To anyone who's wondered where I've been

Matblack · 29-08-2013, 09:38

Hello All

I've been gone so long you've probably forgotten who I am

Here is a brief summary of the last three years

New child
Horrible work stress/ environment coupled with not being able to be as dedicated at work as I had been
Taking on too much at work
Wife and daughter wonderful
Stress, paranoia, anger
Clinical depression leading to being prescribed Citalopram
Lots of support from family
Tiredness
Isolation
Wife and daughter still wonderful and very tolerant
Very very tired all the time
Unable to operate at work
Generally feeling weird
Decided to move to the seaside
Sold house (ongoing)
Bought house (ongoing)
Parents also moving to seaside
Secured some contract work with the worlds largest educational company which I can do in new location
Wife and daughter still wonderful
Diagnosed with low thyroid
Now being treated for low thyroid which might have a lot to do with the depressive symptoms
Resigned
Started on Levothyroxine today, already feel like I have a lot more energy

Throughout all this has been an increasing tendency to isolate myself from friends and to reduce my online presence. I'm not sure why when what I needed most was people around me, but people who are depressed aren't necessarily rational. Those of you who I have seen will have noticed that I'm a lot quieter and more introspective then I have been in the past and often engage with Amelie if she is there, in an attempt to avoid conversation and eye contact, sorry if you have experienced this it must he hard when someone you think you know changes their personality so completely.

Throughout all this Heather has been great, really supportive despite working very long days and being tired herself. We are both looking forward to moving and bringing up Amelie 300yrds from the beach and in a more relaxed environment.

I'll be doing some part time work and sorting the new house out (it really needs some work!) then ramping up my hours when Amelie goes to school, she's three now and starts in Reception next year!

I really hope that the thyroid treatment will help, I'm already feeling a bit better although this may be a placebo effect from the first dose, we'll see.

Once we've moved and are sorted I'd really like to try and see more of you all and now we'll be able to offer a more interesting place to come than Maidstone!

Depression is weird, a lot of people including a lot of people on here will have far more reasons than me to be unhappy, I have a lot of things that people see as positives in life, a wonderful family, a nice lifestyle and good friends. Why should I have any reason to be depressed?

The answer is I don't know; from what I do know and have read it is less about environment then it is a natural tendency towards a chemical imbalance in the brain. I can trace a lot of the triggers back to work and my job changing and becoming more stressful but many people would have just coped or changed jobs, I didn't I shut down withdrew into myself.

Anyway, I hope you are all well.

MB

29-08-2013, 09:38	#1
Matblack Baby Bore Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Svalbard Posts: 9,770	To anyone who's wondered where I've been Hello All I've been gone so long you've probably forgotten who I am Here is a brief summary of the last three years New child Horrible work stress/ environment coupled with not being able to be as dedicated at work as I had been Taking on too much at work Wife and daughter wonderful Stress, paranoia, anger Clinical depression leading to being prescribed Citalopram Lots of support from family Tiredness Isolation Wife and daughter still wonderful and very tolerant Very very tired all the time Unable to operate at work Generally feeling weird Decided to move to the seaside Sold house (ongoing) Bought house (ongoing) Parents also moving to seaside Secured some contract work with the worlds largest educational company which I can do in new location Wife and daughter still wonderful Diagnosed with low thyroid Now being treated for low thyroid which might have a lot to do with the depressive symptoms Resigned Started on Levothyroxine today, already feel like I have a lot more energy Throughout all this has been an increasing tendency to isolate myself from friends and to reduce my online presence. I'm not sure why when what I needed most was people around me, but people who are depressed aren't necessarily rational. Those of you who I have seen will have noticed that I'm a lot quieter and more introspective then I have been in the past and often engage with Amelie if she is there, in an attempt to avoid conversation and eye contact, sorry if you have experienced this it must he hard when someone you think you know changes their personality so completely. Throughout all this Heather has been great, really supportive despite working very long days and being tired herself. We are both looking forward to moving and bringing up Amelie 300yrds from the beach and in a more relaxed environment. I'll be doing some part time work and sorting the new house out (it really needs some work!) then ramping up my hours when Amelie goes to school, she's three now and starts in Reception next year! I really hope that the thyroid treatment will help, I'm already feeling a bit better although this may be a placebo effect from the first dose, we'll see. Once we've moved and are sorted I'd really like to try and see more of you all and now we'll be able to offer a more interesting place to come than Maidstone! Depression is weird, a lot of people including a lot of people on here will have far more reasons than me to be unhappy, I have a lot of things that people see as positives in life, a wonderful family, a nice lifestyle and good friends. Why should I have any reason to be depressed? The answer is I don't know; from what I do know and have read it is less about environment then it is a natural tendency towards a chemical imbalance in the brain. I can trace a lot of the triggers back to work and my job changing and becoming more stressful but many people would have just coped or changed jobs, I didn't I shut down withdrew into myself. Anyway, I hope you are all well. MB __________________ "we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two"