Who else is happy to be single?

Stan_Lite · 14-02-2010, 09:25

There seems to be a popular belief that single people all get maudlin and sad on Valentine's day and wish they had someone special to share the day with. Contrary to this belief, I am absolutely delighted to be single today. I don't feel the need to be sharing it with someone else and I'm happy that I don't feel forced into being ripped off by card and gift manufacturers.

I like being single. Having been in two long term relationships, I know what it's like from both sides and, on balance, being single wins it for me. I've been single for nearly 15 years now and I've never been happier. It's hard to explain without sounding selfish and self-centred but I like having the freedom to do pretty much what I want, when I want and not have to consider how it affects a partner. Having a flatmate does mean that certain behaviour is restricted in the interests of common decency but, for the most part, I can do whatever I want without having to explain myself. Most importantly, I can be the person I want to be rather than be the person I should be to keep someone else happy.

Sometimes, I just feel like getting up and going for a walk or have a drink or got to my play room and do stuff or just be alone without explanation. No matter how understanding your partner is, they don't always understand when you want to do things like this and feel vexed or hurt if you feel the need to do stuff without them.

I know quite a few of the couples on here personally and know that you're happy as couples and I'm delighted for you all. Thank God everybody doesn't feel the same as me or the country would be very sparsely populated

I'm not against relationships, I'm just not convinced they're the be all and end all as far as I'm concerned.

Also, I'm not saying I will never be in another relationship. For the moment, there is nobody I know who I care enough for to give up my freedom. Who knows though? Maybe she's out there waiting to steal my heart as we speak. I do miss nookie though - sympathy shag anyone?

How about the other singles? Are you all just waiting for the right person or are you, like me, happy how you are? What about the people in relationships? Do you feel you need to be in a relationship to be happy or can you be happy by yourself? I have heard it said that if you can't be happy by yourself, you'll never be truly happy in a relationship.

Ended up typing a bit more than I expected there

Mark · 14-02-2010, 09:54

I find myself broadly in agreement with you Stan, though I've never been in a relationship.

My mum - understandably - seems keen for me to 'find someone' given my problems, and I don't deny that having someone in the household who can drive would be a very good thing as far as I'm concerned. Even more so when the inevitable happens and my mobility starts to suffer (though touch wood that'll be many years hence). However, I consider myself too set in my independent ways and feel like I'd end up in an all take and no give situation, which is untenable as far as relationships are concerned.

In short: If I worried about not having a relationship all the time, I'd be sad, so I don't. Doesn't mean I don't crave companionship however - it can be very lonely here.

Knipples · 14-02-2010, 10:06

Frankly I wouldn't say I was "happy" being single, but it doesn't bother me that much, I would rather be with the right person, than someone for the sake of being with someone.

I just have to hope they come along one day and find me. I hate myself for saying this, but I do have to fight the slight bit of jealousy I have with those people I know who are in great relationships, not because I want their partner, but simply because I want that for myself. I want someone to be like that with me, and feel that way about me, and I do find myself sometimes questioning what's wrong with me.

Was on a couple of dating sites recently, with very little success, so I have given up on them for the time being.

That said, the main thing I do miss is the affection and the sex, but I have never been the one night stand type.

I also will not be in the least bit depressed today, I had two cards, one from my sponsored dog, and the other was from Marchant, am off to the cinema with another single friend, and will not be sad today for a second.

Blighter · 14-02-2010, 10:27

I was in a relationship for just over 2 years (quite long considering I am 19!) and I can say I'm so much happier without a partner.. For the time being anyway.

It means I can focus on other important things, such as work, without having the commitment elsewhere. If I had a partner this new job would be so much harder whatbwith moving away etc.
My new boss told me I'm not allowed to date anyone as my productivity would go too far downhill

plus, I'm looking forward to pancake day to give a damn about valentines :P

Tiggy · 14-02-2010, 10:52

Can I join in? I'm kinda single, kinda not, confusing I know!

Am I happy with my situation? Nope. I'd rather be classed as in a relationship or single. But the thing is I'm really hoping things are going to work out so for the time being I have to stay in limbo.

I know that if I was single, I'd have those moments of 'I need a hug' but I'd want to leave it a while before considering the prospect of anyone else. So I'd be going with the option of being content with being single for the forseeable future.

I can't remember the last time I got a valentines day card. It'd be nice to have someone make the effort and buy and sign a card and maybe make me a cup of tea lol.

I'll be spending the day with my Mum and my children and having a lovely lunch. Perhaps do some baking with the children. There are much worse things that I can think of, all in all I'm going to be having a lovely day, great food and great company!

Blighter · 14-02-2010, 11:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiggy

I can't remember the last time I got a valentines day card. It'd be nice to have someone make the effort and buy and sign a card and maybe make me a cup of tea lol.

I got one from Geri Halliwell when I was 7

Desmo · 14-02-2010, 11:03

I'll be the first of the couples

Funny one for me. Think I've mentioned this before, but Sinead is my one and only girlfriend. I was single up until the age of 29. It was one of those things that just never bothered me, even through my teens and early twenties. And if I had not met Sinead, I'm sure I'd still be happily single today if that was the way my life had gone.

Of course things are very different now. I can't imagine my life without her being around. Even if she goes out of an evening the house just feels a bit empty and quiet and even though I can keep myself entertained, I miss her and it just doesn't seem right that she isn't there.

Kitten · 14-02-2010, 11:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blighter

I got one from Geri Halliwell when I was 7

Wow, Ginger Spice made you a cuppa? Awesome!

_dogma_ · 14-02-2010, 12:08

I'm in a relationship but I don't have to be in one to be happy. I'm self-sufficient and don't really need anybody. I love Iain but I don't need him, I want him

Pebs · 14-02-2010, 12:42

I'm so loooooonely *howls*

it's actually a complete lie

The only thing I
miss sometimes is companionship, someone to gab on to when I get in from work. And nooky. Other than that I'm a happy camper!

