Important changes to Ryan Air travel...

[Admiral Huddy]

1. You must now insert £1 for your air mask in the event of an emergency.

2. All woman are to travel naked to make the planes lighter and therefore economical

3. It is mandatory to travel with a cashless card like Barclays Glide so that a payment of £10 can be collected when disembarking on water, say the Hudson

4. Aircraft now only have only one wing.. This guarantees you a return flight in the same trip.

5. Sharp instruments are banned. This means all todgers have to pass the bottle test before being permitted onboard!