One night stands (following a discussion at work!)

IainB · 22-02-2010, 00:26

Ive had 2 goes at posting this, but have never hit 'submit' because...well its a bit of a weird subject.

For some reason everyone at work thinks im a bit of an old dog

but...I suprised them by giving the game away and admitting that, gosh gasp, im a single male who doesnt do one night stands. For me....I like to know someone before, well, you know

Which got me thinking...am I weird? A poll in the office showed that a lot of the people more often than not, thought a one nighter was acceptable?

So...I thought I would open it out to my virtual friends on here...am I (as I think) in the minority, have old fashioned values...or just plain weird?

More to the point....am I really really going to regret posting this!!

Haly · 22-02-2010, 00:28

It's yet to ever appeal to me.

I'd never say never as who knows what the future will bring. But so far it's not my cup of tea

I like to know the person well beforehand.

Princess Griff · 22-02-2010, 00:30

You're not on your own IainB!! I think that too, I've never understood it....you don't know the person - they could be anyone and riddled with anything!

NokkonWud · 22-02-2010, 00:45

It depends, there are a lot of people that I would like to have sex with but not necessarily have a relationship of any sort with, so I would say that I do not disagree with the idea of one night stands, sometimes it's beneficial to both parties to vent frustrations and whatnot.

I would never do it with someone I know in some way or someone I'd want to have a relationship with, nor would I ever do it with anyone else whilst in a relationship with someone.

Goose · 22-02-2010, 00:50

Those that know me know I have a slight problem when it comes to women (I out-run Usain Bolt, as many will attest on previous BD meets) so I'll offer my slightly-skewed perspective.

For me, the only way forward is for someone to speak to me first, or for me to be very, very drunk. Unfortunately, the latter tends to mean one night stands. The times I've woken up guilt and worry-free are few, so no, I don't think it's strange to not like or understand it. And, to be honest, I'd swap a billion (ok, maybe not that many) one nighters to spend the evening with someone I love, and who loves my company.

Mark · 22-02-2010, 01:04

I have a similar problem to Goose, except that I've never got that drunk. I give up at the slightly tipsy stage. Ergo I still haven't.

Goose · 22-02-2010, 01:33

I still have a week in the UK, you never know your luck...

Seriously though, and I know I'm going to sound like an arse for saying this, but I hate the whole concept. When I split with my ex last year, I hit a low whilst working overseas. I got very drunk, let my guard down and had a stack-load of worry for months afterwards (plus some very worrying text messages).

So, I'm against the idea, and think it's unacceptable. I'm not sure any of this sounds like I mean it to sound. I hate that I do it occasionally, I hate that I let myself do it, and I hate that I let myself hit the lows that lower my guard.

Time for me to stop typing.

iCraig · 22-02-2010, 01:37

Very contextual, as with most types of sex tbh. I think as long as it's between 2 (or more, wahey) consenting adults who both know the score, then what happens is up to them and shouldn't be judged. Some people may want to have sex but do not want a relationship, now to me, having a release with a likeminded individual is much better than getting into a relationship just for the sex and stringing some other person along.

Rich_L · 22-02-2010, 01:42

Um

Perfectly acceptable, as long as you don't act like a nob by toying with the other person's emotions. The girls I ended up with knew exactly what they were in for - namely not a long lasting relationship but a bit of fun, there was never any pretence otherwise. Nor did I ever go out 'looking for it', if it happened great, if not I still had a great night regardless. And an absolute adherence to protection of course.

So I have many fun memories and no guilt or worry, lol. It was a fun time that I look back on and chuckle now, don't miss it in the slightest, now its more a case of reeling in girls for my single flatmate

Knipples · 22-02-2010, 08:06

I've never had a one night stand with a a random, come to think of it i've never slept with someone I didnt know for at least a couple of weeks before. Wouldn't condemn anyone that did mind, just for me I couldn't do it (pardon the pun)

That said I have had sex with people, either knowing it was going to come to nothing, and also had sex with people maybe wanting it go somewhere, and it just ended up not going anywhere. I still knew them beforehand.

