Boat Drinks  

Go Back   Boat Drinks > General > General Disruption

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-12-2009, 12:06   #1
Kitten
Spinky-Spank
 
Kitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: 668. The Neighbour of the Beast
Posts: 11,226
Talking Paul Ross - framed canvas

This item is just bizzare in itself (you can buy a canvas print of Paul Ross - Most Haunted presenter??) , but some of the reviews are brilliant.
Hope you enjoy
__________________
"You only get one life. There's no God, no rules, except for those you accept or create for yourself. Then once it's over... it's over. Dreamless sleep for ever and ever. So why not be happy while you're here?" Nate Fisher
Kitten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 12:10   #2
Belmit
The Mouse King of Denmark
 
Belmit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Winchester
Posts: 6,476
Default

Quote:
Don't buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn't stopped crying for a week.


Quote:
My children died recently and, in solace, I hung this in their bedroom. I have now forgotten all about them and can't wait for Christmas.


Edit: The other products they sell are just as bad. Reviews for this one had me in tears:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Canvas-Print...752535&sr=1-22
__________________

Last edited by Belmit; 02-12-2009 at 12:32.
Belmit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 15:26   #3
Wryel
Absinthe
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,148
Default

He should be wearing a wolf t-shirt!
Wryel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-03-2011, 21:33   #4
Blighter
Dubious
 
Blighter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northampton
Posts: 1,571
Default

Quote:
I used to be a very successful insurance salesman at AIG. I had riches beyond belief: Faberge Eggs; Brut Aftershave, also by Faberge; a diamond encrusted Rolex; lime green Lamborghini; monogrammed slippers; a piano shaped toilet that once belonged to Liberace and a 16 ft pyramid of Ferrero Rocher chocolates. Some friends at the country club let me in on this secret that all the old money had canvas printed photos of Paul Ross, so I bought one at auction.

There was something wonderful and majestic about it, some people say the enigmatic smile is a knowing reference to his Merovingian ancestry. It hung for 3 years above the alabaster fireplace in my drawing room, replacing Munch's Scream, which I borrowed from a friend who was also in the insurance business.

But over time there was something unsettling about the picture. At first it sounded like it emitted a high pitched, almost imperceptible, tone, like an old TV set. Then it started whispering things to me. After a while it started telling jokes and then giving me stock tips. Eventually it recommended I invest all my money with a guy called Bernie Madoff.

Now I have nothing, I get high by sucking anti-freeze from car windscreen washers, and even had to take public transport. My only possession is this picture of Paul Ross. It is my love, my life. He completes me.

__________________
Look at your signature, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine.
Sadly, yours isn't mine.
But if you stopped writing about other things and made this your signature, yours could be like mine.
Look down, back up. Where are you?
You're on Boat Drinks, reading the signature your signature could be like.
I'm on a computer.
Blighter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-03-2011, 08:25   #5
volospian
Vodka Martini
 
volospian's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 786
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Belmit View Post
Edit: The other products they sell are just as bad. Reviews for this one had me in tears:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Canvas-Print...752535&sr=1-22
Quote:
This print certainly adds a certain feeling of gravitas to my child's bedroom.

I've knocked a star off as I initially thought that it was a picture of Barry Chuckle.
volospian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-03-2011, 09:41   #6
Belmit
The Mouse King of Denmark
 
Belmit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Winchester
Posts: 6,476
Default

Haha! There's been new reviews since I last looked at the Hitler canvas!

Quote:
Looking for a present to buy for the family member or friend who is a fan of either middle aged Austrians or unusual moustaches? Then look no further.
Or maybe buy it for nostalgic purposes for those that remember the 30's.
Certainly my elderly neighbour Mrs Rosenbaum was moved to tears when I presented her with it.
Not certain where she hangs it up as she hasn't invited me round since.


Edit: It has come to my attention that it is actually part of the most evil monsters in history series and is intended to take its place with the portrait of Paul Ross.
Quote:
...and I especially love the way the Fuhrer's eyes don't follow me around the room. It's almost as if he knows I'm Jewish.
__________________
Belmit is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 13:06.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.