Pregnancy... and stuff! - Page 9

Lomster · 15-04-2008, 15:02

Ok so here is Fay and my kids up for bids.

Model 1. 4 year old male. Answers to the names of Joshie monster.
almost house trained (can get beer out of fridge) full of cheek and back chat.
Ignores all comands and carries on doing what he likes.
Favourite colour is pink and likes disney princess stuff.
Complete drama queen and loves to be centre of attention and make people laugh at his jokes and songs.

Model 2. 2yr old female. answers to the name of Georgie or minxy.
Gives people the idea that butter wouldn't melt. Clever madam who will wrap you round her lil finger. She gives you a very cute, cheeky smile when you are telling her off.
Likes cleaning and being a domestic goddess although this will change within a year i am sure.
Be aware of tantrums she bites.

Model 3. almost 7months female answers to the names of Ella Bella.
Noisy happy model full of cheekyness and giggles.
Prone to farting lots and burping.
Not at all house trained and gets quite messy at times.
Has two teeth and is prone to biting your fingers off.
sleeps through night as long as you don't feed her after midnight.

Dee · 15-04-2008, 15:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lomster

Model 1. 4 year old male.

Favourite colour is pink and likes disney princess stuff.

Complete drama queen

Do you have a heterosexual model in stock Lom?

My god, he sounds like Daz

Roberta · 15-04-2008, 15:49

No takers? Bugger. Knew I'd be stuck with them.

Lomster · 15-04-2008, 15:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betty

Do you have a heterosexual model in stock Lom?

My god, he sounds like Daz

ROFL oh god I gotta stop reading this before i give myself a hernia

Fayshun · 15-04-2008, 15:52

Or alternatively,

1) Male, size "Large" 4 y.o. Has been well house trained by father, i.e. can get beer from the fridge. Eats for England, will happily demand food after a meal if someone else is eating. Hates to miss out. Good at gaming, will sit quietly for *hours* playing DS/Wii/Xbox360, has problems when faced with the CBeebies website - asks for help constantly. After quiet periods is prone to outbursts of madness, will bounce off walls, run like Roger Bannister and go temporarily deaf to pleas to calm down/chill out/stop p*ssing about. Sleeps like a teenager, goes to bed late and gets up later. Has a mean right hook and is known to wake daddy up when he's asleep on the sofa by smacking him in the face. Blames all wrong-doing on big-little sister.

2) Female, size "Small" 2 y.o. Not as well house trained, i.e. doesn't know the difference between beer and youghurt although father is currently working on this. Likes pushing dolls in her pram, usually when the floor is knee deep in other toys and will complain bitterly when she gets stuck. Innocent looking but has a devilish streak a mile wide. When in contact with subject number 1, both undergo a transformation into something that resembles Taz out the cartoons in full "whirlwind" mode. Complete with fart and raspberry sounds.

3) Female size "Large" 0.5 y.o. Smiles and dribbles a lot, has recently started to make more sense than her father. Completely useless at fetching beer from the fridge, doesn't even know where the fridge is. Wriggles a lot, getting her changed is like trying to get an octopus into a string shopping bag. Smile has become more dangerous now she has 2 razor sharp teeth. Farts and burps impressively.

Lomster · 15-04-2008, 15:57

Ouch i can't stop laughing and i have loads of tears running down my face omg it hurts.

Lomster · 15-04-2008, 16:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fayshun

Or alternatively,

1) Male, size "Large" 4 y.o. Has been well house trained by father, i.e. can get beer from the fridge. Eats for England, will happily demand food after a meal if someone else is eating. Hates to miss out. Good at gaming, will sit quietly for *hours* playing DS/Wii/Xbox360, has problems when faced with the CBeebies website - asks for help constantly. After quiet periods is prone to outbursts of madness, will bounce off walls, run like Roger Bannister and go temporarily deaf to pleas to calm down/chill out/stop p*ssing about. Sleeps like a teenager, goes to bed late and gets up later. Has a mean right hook and is known to wake daddy up when he's asleep on the sofa by smacking him in the face. Blames all wrong-doing on big-little sister.

