Help! This is the only place I can post this

Knipples · 13-04-2008, 09:41

Ok so bear with me first thread ive started and all that, but I would really appreciate peoples advice on a situation ive been dealing with for 6 months now.

I feel safe posting this here because on other forums there are other people I know who post and read my posts, and as far as im aware none of those people are on here.

Getting to my point now!

I was friends with a girl for a couple of years, went to football with her, hung out with her, got drunk with her etc, but she was a very controlling sort of person, wanting to know where I was and who with etc, which really annoyed me, and back in October I finally had enough of her, and told her that I didnt want to be her friend anymore.

Since then I have moved on, made other friends and no longer associate with her at all. She however has become a very bitter person and is bad mouthing me to anyone who will listen. Shes accused me of fraud (which I have proven I am not guilty of this) shes accused me of writing her husband a poison pen letter about affairs she has had (which I did not do) and is basically still bitching about me 6 months later. I keep wanting her to just stop and pack it in and pretend I never existed, but she doesnt seem to be able to do this. I have done my very best to ignore it, but nothing seems to make her stop, I have proof she was still bitching about me to other people last week.

Should I just keep ignoring her and hope she packs it in eventually? I dont really know what else to do. Sorry for ranting, but she visits other forums I go on, including ocuk and then uses things ive posted and twists them to suit what she wants to tell people. For example, she viewed the Feek birthday thread and then went about telling people I was showing my tits off to people (but if she had bothered to read the thread she would have seen the context, and the fact that mine werent the only lady bumps posted!)

Im at a loss as to what to do next really, and so have turned to you for help, sorry for such a long post!

leowyatt · 13-04-2008, 09:46

The main thing to do I'd suggest is to ignore her. No doubt she tells the same people the same stuff over and over again and they will eventually get sick of her.

Does anyone close to you or anyone you consider a friend believe her? I doubt they do so don't worry. People can be very strange and very bitter as you said, you can't really fight fire with fire with them as they'll just twist it to say that it confirms your guilt. Your best bet if you can do it is to continue doing what you are doing. As people get to know you they'll see what she is saying is a bunch of lies.

Knipples · 13-04-2008, 09:53

I think one of the friend we have in common is stirring a bit between us, I dont even mention this ex friend anymore unless he brings her up, and then I just pretend that im not interested and dont want to discuss her, but I hear the odd thing that she can only have heard from him. Stuff not even related to her and me I mean, just general things.
Again though I dont say anything to him because I dont want her to think I care if it gets back to her via him.

leowyatt · 13-04-2008, 09:56

So is her stiring things between you two? Does he tell her stuff you tell him?

Knipples · 13-04-2008, 10:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by leowyatt

So is her stiring things between you two? Does he tell her stuff you tell him?

Yeah but not stuff about mine and hers ex friendship.
Just random stuff I might have done like going out or whatever, its like she still wants to control me in a way by keeping tabs on what im doing.

I almost wish I had written her husband the letter (if it even exists) because at least then I would have something to complain about.

leowyatt · 13-04-2008, 10:35

I agree with Lozza, just explain to him that you don't want to know anything about her. If he does bring anything up remind he what you said that you don't want anything to do with her. Also explain that you don't want her to know anything about your life and if he continues to tell her stuff you'll start to seriously look at your friendship with him (that should scare him into silence

)

lostkat · 13-04-2008, 11:07

Agreed with the above. Just ignore her and make it clear that you're not even interested in the lies she's been spreading about you. She's only doing it to wind you up and she'll get bored eventually.

Justsomebloke · 13-04-2008, 11:33

What you have to remember is when people are like this they are like this & you are not the only person that knows it. Bitchy people don't effect peoples lives because everybody knows they are bitchy so ignores there commetns & takes them with a pinch of salt

On the other hand if you have a nice person & they say something bad then people listen.
Easy a

So don't worry, Everybody knows she is a bitch & nobody takes any bloody notice of her anyway

Ignore her until she gets fed up & moves on to her next victim, The better at ignoring her you are the quicker that will be, As others have said As soon as somebody mentions her then just cut them off telling them that you don't want to be rude but you really are just not interested in anything to do with her/that person.

Muban · 13-04-2008, 11:34

I would say the same as everyone else, just ignore her. If things did get worse there are harrassment laws in place now. Though if you ignore her for long enough I imagine she will get bored, or more often than not people will get bored of her.

Knipples · 13-04-2008, 11:38

Thanks everyone I do appreciate all the advise, like I said though I wish she would just drop it, and ive been ignoring her and the comments I hear 2nd hand for 6 months now, yet shes still at it. I dont want revenge, I just want her to pack it in.

It bothers me that shes talking about me to people who've never met me, or dont know me, and then that these people are forming an opinion about me based on what shes said.

Sorry for whinging.

