Gears of War Multiplayer ** Fridays/Saturdays around 8pm **

[Belmit]

Bored at work. Wrote something.

Developer 1: 'OK, this boss. I think it's taken for granted that he should be harder than a Soviet hammer soaked in vinegar.'
Developer 2: 'Agreed. But I don't think that's enough.'
D1: 'You're right. We need to think outside the box on this one. What would be quite annoying for the player at this point in the game?'
D2: [Strokes goatee] 'Hmm, what's been the single most frustrating and pointless part of the game up to this point?'
D1: [Snaps fingers and points] 'Krill!'
D2: 'Genius. He can have a gun that fires Krill!'
D1: 'No, no, no. They'd expect that. How about, and run with me on this... a shield made entirely of Krill that he can send out to annihilate you if you so much as look at a shadow?'
D2: 'Love it. And just to make sure, let's make the dark areas only a shade darker than the light ones.'
D2: [Jumps up]'Yes! And even if you're standing in the light you can still be winged by them!'
D1: [Grins] 'Now we're talking.'
D2: [Wringing hands together like a junky] 'OK, OK, that's quite annoying, but I still think we need to give this guy an edge.
D1: 'Well he has a shield but no weapon...'
D2: 'One word. Chaingun.'
D1: 'Isn't that two words?'
D2: 'It's a 'portmanteau'; taking two or more words or parts of words and splicing them together to give a combined meaning.'
D1: 'Are you sure? I would have thought that a 'compound' was a more appropriate description. Like with 'bagpipes' or 'corkscrew'...'
D2: 'You may well be right. Anyway, I think we need to make this gun particularly devestating.'
D1: '...tablecloth...'
D2: 'Let's make this gun ten times more powerful than any other ballistic weapon we've seen in the game so far.'
D1: 'Great idea. I'm starting to like the difficulty curve we've got going on here.'
D2: 'You mean a plateau followed by a wall?'
D1: 'Precisely.'
D2: 'OK, Maybe we should tip the balance back the other way a little, give the player some hope?'
D1: [Wary] 'O...K... Well they already have a friendly bot to draw fire, surely that's enough?'
D2: 'Yeah, I forgot that. How are the programming team coming on with the A.I.?'
D1: 'It's done. They found an old five-and-three-quarter-inch disk with exactly the code on they were looking for.'
D2: 'Amazing, what are the chances? Presumably they've adapted it from an older game then?'
D1: 'Yes, Lemmings.'
D2: 'Good stuff. So basically the A.I. player...'
D1: 'Runs at the invincible, hard-as-nails, WMD-toting, bat-shielded psychopath firing indiscriminately? Yes.'
D2: 'What about staying in the light to avoid being torn apart?'
D1: 'Disregards it.'
D2: [Nods] 'Nice touch.'
D1: 'To be fair, we have included a shielded gun turret.'
D2: 'I don't like the sound of that. It shields the player from Krill as well?'
D1: 'Haha! Don't be daft!'
D2: 'But still, isn't that a massive advantage?'
D1: 'It's in the dark.'
D2: 'Oooooh momma! They won't like that!'
D1: 'Indeed. That's presuming the bot stays alive long enough to draw fire and allow you to get to it.'
D2: 'Of course.'

[Three hours later]

D2: '...and the gunships can fly around the train taking potshots at you, chipping away at your health so you have to stay in cover longer, allowing the boss guy to get closer to you.'
D1: 'That's another compound.'
D2: 'What is?'
D1: 'Potshots.'
D2: 'Oh yeah. 'Firefight' is another.'
D1: '...deathwish...'
D2: '...dickheads...'
[They high-five]

THE END