** Speaking from experience!!! **

[semi-pro waster]

1) Never attempt to cycle while so drunk that you can barely stand up straight, not big and not clever.
2) Never instantly believe mates when they say "oh yeah, that girl definitely fancies you", I'm pretty sure it wasn't malicious but the boy is still a tit.
3) Never get involved in a drinking competition and when the other guy says "that's enough" continue on by yourself just to prove a point AKA "I'm too drunk to have a scooby what is going on".
4) Never assume the same opportunity will come round again or that a better one will.
5) Never giggle like a schoolgirl because you've just heard your girlfriends hips crack while in flagrante delicto. Although you may find it very amusing at the time she probably will not and it does slightly ruin the mood.

Having said that these are things you should never do, I wouldn't recommend them but they've helped make me into who I am today so while I'd try not to repeat them I can't say I'm too upset at having made them.