Relationships, love, affairs and gumph

[Pheebs]

Right. I am confused on so many levels it's unbelievable.

I know the world isn't a fairy tale, especially when it comes to relationship, love and romance. I guess that's why I don't have a big heart for romcoms... I think science fiction has more reality in it than many romcoms. But yeh... I try to not let my experiences taint too much of my perspective on peoples relationships but I just sometimes cannot comprehend why people live the lives they do.

Why is it... people stay in relationships despite the fact deep down they're not truly happy? I know it's not easy to break with people and there's a routine and comfort blanket element there but really? How? Why? I just... I couldn't do it. I just want to be happy and I want those around me to be happy too. If I had a partner and I was unhappy with them and felt I couldn't give them all they needed and deserved, I couldn't stay with them. Even if it meant losing everything, I couldn't do it (I say this from experience).

Over the years I have witnessed so many affairs too. So many drunken snogs and people sneaking around. Our office is riddled. It's like a spidersweb of affairs and love triangles. They're messy and yet, so many I have seen (and I hang my head in shame and admit I have even been involved in one myself), it seems that people have a tendency to return to their unhappy lives with partners and what not at the end of the day and remain miserable?

Why???! Why do they do this? Why are they accepted back? Not all the time, obviously, but I would say vast majority do? Are we just a ball-less nation of nimwits?!


For me, life is about living. It's about getting what you can out of it. You only live once. So many people know that and so... why do so many people fall into these routines? Why do they take it as "ah well, it's just how life is?"? Is there such a thing as true love? Do people stay in love - what is love in some respect?

For me. I have little faith in love in the romantic sense any more. I think we can all get caught up in the moment for the first few months, maybe a couple of years if you're lucky and be head over heels for the person you're with... but eventually it will die out and become routine and the same old. I think you can still love them... but rarely romantically. I just... I see it everywhere. I think there's only one couple I know who I would consider to still be in love after 25+ years of marriage. Still whisper things in each others ears which makes the other giggle, still fall into each others arms and don't take a blind bit of notice about anyone else in the room and kiss, still cuddle on the sofa, leave romantic notes, send loving messages, go out together alone and not feel they need the company of others to enjoy themselves, always want to be with one another and share experiences, surprise each other. Of all the people I know, they're the only couple I can think of who are still madly in love. I rarely see romantic love anymore unless it's in the first months or years.

This. This makes me so sad. It really does. I have been burnt a fair few times which I think isn't helping me but just... why!? Why do people live in lives they're unhappy with. And is there such a thing as true romantic love? Or is it more lust? It confuses me how people can be married and don't sleep together. Don't have a good smooch from time to time any more. Don't do romantic intimate things? Am I just a loving huggy person who likes smooches and rudies too much?! Because I just think I would be so unhappy in a relationship with no rudies or physical intimacy. I think it's a vital part of a happy relationship... is it not?!

I don't want to break. I don't want to fall into the trap of being in a relationship that's okay. I want to be swept off my feet and stay swept off my feet!! Am I a dreamer?!

Meh.

I am totally going to be the lonely old lady on my road in a falling down house who eats too many tins of napollena tomatoes and bakes awesome cookies. I can just sense it!