Apparently this was not an acceptable answer

[Del Lardo]

I seem to have got into the habit recently of providing the wrong answers to questions even though in my head they are perfectly acceptable and I'm sure I can't be the only one.


Going through Customs at Heathrow a couple of weeks back after an 11 hour flight back from Vegas.

CUSTOMS MAN: Excuse me sir, do you mind if I look through your bag?
DL: Yes I do.
CUSTOMS MAN: Please follow me sir
leads me to a desk area.
CUSTOMS MAN (to supervisor): This gentleman has just refused me permission to search his bag
DL (interrupting): No I didn't, you asked me if I minded you looking through my bag. I do mind, I've just got off an 11 hour flight, I am exhausted and I want to go home but if you really want to I give you Permission.
CUSTOMS MAN (looking pissed off and confused): You can go sir.


Walking through a shopping center in Cambridge last December I get accosted by a chugger.

CHUGGER: Hello sir, would you like to donate money to xxx charity (I forget)
DL: No thank you.
CHUGGER (taking a side step to block my path and talking in a loud voice) Don't you care about people in the world going hungry?
DL (now also talking in a loud voice): Yes I do (triumphant look crosses chuggers face) which is why I on my way to get my lunch now please get out of my way.
COUPLE WALKING PAST: Snigger