** Speaking from experience!!! **

[Stan_Lite]

Never:

Drink a bottle of Southern Comfort in the bath.
Pour petrol in a metal drum full of rubbish and then stand over it while you throw a match in it.
Have sex with your mother's best friend.
Drink and drive.
Marry a lying slut.

[Admiral Huddy]

Originally Posted by Bigstan

Have sex with your mother's best friend.
.

yew!! haha please expand!!

[Matblack]

Originally Posted by Admiral Huddy

yew!! haha please expand!!

I did, I don't recomend it, see number my number 4

MB

[Gnat]

Never:

1) assume that "older men" = "more sensible men"
2) guess what "golf ball size" is, when making cookies.
3) see a magazine article about fringes, decide that you absolutely must have one right now.. find that the hair dressers has no appointments for the same day, and think "how hard can it be really?"....
4) think of IKEA when deciding somewhere to go to spend a few hours, unless you actually want to argue.
5)Start filling in a list that has 5 spaces, when you can only think of 4!

[Creature]

Never:

1) Admit that you can get a hairclip in your hair, as you will inevitably asked to prove it.
2) Kick a football that is sat on metal carpet seperators, unless you wish to miss the bottom of your big toe.
3) Say you can do the moonwalk, then fall over whilst doing it.
4) Moan about foreigners....to a foreigner, particularly a Spanish one.
5) Decide to wear a short sleaved t-shirt and jeans due a torrential rain storm.

[Belmit]

Originally Posted by Creature

3) Say you can do the moonwalk, then fall over whilst doing it.

This reminds me of one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Mr. Von Smallhausen moonwalking really badly across the stage at Chicago's in Braintree, while a Michael Jackson video was projected into the screen behind him.

The video was a charity single with images of starving kiddies in Africa.

[petemc]

Originally Posted by Creature

5) Decide to wear a short sleaved t-shirt and jeans due a torrential rain storm.

I did a similar thing and my shirt became see through. I felt so naked! Had to walk through Chester city center in a soaked shirt well I may as well have not been wearing it. You could see all my chest hairs. Never felt so exposed.

[Dee]

Never:

1. Have a guy friend over for dinner when the other half is away working, because when he comes home early, he will only assume one thing

2. Tell schoolfriends embarrassing stories, because 10 years later at the reunion, they *will* remember

3. Fool around with anyone you work with at a Christmas party

4. Let your other half loose when he is hell bent on buying speakers

5. Go into the Gents in a nightclub. It can only lead to one of two things, neither of which you wanna remember the next day

[loki]

Never

1. Leave your wallet in the womens toilets on the motorway service station.

2. Drink a bottle of JD by the pool only to fall asleep till 4.00 in the afternoon in the Ibiza Sun.

3. Get thrown out of your hotel two days before coming home from same Ibiza holiday with no money.

4. Turn off your PC without clearing out Internet Browsing History

5. Kneel down on a pint pot twice

[Pebs]

Never -

1 - Think your children will be able to resist pulling the red emergency chord in a disabled loo while you've got your knickers round your ankles.

2 - NEVER (I cant emphasise this enough!) do a home bikini wax with anything other than bikini strips. You WILL fall in the bath from shock.

3 - When trying to impress someone at work while there is a camera man in the back of the car, do not sit on his pot of melon. And not realise until he asks for it.

4 - Know that at Splash Landings at Alton Towers, when a kid empties half a tonne of water over you from a great height, it will knock your swimming costume straps down. It's best to remember this before you spin around and try to look outraged.

5 - Do not get caught on CCTV trying to get the knickers out of your arse immediately before a fight occurs.

6 (yeah yeah, bite me!) Never say never