Vegging out. (possibly nsfw?!)

Pheebs · 03-11-2008, 09:38

So.

I went to Tescos on Halloween to pick up a few bits and bobs.

Chocolates for Trick or Treaters, Salad, Tomatoes, Cucumber, Fish, Cereal and some Condoms.

Normally I'm fairly un-embarrasable but for some reason today I just was all shy about grabbing the latter on my list of things I needed to pick up. This probably was because I wasn't shopping at my normal store so wasn't aware of where everything was.

When I had discovered where the condom section was, there in the way was a lady and her trolley. So. I just figured I would wait patiently until she moved on (she was quite old and looking at vitamin pills).

Lady with Trolley: "Oh I'm sorry dear, am I in your way"
Me: "No not at all!".... *suddenly looks panicy*
Lady with Trolley: "Ok!" *looks at me as if "well why are you still there"*
Me: *runs off elsewhere*

So yeh. I wondered off thinking "WHY did you say NO!!" and think "ahh well I'll go back for them, I'll grab my cereal first.". Cereal is grabbed and so I trot back... where this woman STILL REMAINS!! So I walk past her (she notices me) and pretend to look at the toothpaste... and then the liquid hand soap... (of which I put some into my shopping basket)... and then back to the toothpaste and EVENTUALLY she goes! YAY!

So I tootle over there, grab the condoms I want and wonder off all relieved.

At the checkout the lady behind the till is an ancient looking delicate thing but all smiley and nice:

Me: "Hello!"
Checkout Lady: "Hello there my love! Would you like a hand packing?!"
Me: "No no thank you!"
Checkout Lady: "Pardon?"
Me: *louder* "No thank you, but thank you!"
Checkout Lady: *scans through cereal box* *scans through cucumber* "So dear, do you have any plans for tonight then with it being Halloween and all?!" *scans through chocolate* *scans through condoms*
Me: "No not really - we're planning on staying in tonight! Kind of veg out in front of the TV!"
Checkout Lady: *pauses scanning* "Pardon?!"
Me: *a bit louder* "I think we're going to veg out tonight! Just relax kind of thing"
Checkout Lady: "Did you say 'veg out'?!"
Me: "Yeh! Veg out - relax" *smiles*
Checkout Lady: "Veg out?"*looks confused - double takes the condoms*
Me: "As in... relax... chill out... not do a lot!" *smiles*
Checkout Lady: "OooH my child!! What a funny thing to say! I was quite shocked as I thought you said 'get his veg out'! Hahaha!"
Me: *zomgwtfyouCRAZYWOMAN* *bright red* "Hahaha! No! It's a saying! Oh dear" *looks at people in the queue behind her laughing* *NoOOOOOoOO*

Was so embarrassing. Due to it being busy and noisy she said it really loudly too.

I just wanted the world to open up and gobble me down.

Seriously. That's the last time I'm buying condoms. I think it might be karma from when I was younger and thought it would be hilarious to slip a packet of condoms in an old grannies basket when she wasn't looking in Boots. That'll learn me

leowyatt · 03-11-2008, 09:49

Awesome lady

Tak · 03-11-2008, 09:51

vix · 03-11-2008, 09:51

Hehehe!

My friends a while ago had a thing of trying to buy the most odd combination of things at a supermarket, like for example a marrow, condoms and KY.

I had a friend who worked on the tills, and we'd gone in just to buy condoms once. She said 'buying anything nice?' and then looked down at what we had bought. I don't know who was more embarrased

Tak · 03-11-2008, 09:58

http://xkcd.com/236/

Blackstar · 03-11-2008, 11:45

Bwahahahaaa, my favourite thing to do in work is to ask the guys trying to slyly look at the condoms if they need any help. You've never seen people properly run away until you've done that.

iCraig · 03-11-2008, 12:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackstar

Bwahahahaaa, my favourite thing to do in work is to ask the guys trying to slyly look at the condoms if they need any help. You've never seen people properly run away until you've done that.

My mate had something similiar done to him when browsing the condoms (naturally you do it on the sly) and I had wondered off with my ex. All we heard was a loud "DO YOU HAVE ANY BIGGER CONDOMS AT ALL? THESE ARE ALL FAR TOO SMALL" ... apparently he'd been asked by an assistant if he was going to pluck up the balls to select a pack or just look at them.

Haly · 03-11-2008, 12:02

Bod · 03-11-2008, 12:24

Awwww bless. You shouldn't be embarrassed.

It's sex...You have it....~~I have it~~....I bet even her on the till still gets her grind on once in a while

If I'm ever embarrased, I just think like that and it makes it all less embarrassing.
Same with the naked body, I used to really hate getting changed at the gym, then I thought "so what? It's only a naked body, everyone has got one"

More to the point, did you enjoy getting his veg out?

Desmo · 03-11-2008, 13:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pheebs

Checkout Lady: "OooH my child!! What a funny thing to say! I was quite shocked as I thought you said 'get his veg out'! Hahaha!"

