47	#8
Flibster Moonshine Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 3,388	My all time favourite was from the Sun a few years ago. Two Shags perved my melons! __________________

12-08-2009, 10:48	#2
Burble Rocket Fuel Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 7,826	From what I've heard of his music I'd say most of it is worthy of a number two.