Farting in public

PvtPyle · 21-02-2008, 23:05

Horror stories in here please

I know this is kind of a brave thread to start considering I have been a member here for all of 4 days, but nevertheless..!

Today I was queueing up patiently at my local Three Cooks bakery to buy myself something fattening manufactured from pastry, bread and pig's hooves and ears and stuff, when to my shock a wee tremor in my belly lead to a silent but violent evacuation of my central gas chambers. Luckily I was at the back of the queue and closest to the door, but I could have sworn I saw one of the patrons who left before me sort of wince in pain...

Tell me I am not alone!!

BBx · 21-02-2008, 23:34

Farting is wrong - ask Desmo

BB x

Lomster · 21-02-2008, 23:45

When pregnant the baby pushes down so hard that they sneak out and when they did i just looked at Fayshun as if it was him bwuahahaha

LeperousDust · 21-02-2008, 23:46

Meh, i just get on with it

Can be a tad embarrassing if it stinks to high hell which usually when i'm farting is the case, or if it makes a load of noise (or both!) but otherwise i don't think it matters at all

Justsomebloke · 22-02-2008, 00:33

It's a strange dilmma. On the one hand you want it to be silent but on the other you know that silent is Deadly & they will stink.
Double jeopardy, Do a loud one with no smell but be heard or Slip one out & let the smell shout

I like to drop silent smelly ones if i can manage it & then try not to giggle to much & give the game away that it's me. If there are kids i know about then i jump on them & just let rip pressed against there head or summit

It's a right of passage that i cannot let pass

Just squeezed a nice one out there

I've even given mine names like the triple Flutter Blast or the Volcano or the Ladys fave The Bubble

divine · 22-02-2008, 00:40

If it's silent it's all, just don't act like nothing at all has happened else it'll be obvious it way you. Display mild discomfort but don't overdo it.

If you manage to make a noise rivalling the foghorn off the queen mary, well, there isn't a lot you can do in such a situation really.

Chuckles · 22-02-2008, 01:11

Girl A let one go when some bloke was going down on her apparantly

Most embarrassing thing of her like apparantly

After a night on the booze I let a silent one go in a meeting with the IT director, the Finance Director and the Managing director. No sound but I'm sure they all smelt it.

loki · 22-02-2008, 01:43

Pyle you have it all wrong, Public farting is nothing to fear, it is to be embraced. You can have so much fun with it.

For example a good game of drop the fart is a good starter for 10. Best enjoyed near two lovebirds and you just walk by and let a wee air biscuit out. They both have that look on their face of "Did you do that" but are too shy to say anything. This works well when people are arguing as it is literally adding fuel to the flames as the lady usually is disgusted when their respective partner dares drop one when they are in deep discussion.

Finally house parties are good for some covert ops. Crowded lifts are always a good one as your leaving.

So much to learn padawaan

Fayshun · 22-02-2008, 02:23

I heartily agree with the mischevious god, Loki!

Stan_Lite · 22-02-2008, 06:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by starscream

After a night on the booze I let a silent one go in a meeting with the IT director, the Finance Director and the Managing director. No sound but I'm sure they all smelt it.

Beer farts 4tw

Loki has it right, the best idea is to be brazen about it. If it's a loud trumpet simply announce "Phew that was a beauty, lucky I didn't follow through.". If it's silent but deadly say, in a casual manner "How long can you guys hold your breath?"

Another one is scratching one's arse in public. Billy Connolly had the right approach for this one - simply announce in a very loud voice "Oh my God, my arse is incredibly itchy, I think I'll scratch it." and everybody will look away.

21-02-2008, 23:05	#1
PvtPyle Sofa Boy Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Wield of the Shire Posts: 701	Farting in public Horror stories in here please I know this is kind of a brave thread to start considering I have been a member here for all of 4 days, but nevertheless..! Today I was queueing up patiently at my local Three Cooks bakery to buy myself something fattening manufactured from pastry, bread and pig's hooves and ears and stuff, when to my shock a wee tremor in my belly lead to a silent but violent evacuation of my central gas chambers. Luckily I was at the back of the queue and closest to the door, but I could have sworn I saw one of the patrons who left before me sort of wince in pain... Tell me I am not alone!!

21-02-2008, 23:45	#3
Lomster Custom Title Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Fay-Lom mansion Posts: 2,787	When pregnant the baby pushes down so hard that they sneak out and when they did i just looked at Fayshun as if it was him bwuahahaha __________________

21-02-2008, 23:46	#4
LeperousDust Bananaman Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Liverpool/Edinburgh Posts: 4,817	Meh, i just get on with it Can be a tad embarrassing if it stinks to high hell which usually when i'm farting is the case, or if it makes a load of noise (or both!) but otherwise i don't think it matters at all __________________

22-02-2008, 00:33	#5
Justsomebloke The Night Worker Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,228	It's a strange dilmma. On the one hand you want it to be silent but on the other you know that silent is Deadly & they will stink. Double jeopardy, Do a loud one with no smell but be heard or Slip one out & let the smell shout I like to drop silent smelly ones if i can manage it & then try not to giggle to much & give the game away that it's me. If there are kids i know about then i jump on them & just let rip pressed against there head or summit It's a right of passage that i cannot let pass Just squeezed a nice one out there I've even given mine names like the triple Flutter Blast or the Volcano or the Ladys fave The Bubble __________________

22-02-2008, 00:40	#6
divine Moonshine Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Southampton Posts: 3,201	If it's silent it's all, just don't act like nothing at all has happened else it'll be obvious it way you. Display mild discomfort but don't overdo it. If you manage to make a noise rivalling the foghorn off the queen mary, well, there isn't a lot you can do in such a situation really. __________________

21-02-2008, 23:34	#2
BBx Reverse SuBo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: London Posts: 8,673	Farting is wrong - ask Desmo BB x

22-02-2008, 01:11	#7
Chuckles '09 sexual conquests: 4.5 Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,075	Girl A let one go when some bloke was going down on her apparantly Most embarrassing thing of her like apparantly After a night on the booze I let a silent one go in a meeting with the IT director, the Finance Director and the Managing director. No sound but I'm sure they all smelt it. __________________

22-02-2008, 01:43	#8
loki Vodka Martini Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 871	Pyle you have it all wrong, Public farting is nothing to fear, it is to be embraced. You can have so much fun with it. For example a good game of drop the fart is a good starter for 10. Best enjoyed near two lovebirds and you just walk by and let a wee air biscuit out. They both have that look on their face of "Did you do that" but are too shy to say anything. This works well when people are arguing as it is literally adding fuel to the flames as the lady usually is disgusted when their respective partner dares drop one when they are in deep discussion. Finally house parties are good for some covert ops. Crowded lifts are always a good one as your leaving. So much to learn padawaan __________________ PC & Console LAN 9th-11th July

22-02-2008, 02:23	#9
Fayshun Rocket Fuel Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Adrift in the Orca Posts: 6,845	I heartily agree with the mischevious god, Loki! __________________ We must move forward not backward, upwards not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling...