Is it stupid to think.............

[Wryel]

Originally Posted by cleanbluesky

The statement still carries an implied assumption. If the question were "Is it possible to change someone's mind over the internet?" then I'd say yes, but it depends on WHY they believe what they believe.

Fair enough.

[PvtPyle]

Originally Posted by cleanbluesky

I use big words naturally, I read a lot. Rumour has it I come across as thinking I am smarter than other people, but I don't think its a case of one person being smarter than the other - I'm educated and I have no desire to hide that fact in order to forge a rapport with people - in short, I am who I am and I would rather be who I am than hide it in caseothers might be offended by that.

Slightly OT: I have frequently been criticised in the workplace for the same thing CBS. Both publicly and behind my back, co-workers have suggested I look down my nose at people and propagate a 'holier than thou' attitude because I am able to express myself in more than two syllables. It pissed me off because I was guilty of nothing besides doing what came naturally to me, and other people felt so self-conscious about their own shortcomings that they deflect that feeling of ill-will on to me.

Fair play for sticking to your guns, I have too and eventually people came to see that it is not an attempt to put others down, it is simply how I choose to communicate.

[Chuckles]

Originally Posted by dirtydog

But it is a loaded question isn't it. Just because MB considers my or CBS's opinions to be prejudiced or based on ignorance etc. doesn't make it the truth

Doesn't make it untrue either

[Lana]

If someone believes something deeply and holds that as a truth in their life, when you say something that is the complete opposite of what they believe they will only cling more strongly to their belief. If you present an idea closer to what they believe, they are more likely to at least consider the idea.

There is a communication theory that related to this called the Cognitive Dissonance theory. It's been around since the 1950's and the basic point is that if you say something that doesn't make sense to a person and conflicts with their core beliefs, they will avoid the idea/communication that is causing the conflict and just completely disregard the information you gave them.

[Lana]

Originally Posted by PvtPyle

Slightly OT: I have frequently been criticised in the workplace for the same thing CBS. Both publicly and behind my back, co-workers have suggested I look down my nose at people and propagate a 'holier than thou' attitude because I am able to express myself in more than two syllables. It pissed me off because I was guilty of nothing besides doing what came naturally to me, and other people felt so self-conscious about their own shortcomings that they deflect that feeling of ill-will on to me.

Fair play for sticking to your guns, I have too and eventually people came to see that it is not an attempt to put others down, it is simply how I choose to communicate.

Personally, I know all the big words too. I am well educated and well read. But relationships and good communication are more important to me than being able to say things using my super vocabulary words.
Wether you are a manager or an entry level employee, I think it is vital to be able to communicate clearly and openly with fellow employees.
If that means altering your speech patterns slightly, I think that is a very small price to pay. Not being able to change your speech makes you appear unwilling to change and out of touch with others.

[Tak]

Originally Posted by PvtPyle

I am able to express myself in more than two syllables

Huh?

[Lana]

Originally Posted by Kitten

^^ imo that's why discussing religion can be so difficult. People are scared to open up to the possibility that they aren't completely right, so ignore questions and facts that question what they believe.

That is so true! That is why it is such a process to share your beliefs with others. They either have to be willing to ask you about it, or they have to know you and know that you are the kind of person they can trust before they will take anything you say seriously.
when I did missionary training, they said there was an XYZ model or something. Basically saying that people shift along a scale of A-Z in what they believe through their lives, A being completely athiestic and Z being accepting religious beliefs as the truth. The people need to go through A-Y before getting to Z, and if you are the lucky person to be there for Z you get to see people make decisions to change their lives!

[Lana]

Originally Posted by Kitten

that's true Lana, but it's also true that people get defensive about their point (which is only natural) but that they also get angry with their own inability to express themselves properly - which then means that they start turning on your choice of phrase or choice of words and blaming you because you can put your point forward better than they can. Doesn't mean my point is better, but I guess it's frustrating to not be able to put that across properly.

On the down side, I find altering the way I speak to people makes me guilty of 'dumbing down' for want of a better phrase and can be incredibly patronising - more so than using the 'big' words in the first place.

It's not so much "dumbing down" as just knowing what context you are in! When I am speaking with someone who doesn't speak English as their native language, I'll slow down and not use slang because I know that makes it easier for them. If I am speaking to the VP of my company, I can use all the big words I want because I know she knows them.
It's all about adaptability to me. I know some people struggle with this (apparantly women take to it more naturally than men? Not sure where I heard that) and I think that trying is what matters.

But that said, I do understand your point. If it isn't natural to you people do notice that, but I think it can change and become easier. I've found that repeating the same words people use back to them is an easy way to do that if you want to try. Not in a repeating after them way, but in a respectful this-is-how-you-said-it-so-thats-how-I'll-say-it-too way.

[Lana]

Originally Posted by Kitten

the thing is, if you believe something - then you listen to something that could question your belief structure, but yet you still believe then the question has STRENGTHENED the faith you have, not weakened it! It flabbers my gast that some people can't see this.

Questioning something might make you think differently or it might make you believe more - it's a risk but if you are confident in your faith (not you, just in general) then it should be looked at as a positive step. I love learning about religion and faith systems and the people who make the biggest impression on me and who are more likely to make me understand what faith is are those who can listen to my questions and try to answer them because they are confident in their belief and aren't threatened by the questions.

Whoops sorry, slightly OT There

This is a cool conversation. I'm enjoying it a lot :-D
The first bit is SO exactly the cognitive dissonance theory. You avoid something that makes you question your beliefs!
And I have found the same thing... I have a good impression of Mormonism and Islam and a bunch of other religions because I met someone who has comfortable enough to answer my questions and not be offended by them.

[semi-pro waster]

Originally Posted by Kitten

On the down side, I find altering the way I speak to people makes me guilty of 'dumbing down' for want of a better phrase and can be incredibly patronising - more so than using the 'big' words in the first place.

I'd have to say it depends how you do it, I alter the language I use to a degree depending on who I'm speaking to and always have done. Most of the time it isn't even a concious action on my part but if I think about what I've just said I can usually tell if I would have phrased it differently in other company or as Lana has just pointed out slowing down when speaking to a foreigner.

Originally Posted by Lana

That is so true! That is why it is such a process to share your beliefs with others. They either have to be willing to ask you about it, or they have to know you and know that you are the kind of person they can trust before they will take anything you say seriously.
when I did missionary training, they said there was an XYZ model or something. Basically saying that people shift along a scale of A-Z in what they believe through their lives, A being completely athiestic and Z being accepting religious beliefs as the truth. The people need to go through A-Y before getting to Z, and if you are the lucky person to be there for Z you get to see people make decisions to change their lives!

And I suppose the converse is true, if you are religious then a belief that there is no deity out there will lead to cognitive dissonance as you try to either ignore this information or alternatively refute it.