Debt Collectors Anger

[Pheebs]

My Email to a debt collector... do you think they'll stop bugging me now:

Adam

Sorry to be utterly miffed off at this. I don't know how many times they want to lose cheques and claim they haven't received monies and then state they will be sending debt collectors (a good thing this wasn't part of the conversation this morning. I would have ended up doing a stompy angry dinosaur impression).

Please find attached a screen shot showing you... well. Not much. But I don't like sending my bank stuff online.

CHQ ****** : £160
CHQ ****** : £15

It would turn out that the £160.00 left my account on the ** November 2011 and the £15.00 on the ** December 2011.

It's funny how they blooming well can see £15.00 going out on the ** November... the wrong date for that cheque! I bet they have some secretarial bimbo checking these figures who is far too intent on checking how well polished her nails are in case any of their near-death-old-biddy-style high paying private patients decide to take a fancy to her at reception. That way she can cunningly deceive them into a loving relationship where she can have her name etched into this poor but wealthy elephant skinned old persons will, all in the knowledge that eventually he will receive a million and 3 phone calls stating he "hasn't paid" for his private vital life saving hospital treatment nearly 8 months ago and pop his corks because the annoyance and upset of it is all too much.

I am getting annoyed at being bent over by this stupid hospital bill... they already had the pleasant experience of shoving (what felt like) a 5 foot stick up my butt... why continue to do this to me mentally!?! I understand this must have been a traumatic experience for them venturing into the depths of the unknown but by heck it was more traumatic for me, especially seeing as I was being accompanied by my boyfriend of 3 months and he witnessed the nurse leave the room with a bowl of "something suspicious".

So.

Please. PLEASE can you inform them that they need to sort out this bimbo and get their records straight before they send another unfortunate person to phonecall me and hear the lengthy rantiness of my wrathness.

If there are any problems please do not hesitate to contact me. Please note I will not be held responsible for any broken IT hardware from any spillages or spitting out of tea due to reading the content of this email.

Yours Sincerely

Clare-Who-is-Never-Paying-For-A-Doctor-to-Roger-her-butt-ever-Again.

I am THE stompy dinosaur anger.

I had the unfortunate experience last year of paying to go private due to a concern of on going pains in my side for over 5 months (and the NHS waiting list meant I would have to wait a further 6 months to be seen).

I seriously regret the day though of turning up at the private section of the hospital with all their wonderfully decorative fake flowers and a bimbo of a secretary that's equivalent to an annoying version of Eva-the-receptionist from Grim Fandango.

I am fed up of debt calls and threats of bailiffs... I just want them to BUGGER RIGHT OFF!! ARGhGHGRhghGHHHH