Apparently this was not an acceptable answer

Del Lardo · 25-01-2011, 16:49

I seem to have got into the habit recently of providing the wrong answers to questions even though in my head they are perfectly acceptable and I'm sure I can't be the only one.

Going through Customs at Heathrow a couple of weeks back after an 11 hour flight back from Vegas.

CUSTOMS MAN: Excuse me sir, do you mind if I look through your bag?
DL: Yes I do.
CUSTOMS MAN: Please follow me sir
leads me to a desk area.
CUSTOMS MAN (to supervisor): This gentleman has just refused me permission to search his bag
DL (interrupting): No I didn't, you asked me if I minded you looking through my bag. I do mind, I've just got off an 11 hour flight, I am exhausted and I want to go home but if you really want to I give you Permission.
CUSTOMS MAN (looking pissed off and confused): You can go sir.

Walking through a shopping center in Cambridge last December I get accosted by a chugger.

CHUGGER: Hello sir, would you like to donate money to xxx charity (I forget)
DL: No thank you.
CHUGGER (taking a side step to block my path and talking in a loud voice) Don't you care about people in the world going hungry?
DL (now also talking in a loud voice): Yes I do (triumphant look crosses chuggers face) which is why I on my way to get my lunch now please get out of my way.
COUPLE WALKING PAST: Snigger

semi-pro waster · 25-01-2011, 19:18

On the first one you're probably lucky he didn't take more of a dislike to you rather than just being confused. For the second you must have had an immense feeling of satisfaction - I find it's the way they stagger themselves like obstacles on a pinball table that irritates, you can skirt a couple if you're so inclined but there's still usually a couple of blockers at the end...

Jingo · 25-01-2011, 19:55

You sound like a right pain in the arse!

Although I completely agree with the chuggers- I don't mind them asking, but to take such an attitude would really aggravate me! I wonder how many of them are donating a percentage of their salary to their charity

BBx · 25-01-2011, 20:46

Nah chuggers get £10 an hour plus prob commission.

A holes! v funny response tho-must remember that one!

BB x

Will · 25-01-2011, 20:46

You sound like me.

Mark · 25-01-2011, 21:57

Chuggers, fair do (though I do engage them if it's a charity I'd support anyway).

Customs man, lucky! They have a habit of getting their own back - usually involving a strip search and some awkward 'probing'

Del Lardo · 25-01-2011, 23:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jingo

You sound like a right pain in the arse!

I'd like to think so

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark

Customs man, lucky! They have a habit of getting their own back - usually involving a strip search and some awkward 'probing'

Well I normally have to pay good money for it so a free probing would have made up for the 11 hour flight

Mondo · 25-01-2011, 23:26

I remember a story from a blog off a photographer when he was going through customs.

Customs: "What is your purpose of your visit sir?"
Photographer: "Shoot people."

Cue lots of explanation ensured.

Darrin · 26-01-2011, 02:00

When I was growing up I lived right on the Canadian/American border. As such I used to cross an international border on average 3-6 times a day.

I remember a friend of the family coming to visit us in his 1971 Volkswagen Beetle. He was from South Africa, so say his parts with the appropriate accent:

Customs : What's in the trunk?
Friend : My motor.

volospian · 26-01-2011, 09:43

When we were coming back from our Alfa roadtrip last year, French customs asked Stuart (who was driving) where we had been. We were pretty shattered, had covered around 2500miles in 5 days, crossed 7 countries (including the UK) and had taken in a few laps of the 'ring, of course, in a knackered Alfa, and had consumed vast quantities of alcohol en route.

Stuart gave the woman customs officer a groggy look and said "ummm.... uhhh.... I dunno.... Geneva?"

This did not impress the very serious (and incidentally rather cute) french customs lady who then ordered us into the garage so they could have a good rummage around the car. They checked under the back seat, they searched Stuart, the searched the boot and our bags, they searched under the drivers seat and in the side pocket of the drivers door. Not once did they ask me to move from the passenger seat, or open the glove box, but still, they seemed happy with their inspection and finally let us go.

We got to the English side and the two girls in customs there were completely different "Wow, where have you been? That sounds ace! What was the 'ring like? I'm suprised this shed made it 'round... How long have did it take you? What was Milan like?" and so on. They were flirting so much... Shame we had a train to catch!

