Jokes In Here!

[BBx]

Pebs - this one is for you.

Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and
told her mother.


"Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"


Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It
reminded me of a peanut"


Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small was
it?"


Sally replied, "No...salty!"

BB x

[Stan_Lite]

A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink.





The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you, you're off your face!"

[Will]

I actually LOLed at the last 2!

Here are a couple I received today:

Man is walking in london and its raining. He takes shelter in a peek-a-boo sex shop he pays £50 is confronted by three doors. They read blonde, brunette or black. He chooses blonde only to be confronted by more doors reading small tits, medium tits or big tits. He chooses the big tits, only to be confronted by yet more doors. They read small ****, large **** or wet ****. He chooses wet **** finds himself back in the rain

and

Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom and sees his dad giving his mum one, his dad just laughs, throws a pillow at him and shouts 'get out'! A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's room, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran - Johnny just looks at him and says 'not so ****ing funny when it's your mum is it?'

Oh another:

Two men are in a pub 1 says to the other. "If I got you drunk & went home to your house, ****ed your wife got her pregnant, & she had a baby, Would that make us related?" The 2nd guy thinks for a while & says "No but it would make us even!"

They made me giggle.

[Roberta]

General Custer was standing atop a hill during the Battle of Little Bighorn as the fighting was about to commence. Turning to the little geordie soldier beside him,
'Listen' he said, 'They have war drums.'
'Why man! The Thievin' b*stards!'

[iCraig]

Introducing the new Renault Mcann. With extra room in the back for kids.


Sorry.

[Fayshun]

A wedding occurred, just outside Cavan in Ireland. To keep tradition going, everyone got pissed and the bride's and groom's families had a storming rage and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the crap out of each other.

The police get called in to break up the fight. The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight continues in the court room until the judge finally brings calm with the use of his hammer, shouting, "Silence in Court."

The court room goes silent and Paddy (the best man) stands up and says, "Judge, I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened."

The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride.

The judge says, "OK."

"Well," said Paddy, "After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song. When all of a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates."

The Judge instantly responded, "Wow! That must have hurt!"

Paddy replies, "HURT! He broke three of my fingers!"

[Fayshun]

Originally Posted by iCraig

Introducing the new Renault Mcann. With extra room in the back for kids.


Sorry.

I have the seat next to you in hell.

I got shown that on a text today and had to leave the desk to retain my professional image through laughing.

[Garp]