22-02-2010, 00:26	#1
IainB Long Island Iced Tea Join Date: May 2009 Location: South Beds Baby Posts: 143	One night stands (following a discussion at work!) Ive had 2 goes at posting this, but have never hit 'submit' because...well its a bit of a weird subject. For some reason everyone at work thinks im a bit of an old dog but...I suprised them by giving the game away and admitting that, gosh gasp, im a single male who doesnt do one night stands. For me....I like to know someone before, well, you know Which got me thinking...am I weird? A poll in the office showed that a lot of the people more often than not, thought a one nighter was acceptable? So...I thought I would open it out to my virtual friends on here...am I (as I think) in the minority, have old fashioned values...or just plain weird? More to the point....am I really really going to regret posting this!! __________________ www.imc-racing.co.uk and www.djiainb.co.uk

22-02-2010, 00:28	#2
Haly Do you want to hide in my box? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 14,941	It's yet to ever appeal to me. I'd never say never as who knows what the future will bring. But so far it's not my cup of tea I like to know the person well beforehand. __________________ Halycopter

22-02-2010, 00:30	#3
Princess Griff Buns'o'Steel Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Maison Jingriff in North Somerset Posts: 600	You're not on your own IainB!! I think that too, I've never understood it....you don't know the person - they could be anyone and riddled with anything! __________________

22-02-2010, 00:45	#4
NokkonWud BD Recruitment Officer Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Smogville Posts: 3,880	It depends, there are a lot of people that I would like to have sex with but not necessarily have a relationship of any sort with, so I would say that I do not disagree with the idea of one night stands, sometimes it's beneficial to both parties to vent frustrations and whatnot. I would never do it with someone I know in some way or someone I'd want to have a relationship with, nor would I ever do it with anyone else whilst in a relationship with someone. __________________

22-02-2010, 00:50	#5
Goose The list is long, but distinguished Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Århus, Denmark Posts: 1,643	Those that know me know I have a slight problem when it comes to women (I out-run Usain Bolt, as many will attest on previous BD meets) so I'll offer my slightly-skewed perspective. For me, the only way forward is for someone to speak to me first, or for me to be very, very drunk. Unfortunately, the latter tends to mean one night stands. The times I've woken up guilt and worry-free are few, so no, I don't think it's strange to not like or understand it. And, to be honest, I'd swap a billion (ok, maybe not that many) one nighters to spend the evening with someone I love, and who loves my company. __________________

22-02-2010, 01:04	#6
Mark Screaming Orgasm Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Newbury Posts: 15,194	I have a similar problem to Goose, except that I've never got that drunk. I give up at the slightly tipsy stage. Ergo I still haven't.

22-02-2010, 01:33	#7
Goose The list is long, but distinguished Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Århus, Denmark Posts: 1,643	I still have a week in the UK, you never know your luck... Seriously though, and I know I'm going to sound like an arse for saying this, but I hate the whole concept. When I split with my ex last year, I hit a low whilst working overseas. I got very drunk, let my guard down and had a stack-load of worry for months afterwards (plus some very worrying text messages). So, I'm against the idea, and think it's unacceptable. I'm not sure any of this sounds like I mean it to sound. I hate that I do it occasionally, I hate that I let myself do it, and I hate that I let myself hit the lows that lower my guard. Time for me to stop typing. __________________

22-02-2010, 01:37	#8
iCraig iCustom User Title Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,250	Very contextual, as with most types of sex tbh. I think as long as it's between 2 (or more, wahey) consenting adults who both know the score, then what happens is up to them and shouldn't be judged. Some people may want to have sex but do not want a relationship, now to me, having a release with a likeminded individual is much better than getting into a relationship just for the sex and stringing some other person along. __________________

22-02-2010, 01:42	#9
Rich_L Dr Cocktapuss Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Seven Sizzles Posts: 1,044	Um Perfectly acceptable, as long as you don't act like a nob by toying with the other person's emotions. The girls I ended up with knew exactly what they were in for - namely not a long lasting relationship but a bit of fun, there was never any pretence otherwise. Nor did I ever go out 'looking for it', if it happened great, if not I still had a great night regardless. And an absolute adherence to protection of course. So I have many fun memories and no guilt or worry, lol. It was a fun time that I look back on and chuckle now, don't miss it in the slightest, now its more a case of reeling in girls for my single flatmate __________________