Legendary tales from the office.

[Jonny69]

There are always great stories that go round the office about current and previous places of work.

One place couldn't work out why the toilet cistern kept breaking in one cubicle but not the others. They duly kept replacing it and one day maintenance were in working on the suspended ceiling and found a stash of porn mags right above that toilet. An employee had been breaking the cistern when standing on it to reach his collection. Naturally no-one ever owned up

When I worked at McDonalds we weren't allowed to wear watches. The reason given to us was a manager used to wear a watch and it dropped off into one of the fryers. Without thinking, the guy put his hand in the hot fat to grab it and from then on nobody was allowed to wear a watch.

What are your stories from round the office? Note: Doesn't matter if they are completely unbelievable

[BBx]

Originally Posted by Jonny69

When I worked at McDonalds we weren't allowed to wear watches. The reason given to us was a manager used to wear a watch and it dropped off into one of the fryers. Without thinking, the guy put his hand in the hot fat to grab it and from then on nobody was allowed to wear a watch.

OMG!!

The only one I can think of at the moment is our sister company (same floor as me) recruited an administrator, and when she started she kept having various days off etc.

Then she went on holiday to Barbados and one of them got a phonecall for some reason her flight was cancelled and she wouldn't be back till the Tuesday.

So the team called up the airline who she was flying with and there were no reported delays on that day.

When she got back she was asked to bring in her ticket voucher to her meeting with HR.

pwned! She was still in 6mth probabation, so she was easily shown the door.

BB x

[mejinks]

This is true:

Back in the days when the internet was in its infancy and BT decided to get in on the act, we had an administrator who was a bit of a bossy cow and totally guilable, so we went on her machine one day and changed her homepage from btconnect.com to I believe disney.com

She believed that BT.com had been hacked and was frantically phoning all around the offices of BT Net trying to find out who had done it and what could be done about changing it back.

Another story came from a customer at the time who complained that a domain name that had been registered by somebody was similar to his own and he wanted to take control of it. He was not a BT Connect customer, nor the "offending" domain name, why he came through to us is still a mystery.

An irate user once told me that he would rip out all his BT kit and dump it on the pavement outside. My reply was "how am I going to phone you back with a solution?" He hung up.


When I was working for 118UK, we had this old lady, lets call her Doris, used to ring up quite regularly just to talk to someone. As it was usually the quiet shifts, people didn't mind so much. We also had a gentleman in his 70s called Stan who used to do the same. I jokingly said to the team leader that he should give each other their numbers and see what happened. I would like to think they either had a romance or at least speak to each other all the time.

[Belmit]

Back when I worked in the butcher's department of Sainsbury's there were all sorts of tales of people locking each other in the deep freeze and stuff like that. Not sure how many were true but it was all pretty much believable based on the guys that worked there!

Best one I heard was from before I worked there, the meat manager had a stinking cold and couldn't breath through his nose. He only found out about the stinking kipper in his inside jacket pocket when he got home to his thoroughly disgruntled wife.

[Feek]

Originally Posted by Belmit

disgruntled

Great word, I shall try and incorporate it into my vocal usage this afternoon.

[Jonny69]

Dischuffed is another of my favourites

[Kell_ee001]

Murf, Pringle, Si and I were doing a night shift for Bt Broadband. Had a lad who was 15 / 16 called Mark from Grenwich who used to call in all the time, making up error messages and alsorts for no apparent reason. We'd all chatted to him loads as it was a good excuse not to actually work! This one night shift we were really quiet so put him on loud-speaker so we could all chat to him. Suddenly in the background we heard what sounded like a bang on his door, and a woman shouting to hang up the phone and go to bed. Mark started shouting back in a suddenly breathless voice "just 1 more minute mummy! *pant pant* 1 MINUTE!!" We didn't talk to him much after that

And you didn't think a tech desk was "exciting"!

[Admiral Huddy]

I have too many to list!!

I guess the worst one I have is tipping wine over my (then) boss on a works social evening... Didn't go down to well. Good job really, the wine was awful!!



Ohh and I broke the windows on the top floor whan I fell off my chair which went flying into the window.. and I broke the lift where 8 of us where trapped for an hour or so .. :P and.. and .. and ..

[Von Smallhausen]

I walked in an office to see an old sweat I used to work with and was nearing retirement giving him the V's .... shame the DCI was in with him at the time .......... bollocks !

[MarcLister]

Originally Posted by Admiral Huddy

and I broke the lift where 8 of us where trapped for an hour or so .. :P and.. and .. and ..

Public Liability?