You should have said, "yes, yes I did" and then proceeded to deep throat the cucumber

03-11-2008, 09:38	#1
Pheebs Deep Throat Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 6,512	Vegging out. (possibly nsfw?!) So. I went to Tescos on Halloween to pick up a few bits and bobs. Chocolates for Trick or Treaters, Salad, Tomatoes, Cucumber, Fish, Cereal and some Condoms. Normally I'm fairly un-embarrasable but for some reason today I just was all shy about grabbing the latter on my list of things I needed to pick up. This probably was because I wasn't shopping at my normal store so wasn't aware of where everything was. When I had discovered where the condom section was, there in the way was a lady and her trolley. So. I just figured I would wait patiently until she moved on (she was quite old and looking at vitamin pills). Lady with Trolley: "Oh I'm sorry dear, am I in your way" Me: "No not at all!".... suddenly looks panicy Lady with Trolley: "Ok!" looks at me as if "well why are you still there" Me: runs off elsewhere So yeh. I wondered off thinking "WHY did you say NO!!" and think "ahh well I'll go back for them, I'll grab my cereal first.". Cereal is grabbed and so I trot back... where this woman STILL REMAINS!! So I walk past her (she notices me) and pretend to look at the toothpaste... and then the liquid hand soap... (of which I put some into my shopping basket)... and then back to the toothpaste and EVENTUALLY she goes! YAY! So I tootle over there, grab the condoms I want and wonder off all relieved. At the checkout the lady behind the till is an ancient looking delicate thing but all smiley and nice: Me: "Hello!" Checkout Lady: "Hello there my love! Would you like a hand packing?!" Me: "No no thank you!" Checkout Lady: "Pardon?" Me: louder "No thank you, but thank you!" Checkout Lady: scans through cereal box scans through cucumber "So dear, do you have any plans for tonight then with it being Halloween and all?!" scans through chocolate scans through condoms Me: "No not really - we're planning on staying in tonight! Kind of veg out in front of the TV!" Checkout Lady: pauses scanning "Pardon?!" Me: a bit louder "I think we're going to veg out tonight! Just relax kind of thing" Checkout Lady: "Did you say 'veg out'?!" Me: "Yeh! Veg out - relax" smiles Checkout Lady: "Veg out?"looks confused - double takes the condoms Me: "As in... relax... chill out... not do a lot!" smiles Checkout Lady: "OooH my child!! What a funny thing to say! I was quite shocked as I thought you said 'get his veg out'! Hahaha!" Me: zomgwtfyouCRAZYWOMAN bright red "Hahaha! No! It's a saying! Oh dear" looks at people in the queue behind her laughing NoOOOOOoOO Was so embarrassing. Due to it being busy and noisy she said it really loudly too. I just wanted the world to open up and gobble me down. Seriously. That's the last time I'm buying condoms. I think it might be karma from when I was younger and thought it would be hilarious to slip a packet of condoms in an old grannies basket when she wasn't looking in Boots. That'll learn me __________________ http://www.spiffingdesigns.co.uk

03-11-2008, 09:49	#2
leowyatt Chef extraordinaire Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Infinite Loop Posts: 11,143	Awesome lady __________________ "Dr Sheldon Cooper FTW!"

03-11-2008, 09:51	#3
Tak L'Oréal Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Portsmouth Posts: 9,977	__________________ The look on your face when a toddler rips out your heart and shows it to you? Priceless.... For everything else, there's FWOOSH!

03-11-2008, 09:51	#4
vix Penelope Pitstop Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 4,426	Hehehe! My friends a while ago had a thing of trying to buy the most odd combination of things at a supermarket, like for example a marrow, condoms and KY. I had a friend who worked on the tills, and we'd gone in just to buy condoms once. She said 'buying anything nice?' and then looked down at what we had bought. I don't know who was more embarrased __________________

03-11-2008, 09:58	#5
Tak L'Oréal Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Portsmouth Posts: 9,977	http://xkcd.com/236/ __________________ The look on your face when a toddler rips out your heart and shows it to you? Priceless.... For everything else, there's FWOOSH!

03-11-2008, 11:45	#6
Blackstar Ambassador of Awesome Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Edinburger Posts: 3,676	Bwahahahaaa, my favourite thing to do in work is to ask the guys trying to slyly look at the condoms if they need any help. You've never seen people properly run away until you've done that. __________________ Jim Garrahy's Fudge Kitchen

03-11-2008, 12:02	#8
Haly Do you want to hide in my box? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 14,941	__________________ Halycopter

03-11-2008, 12:24	#9
Bod Columbian Coffee Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Manchester Posts: 55	Awwww bless. You shouldn't be embarrassed. It's sex...You have it....~~I have it~~....I bet even her on the till still gets her grind on once in a while If I'm ever embarrased, I just think like that and it makes it all less embarrassing. Same with the naked body, I used to really hate getting changed at the gym, then I thought "so what? It's only a naked body, everyone has got one" More to the point, did you enjoy getting his veg out?