13-04-2008, 09:41	#1
Knipples nipples lol (o)(o) Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Brissle!!! Posts: 4,947	Help! This is the only place I can post this Ok so bear with me first thread ive started and all that, but I would really appreciate peoples advice on a situation ive been dealing with for 6 months now. I feel safe posting this here because on other forums there are other people I know who post and read my posts, and as far as im aware none of those people are on here. Getting to my point now! I was friends with a girl for a couple of years, went to football with her, hung out with her, got drunk with her etc, but she was a very controlling sort of person, wanting to know where I was and who with etc, which really annoyed me, and back in October I finally had enough of her, and told her that I didnt want to be her friend anymore. Since then I have moved on, made other friends and no longer associate with her at all. She however has become a very bitter person and is bad mouthing me to anyone who will listen. Shes accused me of fraud (which I have proven I am not guilty of this) shes accused me of writing her husband a poison pen letter about affairs she has had (which I did not do) and is basically still bitching about me 6 months later. I keep wanting her to just stop and pack it in and pretend I never existed, but she doesnt seem to be able to do this. I have done my very best to ignore it, but nothing seems to make her stop, I have proof she was still bitching about me to other people last week. Should I just keep ignoring her and hope she packs it in eventually? I dont really know what else to do. Sorry for ranting, but she visits other forums I go on, including ocuk and then uses things ive posted and twists them to suit what she wants to tell people. For example, she viewed the Feek birthday thread and then went about telling people I was showing my tits off to people (but if she had bothered to read the thread she would have seen the context, and the fact that mine werent the only lady bumps posted!) Im at a loss as to what to do next really, and so have turned to you for help, sorry for such a long post!

13-04-2008, 09:46	#2
leowyatt Chef extraordinaire Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Infinite Loop Posts: 11,143	The main thing to do I'd suggest is to ignore her. No doubt she tells the same people the same stuff over and over again and they will eventually get sick of her. Does anyone close to you or anyone you consider a friend believe her? I doubt they do so don't worry. People can be very strange and very bitter as you said, you can't really fight fire with fire with them as they'll just twist it to say that it confirms your guilt. Your best bet if you can do it is to continue doing what you are doing. As people get to know you they'll see what she is saying is a bunch of lies. __________________ "Dr Sheldon Cooper FTW!"

13-04-2008, 09:56	#4
leowyatt Chef extraordinaire Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Infinite Loop Posts: 11,143	So is her stiring things between you two? Does he tell her stuff you tell him? __________________ "Dr Sheldon Cooper FTW!"

13-04-2008, 10:35	#6
leowyatt Chef extraordinaire Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Infinite Loop Posts: 11,143	I agree with Lozza, just explain to him that you don't want to know anything about her. If he does bring anything up remind he what you said that you don't want anything to do with her. Also explain that you don't want her to know anything about your life and if he continues to tell her stuff you'll start to seriously look at your friendship with him (that should scare him into silence ) __________________ "Dr Sheldon Cooper FTW!"

13-04-2008, 11:07	#7
lostkat Good Cat Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 5,550	Agreed with the above. Just ignore her and make it clear that you're not even interested in the lies she's been spreading about you. She's only doing it to wind you up and she'll get bored eventually. __________________ Oooooh Cecil, what have you done?

13-04-2008, 09:53	#3
Knipples nipples lol (o)(o) Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Brissle!!! Posts: 4,947	I think one of the friend we have in common is stirring a bit between us, I dont even mention this ex friend anymore unless he brings her up, and then I just pretend that im not interested and dont want to discuss her, but I hear the odd thing that she can only have heard from him. Stuff not even related to her and me I mean, just general things. Again though I dont say anything to him because I dont want her to think I care if it gets back to her via him.

13-04-2008, 11:33	#8
Justsomebloke The Night Worker Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,228	What you have to remember is when people are like this they are like this & you are not the only person that knows it. Bitchy people don't effect peoples lives because everybody knows they are bitchy so ignores there commetns & takes them with a pinch of salt On the other hand if you have a nice person & they say something bad then people listen. Easy a So don't worry, Everybody knows she is a bitch & nobody takes any bloody notice of her anyway Ignore her until she gets fed up & moves on to her next victim, The better at ignoring her you are the quicker that will be, As others have said As soon as somebody mentions her then just cut them off telling them that you don't want to be rude but you really are just not interested in anything to do with her/that person. __________________

13-04-2008, 11:34	#9
Muban Shoes, Boobs & Corsets Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: The fastest town in Scotland Posts: 1,882	I would say the same as everyone else, just ignore her. If things did get worse there are harrassment laws in place now. Though if you ignore her for long enough I imagine she will get bored, or more often than not people will get bored of her. __________________ well, not to put a too fine point to it, he was discovered.. in the lounge

13-04-2008, 11:38	#10
Knipples nipples lol (o)(o) Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Brissle!!! Posts: 4,947	Thanks everyone I do appreciate all the advise, like I said though I wish she would just drop it, and ive been ignoring her and the comments I hear 2nd hand for 6 months now, yet shes still at it. I dont want revenge, I just want her to pack it in. It bothers me that shes talking about me to people who've never met me, or dont know me, and then that these people are forming an opinion about me based on what shes said. Sorry for whinging.