25-01-2011, 16:49	#1
Del Lardo Absinthe Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cambridge Posts: 2,539	Apparently this was not an acceptable answer I seem to have got into the habit recently of providing the wrong answers to questions even though in my head they are perfectly acceptable and I'm sure I can't be the only one. Going through Customs at Heathrow a couple of weeks back after an 11 hour flight back from Vegas. CUSTOMS MAN: Excuse me sir, do you mind if I look through your bag? DL: Yes I do. CUSTOMS MAN: Please follow me sir leads me to a desk area. CUSTOMS MAN (to supervisor): This gentleman has just refused me permission to search his bag DL (interrupting): No I didn't, you asked me if I minded you looking through my bag. I do mind, I've just got off an 11 hour flight, I am exhausted and I want to go home but if you really want to I give you Permission. CUSTOMS MAN (looking pissed off and confused): You can go sir. Walking through a shopping center in Cambridge last December I get accosted by a chugger. CHUGGER: Hello sir, would you like to donate money to xxx charity (I forget) DL: No thank you. CHUGGER (taking a side step to block my path and talking in a loud voice) Don't you care about people in the world going hungry? DL (now also talking in a loud voice): Yes I do (triumphant look crosses chuggers face) which is why I on my way to get my lunch now please get out of my way. COUPLE WALKING PAST: Snigger

25-01-2011, 19:18	#2
semi-pro waster Provider of sensible advice about homosexuals Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: London Posts: 2,615	On the first one you're probably lucky he didn't take more of a dislike to you rather than just being confused. For the second you must have had an immense feeling of satisfaction - I find it's the way they stagger themselves like obstacles on a pinball table that irritates, you can skirt a couple if you're so inclined but there's still usually a couple of blockers at the end... __________________ "Your friend is the man that knows all about you, and still likes you." - Elbert Hubbard

25-01-2011, 19:55	#3
Jingo Smother me in chocolate and eat flapjacks with it! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: North Somerset Posts: 1,854	You sound like a right pain in the arse! Although I completely agree with the chuggers- I don't mind them asking, but to take such an attitude would really aggravate me! I wonder how many of them are donating a percentage of their salary to their charity __________________

25-01-2011, 20:46	#5
Will BBx woz 'ere :P Join Date: Jan 1970 Posts: 2,147,487,208	You sound like me. __________________ *No No!*

25-01-2011, 23:26	#8
Mondo Absinthe Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,174	I remember a story from a blog off a photographer when he was going through customs. Customs: "What is your purpose of your visit sir?" Photographer: "Shoot people." Cue lots of explanation ensured. __________________ My Website / MSN / Email / Flickr / Blog

25-01-2011, 20:46	#4
BBx Reverse SuBo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: London Posts: 8,673	Nah chuggers get £10 an hour plus prob commission. A holes! v funny response tho-must remember that one! BB x

25-01-2011, 21:57	#6
Mark Screaming Orgasm Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Newbury Posts: 15,194	Chuggers, fair do (though I do engage them if it's a charity I'd support anyway). Customs man, lucky! They have a habit of getting their own back - usually involving a strip search and some awkward 'probing'

26-01-2011, 02:00	#9
Darrin Dirteh Kitteh Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Hiding out in Mormon Country Posts: 1,629	When I was growing up I lived right on the Canadian/American border. As such I used to cross an international border on average 3-6 times a day. I remember a friend of the family coming to visit us in his 1971 Volkswagen Beetle. He was from South Africa, so say his parts with the appropriate accent: Customs : What's in the trunk? Friend : My motor. __________________ A bullet may have your name on it, but shrapnel is addressed "to whom it may concern".

26-01-2011, 09:43	#10
volospian Vodka Martini Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 786	When we were coming back from our Alfa roadtrip last year, French customs asked Stuart (who was driving) where we had been. We were pretty shattered, had covered around 2500miles in 5 days, crossed 7 countries (including the UK) and had taken in a few laps of the 'ring, of course, in a knackered Alfa, and had consumed vast quantities of alcohol en route. Stuart gave the woman customs officer a groggy look and said "ummm.... uhhh.... I dunno.... Geneva?" This did not impress the very serious (and incidentally rather cute) french customs lady who then ordered us into the garage so they could have a good rummage around the car. They checked under the back seat, they searched Stuart, the searched the boot and our bags, they searched under the drivers seat and in the side pocket of the drivers door. Not once did they ask me to move from the passenger seat, or open the glove box, but still, they seemed happy with their inspection and finally let us go. We got to the English side and the two girls in customs there were completely different "Wow, where have you been? That sounds ace! What was the 'ring like? I'm suprised this shed made it 'round... How long have did it take you? What was Milan like?" and so on. They were flirting so much... Shame we had a train to catch!