You forgot to add that he's obsessed with boobies and shouts boobies when he walks past bras in shops.

vix · 15-04-2008, 18:08

I'll have lot 1 Dawn. I'd love a pet teenager

Tak · 15-04-2008, 20:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lomster

sleeps through night as long as you don't feed her after midnight.

MOGWAI!!!

Roberta · 15-04-2008, 21:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by vix

I'll have lot 1 Dawn. I'd love a pet teenager

Sold!

No returns!

15-04-2008, 15:02	#81
Lomster Custom Title Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Fay-Lom mansion Posts: 2,787	Ok so here is Fay and my kids up for bids. Model 1. 4 year old male. Answers to the names of Joshie monster. almost house trained (can get beer out of fridge) full of cheek and back chat. Ignores all comands and carries on doing what he likes. Favourite colour is pink and likes disney princess stuff. Complete drama queen and loves to be centre of attention and make people laugh at his jokes and songs. Model 2. 2yr old female. answers to the name of Georgie or minxy. Gives people the idea that butter wouldn't melt. Clever madam who will wrap you round her lil finger. She gives you a very cute, cheeky smile when you are telling her off. Likes cleaning and being a domestic goddess although this will change within a year i am sure. Be aware of tantrums she bites. Model 3. almost 7months female answers to the names of Ella Bella. Noisy happy model full of cheekyness and giggles. Prone to farting lots and burping. Not at all house trained and gets quite messy at times. Has two teeth and is prone to biting your fingers off. sleeps through night as long as you don't feed her after midnight. __________________

15-04-2008, 15:52	#85
Fayshun Rocket Fuel Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Adrift in the Orca Posts: 6,845	Or alternatively, 1) Male, size "Large" 4 y.o. Has been well house trained by father, i.e. can get beer from the fridge. Eats for England, will happily demand food after a meal if someone else is eating. Hates to miss out. Good at gaming, will sit quietly for hours playing DS/Wii/Xbox360, has problems when faced with the CBeebies website - asks for help constantly. After quiet periods is prone to outbursts of madness, will bounce off walls, run like Roger Bannister and go temporarily deaf to pleas to calm down/chill out/stop pssing about. Sleeps like a teenager, goes to bed late and gets up later. Has a mean right hook and is known to wake daddy up when he's asleep on the sofa by smacking him in the face. Blames all wrong-doing on big-little sister. 2) Female, size "Small" 2 y.o. Not as well house trained, i.e. doesn't know the difference between beer and youghurt although father is currently working on this. Likes pushing dolls in her pram, usually when the floor is knee deep in other toys and will complain bitterly when she gets stuck. Innocent looking but has a devilish streak a mile wide. When in contact with subject number 1, both undergo a transformation into something that resembles Taz out the cartoons in full "whirlwind" mode. Complete with fart and raspberry sounds. 3) Female size "Large" 0.5 y.o. Smiles and dribbles a lot, has recently started to make more sense than her father. Completely useless at fetching beer from the fridge, doesn't even know where the fridge is. Wriggles a lot, getting her changed is like trying to get an octopus into a string shopping bag. Smile has become more dangerous now she has 2 razor sharp teeth. Farts and burps impressively. __________________ We must move forward not backward, upwards* not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling...

15-04-2008, 15:57	#86
Lomster Custom Title Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Fay-Lom mansion Posts: 2,787	Ouch i can't stop laughing and i have loads of tears running down my face omg it hurts. __________________

15-04-2008, 18:08	#88
vix Penelope Pitstop Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 4,426	I'll have lot 1 Dawn. I'd love a pet teenager __________________

15-04-2008, 15:49	#83
Roberta Pole Model Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,986	No takers? Bugger. Knew I'd be stuck with them.