14-02-2010, 09:25	#1
Stan_Lite Stan, Stan the FLASHER MAN! Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In bed with your sister Posts: 5,483	Who else is happy to be single? There seems to be a popular belief that single people all get maudlin and sad on Valentine's day and wish they had someone special to share the day with. Contrary to this belief, I am absolutely delighted to be single today. I don't feel the need to be sharing it with someone else and I'm happy that I don't feel forced into being ripped off by card and gift manufacturers. I like being single. Having been in two long term relationships, I know what it's like from both sides and, on balance, being single wins it for me. I've been single for nearly 15 years now and I've never been happier. It's hard to explain without sounding selfish and self-centred but I like having the freedom to do pretty much what I want, when I want and not have to consider how it affects a partner. Having a flatmate does mean that certain behaviour is restricted in the interests of common decency but, for the most part, I can do whatever I want without having to explain myself. Most importantly, I can be the person I want to be rather than be the person I should be to keep someone else happy. Sometimes, I just feel like getting up and going for a walk or have a drink or got to my play room and do stuff or just be alone without explanation. No matter how understanding your partner is, they don't always understand when you want to do things like this and feel vexed or hurt if you feel the need to do stuff without them. I know quite a few of the couples on here personally and know that you're happy as couples and I'm delighted for you all. Thank God everybody doesn't feel the same as me or the country would be very sparsely populated I'm not against relationships, I'm just not convinced they're the be all and end all as far as I'm concerned. Also, I'm not saying I will never be in another relationship. For the moment, there is nobody I know who I care enough for to give up my freedom. Who knows though? Maybe she's out there waiting to steal my heart as we speak. I do miss nookie though - sympathy shag anyone? How about the other singles? Are you all just waiting for the right person or are you, like me, happy how you are? What about the people in relationships? Do you feel you need to be in a relationship to be happy or can you be happy by yourself? I have heard it said that if you can't be happy by yourself, you'll never be truly happy in a relationship. Ended up typing a bit more than I expected there __________________ Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I...

14-02-2010, 09:54	#2
Mark Screaming Orgasm Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Newbury Posts: 15,194	I find myself broadly in agreement with you Stan, though I've never been in a relationship. My mum - understandably - seems keen for me to 'find someone' given my problems, and I don't deny that having someone in the household who can drive would be a very good thing as far as I'm concerned. Even more so when the inevitable happens and my mobility starts to suffer (though touch wood that'll be many years hence). However, I consider myself too set in my independent ways and feel like I'd end up in an all take and no give situation, which is untenable as far as relationships are concerned. In short: If I worried about not having a relationship all the time, I'd be sad, so I don't. Doesn't mean I don't crave companionship however - it can be very lonely here. Last edited by Mark; 14-02-2010 at 09:57.

14-02-2010, 10:27	#4
Blighter Dubious Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Northampton Posts: 1,571	I was in a relationship for just over 2 years (quite long considering I am 19!) and I can say I'm so much happier without a partner.. For the time being anyway. It means I can focus on other important things, such as work, without having the commitment elsewhere. If I had a partner this new job would be so much harder whatbwith moving away etc. My new boss told me I'm not allowed to date anyone as my productivity would go too far downhill plus, I'm looking forward to pancake day to give a damn about valentines :P __________________ Look at your signature, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn't mine. But if you stopped writing about other things and made this your signature, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You're on Boat Drinks, reading the signature your signature could be like. I'm on a computer. My Blog \| More Outdoors \| MSN \| Email \| Call Me Last edited by Blighter; 14-02-2010 at 10:31.

14-02-2010, 10:52	#5
Tiggy Absinthe Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Lincoln Posts: 1,059	Can I join in? I'm kinda single, kinda not, confusing I know! Am I happy with my situation? Nope. I'd rather be classed as in a relationship or single. But the thing is I'm really hoping things are going to work out so for the time being I have to stay in limbo. I know that if I was single, I'd have those moments of 'I need a hug' but I'd want to leave it a while before considering the prospect of anyone else. So I'd be going with the option of being content with being single for the forseeable future. I can't remember the last time I got a valentines day card. It'd be nice to have someone make the effort and buy and sign a card and maybe make me a cup of tea lol. I'll be spending the day with my Mum and my children and having a lovely lunch. Perhaps do some baking with the children. There are much worse things that I can think of, all in all I'm going to be having a lovely day, great food and great company! __________________

14-02-2010, 11:03	#7
Desmo The Last Airbender Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Pigmopad Posts: 11,915	I'll be the first of the couples Funny one for me. Think I've mentioned this before, but Sinead is my one and only girlfriend. I was single up until the age of 29. It was one of those things that just never bothered me, even through my teens and early twenties. And if I had not met Sinead, I'm sure I'd still be happily single today if that was the way my life had gone. Of course things are very different now. I can't imagine my life without her being around. Even if she goes out of an evening the house just feels a bit empty and quiet and even though I can keep myself entertained, I miss her and it just doesn't seem right that she isn't there. __________________

14-02-2010, 12:08	#9
_dogma_ Long Island Iced Tea Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Kirkcaldy, Fife. Posts: 278	I'm in a relationship but I don't have to be in one to be happy. I'm self-sufficient and don't really need anybody. I love Iain but I don't need him, I want him __________________

14-02-2010, 12:42	#10
Pebs Easymouth Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 6,716	I'm so loooooonely howls it's actually a complete lie The only thing I miss sometimes is companionship, someone to gab on to when I get in from work. And nooky. Other than that I'm a happy camper! __________________ ...faster you naughty little monkey! Running through hell, heaven can wait!