Where have peoples manners gone to ?

[Knipples]

Originally Posted by cleanbluesky/ Reuters

I take it your son is disabled in some way. It's an interesting idea, because I suppose people are always going to stare at people who are different so you've got to deal with it one way or the other.

I don't really know what a good way to handle it is, getting aggressive with people who stare shows your son that its not okay for anyone to think less of him (if that's on their mind) but it seems too defensive - like he has something he needs to defend that others don't. Probably better to get aggressive.

Hes the child I look after, but yes is almost like a son to me as I have looked after him for 10 of his 12 years.

Like I said I have no problem at all with children doing it, and if they come and ask questions we usually chat to them and explain it at a level they can understand based on their age, BUT adults really should know better, ok have a peek at him, but to nearly trip over or walk into something because you have nearly snapped your neck looking at him is just downright rude sorry.

[AboveTheSalt]

Originally Posted by Kitten

I have developed a really bad habit of shouting 'YOU'RE WELCOME!!' if someone walks through a door I'm holding for them without acknowledging me.

... me too, except that I say "My pleasure", hoping that they will catch the ironic touch

[Dee]

If people cant be arsed to move their trollies in Tesco as well, I bloody well move them for them, and normally send them flying in the process.

[Pebs]

I think standards of manners in general have fallen, and this can only be down to parents I think. I'm very strict with the girls and their 'please' and 'thanks you's, if things really seem to start slipping as they invariably do occasionally I become a total manner nazi. I've put dinners in front of them and then 10 seconds later taken them away again lol.

Its a tough one, because if people aren't bought up using manners then they perhaps can't be crticised for not using them. I've been guilty of forgetting to thank drivers too, I bet we all have. Incredibly irritating though!

[SidewinderINC]

Originally Posted by Pebs

I think standards of manners in general have fallen, and this can only be down to parents I think. I'm very strict with the girls and their 'please' and 'thanks you's, if things really seem to start slipping as they invariably do occasionally I become a total manner nazi. I've put dinners in front of them and then 10 seconds later taken them away again lol.

That's the way it needs to be done, no tollerance for bad manners and they'll soon learn good manners

[Knipples]

Originally Posted by Kitten

see, this is slight O/T (but not completely), I have a bit of a problem with this. I have seen so many people who have a disability say that the worst possible thing that someone can do is ignore them - because one of the most infuriating thing about their disability is the feeling of invisibility it gives them.

So if I happen to make eye contact with someone then realise they are disabled, I will smile gently at them (as I would do with most people who I make eye contact with) and purposely NOT look away.

Then I see people on TV talking about how people looking at them makes them uncomfortable and people smiling at them makes them feel patronized and I feel so sad - all people are different obviously, and what one is ok with, another isn't, and I can only do what I feel the best thing to do is - which is be myself, and react the way my mind is telling me to.

I'm not sure that makes any sense (and it's not directed at you Knip, what you're saying is people generally being a bit ignorant, and I understand that having grown up around a severely disabled boy). It's a bit like trying to hold an item above your head in a shop so that the suspicious shop owner doesn't think you're trying to steal it - I try and signal that I'm not treating someone any differently because they have a disability (which in a way means I AM Treating them differently), and because I try to treat everyone the same, disabled or otherwise, that causes problems because everyone's different.

I would rather people smiled at him, and said "hi" rather than just stared, because as you said, then they become a person and not a disability. And also as you said im on about the ignorant ones.

[Desmo]

Originally Posted by Kitten

see, this is slight O/T (but not completely), I have a bit of a problem with this. I have seen so many people who have a disability say that the worst possible thing that someone can do is ignore them - because one of the most infuriating thing about their disability is the feeling of invisibility it gives them.

I do the same. You catch their eye and smile at them and then you start wondering to yourself if you've done the right thing. It's strange really.

[cleanbluesky]

Originally Posted by Knipples

Hes the child I look after, but yes is almost like a son to me as I have looked after him for 10 of his 12 years.

Like I said I have no problem at all with children doing it, and if they come and ask questions we usually chat to them and explain it at a level they can understand based on their age, BUT adults really should know better, ok have a peek at him, but to nearly trip over or walk into something because you have nearly snapped your neck looking at him is just downright rude sorry.

Yeah, there is a difference between looking and staring

[Knipples]

Originally Posted by Kitten

It's not patronising if I do it because i'm a weirdo who smiles at everyone. Growing up around a 'WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT' environment does that to you

Yeah maybe im a bit too sensitive. I guess I just see him when hes upset cos he cant run about playing football in the same way etc, and it bothers me.
Saying that though his mates are fab, and are great at having a go at people staring.

[NokkonWud]

The Americans leave us standing, hell they even class people as ma'am and sir.

I do often feel the only person out there with manners. I've never not held a door open for someone, but it seems no one does for me any more.