Do you know Dave?

Dymetrie · 23-07-2007, 12:42

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"

Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Dave. "My people are from Poland, and I've known the Pope for years."

So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw - you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said. "Who the hell's that on the balcony with Dave?"

Desmo · 23-07-2007, 12:46

Feek · 23-07-2007, 12:48

Everyone knows Dave

Haly · 23-07-2007, 12:50

kaiowas · 23-07-2007, 13:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feek

Everyone knows Dave

Shall we nominate him for membership then?

Daz · 23-07-2007, 13:42

Very good!

Pebs · 23-07-2007, 13:54

Daves my uncle

BBx · 23-07-2007, 13:55

No he ain't heavy he's my brother!

BB x

Pebs · 23-07-2007, 13:59

Does that mean you're my mum?!

Davey_Pitch · 23-07-2007, 14:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaiowas

Shall we nominate him for membership then?

But I'm already here

23-07-2007, 12:42	#1
Dymetrie A large glass of Merlot Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Letchworth with a Lightsaber Posts: 5,819	Do you know Dave? Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!" Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Dave. "My people are from Poland, and I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw - you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said. "Who the hell's that on the balcony with Dave?" __________________ Khef, Ka and Ka-Tet....

23-07-2007, 12:46	#2
Desmo The Last Airbender Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Pigmopad Posts: 11,915	__________________

23-07-2007, 12:48	#3
Feek ex SAS Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: JO01ou Posts: 10,062	Everyone knows Dave __________________

23-07-2007, 12:50	#4
Haly Do you want to hide in my box? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 14,941	__________________ Halycopter

23-07-2007, 13:42	#6
Daz The Stig Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Swad! Posts: 10,713	Very good! __________________ apt-get moo

23-07-2007, 13:54	#7
Pebs Easymouth Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 6,716	Daves my uncle __________________ ...faster you naughty little monkey! Running through hell, heaven can wait!

23-07-2007, 13:55	#8
BBx Reverse SuBo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: London Posts: 8,673	No he ain't heavy he's my brother! BB x

23-07-2007, 13:59	#9
Pebs Easymouth Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 6,716	Does that mean you're my mum?! __________________ ...faster you naughty little monkey! Running through hell, heaven can wait!