Viz Letters - Page 4

Belmit · 21-06-2007, 20:31

Love the Immodium one!

On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in
Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've
obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.
Alan J., London

How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million
selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's
football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law
for the rich and another for the poor.
Reg Ashcroft, Bradford

I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David
Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much, but
isn't this taking gloating just a little too far?
Dave Owen, Edinburgh

Belmit · 21-06-2007, 20:41

I was being chased by a police dog last week, and made the mistake of trying to escape through a little tunnel, over a see-saw and through a hoop of fire. It finally caught me as I was weaving in and out of some sticks.

Stan Herschel, Motherwell

I don't know why cigarette manufacturers put those big warning stickers on the side of their packets. If anything, it is likely to put people off buying the product.

Mark Mayhem, Loughborough

Forget Prince Harry and his fascist ways. While eating a Birdseye Potato Waffle the other day, I was sickened to be able to fashion a crude swastika from the compressed starch matrix. And their Alphabites are no better. After carefully selecting a plateful I was able to spell 'Hitler is nice' by using z on its side for an n. How long are the frozen food giants going to be allowed to get away with this?

Billington Smyth, Bridgend

The saying goes, 'See a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck.' Well I beg to differ. I'm a matador, and whilst picking a penny up at work the other day I was badly gored in the anus. That's not good luck in my book.

Milos el Standish, Barcelona

Roberta · 21-06-2007, 20:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Belmit

I was being chased by a police dog last week, and made the mistake of trying to escape through a little tunnel, over a see-saw and through a hoop of fire. It finally caught me as I was weaving in and out of some sticks.

Stan Herschel, Motherwell

I just screamed laughing at that one!

Kell_ee001 · 22-06-2007, 00:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitten_caboodle

I have the profannisaurus!!

I have it somewhere too

I'll make sure to look it up when I get a chance

Feek · 22-06-2007, 10:39

Fan
Tastic

Von Smallhausen · 22-06-2007, 18:38

It's all ver well when the newsreaders remind us that the clocks have to go back, but I've got five clocks in my house and I can't remember where I bought them.

Jason Simmons
E-mail.

" When a man loves a woman, can't keep his mind on nuthin' else " crooned Percy Sledge during the summer of 1966. I would have to disagree, as during sexual intercourse with my wife I routinely think about our next door neighbour Brenda and her Border Collie.

David Thompson
E-mail.

I am deaf, and I like spang vids as much as the next man. I get the general drift of what is happening in the art films, but my enjoyment is lessened because I cannot hear the dialogue, and it would help my timing if I knew when the cash splash is bout to happen. Perhaps porn makers could include subtitles along the bottom, or better still, have deaf actors who could sign straight to camera. I understand it might be difficult for an actress in a spitroast or a triple entry gangbang, but at least they could make the effort.

Keswick Stan
E-mail.

Russell Brand, Russell Crowe, Russell Grant, Russell Watson. Is everyone with the first name Russell a complete **** ?

Tim Rustling
E-mail.

It is said that gentlemen prefer blondes. I hope the that lesbians prefer brunettes, otherwise we might have to organise some kind of rota system.

Johnny Pring
E-mail.

In his resignation speech, Tony Blair said that even though people may think many of his actions were wrong, he did what he did because he believed it was right. I have great sympathy with his position. I know from my own life that it takes enormous courage to do what, in your heart, you believe is right even when everyone else is criticising you.

Peter Sutcliffe
Broadmoor.

In electing right wing Nicolas Sarkozy over the socialist Segolene Royal in the recent election, the French have denied everyone a politician worth having a Hilary S**** over. I don't suppose you've got any pictures of her in a bikini have you ?

Stuie
E-mail.

Dymetrie · 22-06-2007, 18:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Von Smallhausen

In his resignation speech, Tony Blair said that even though people may think many of his actions were wrong, he did what he did because he believed it was right. I have great sympathy with his position. I know from my own life that it takes enormous courage to do what, in your heart, you believe is right even when everyone else is criticising you.

Peter Sutcliffe
Broadmoor.

LMAO!

Von Smallhausen · 23-06-2007, 13:12

I must say I was disappointed when Ford released the Mondeo as it broke with the tradition of naming their cars after jazz mags like Escort and Fiesta. I was hoping to drive a Ford Razzle or a Ford Readers Wives Tits Special.

Why don't football teams over here follow the example of continental Europe and have an electricity theme like AC Milan or Dynamo Kiev. I for one would be proud to support Aston Fusewire or Wolverhampton Integrated Circuit Breakers.

21-06-2007, 20:31	#31
Belmit The Mouse King of Denmark Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: The Winchester Posts: 6,476	Love the Immodium one! On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road. Alan J., London How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor. Reg Ashcroft, Bradford I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much, but isn't this taking gloating just a little too far? Dave Owen, Edinburgh __________________

21-06-2007, 20:41	#32
Belmit The Mouse King of Denmark Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: The Winchester Posts: 6,476	I was being chased by a police dog last week, and made the mistake of trying to escape through a little tunnel, over a see-saw and through a hoop of fire. It finally caught me as I was weaving in and out of some sticks. Stan Herschel, Motherwell I don't know why cigarette manufacturers put those big warning stickers on the side of their packets. If anything, it is likely to put people off buying the product. Mark Mayhem, Loughborough Forget Prince Harry and his fascist ways. While eating a Birdseye Potato Waffle the other day, I was sickened to be able to fashion a crude swastika from the compressed starch matrix. And their Alphabites are no better. After carefully selecting a plateful I was able to spell 'Hitler is nice' by using z on its side for an n. How long are the frozen food giants going to be allowed to get away with this? Billington Smyth, Bridgend The saying goes, 'See a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck.' Well I beg to differ. I'm a matador, and whilst picking a penny up at work the other day I was badly gored in the anus. That's not good luck in my book. Milos el Standish, Barcelona __________________

22-06-2007, 10:39	#35
Feek ex SAS Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: JO01ou Posts: 10,062	Fan Tastic __________________

22-06-2007, 18:38	#36
Von Smallhausen I'm Free Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Tyneside Posts: 3,061	It's all ver well when the newsreaders remind us that the clocks have to go back, but I've got five clocks in my house and I can't remember where I bought them. Jason Simmons E-mail. " When a man loves a woman, can't keep his mind on nuthin' else " crooned Percy Sledge during the summer of 1966. I would have to disagree, as during sexual intercourse with my wife I routinely think about our next door neighbour Brenda and her Border Collie. David Thompson E-mail. I am deaf, and I like spang vids as much as the next man. I get the general drift of what is happening in the art films, but my enjoyment is lessened because I cannot hear the dialogue, and it would help my timing if I knew when the cash splash is bout to happen. Perhaps porn makers could include subtitles along the bottom, or better still, have deaf actors who could sign straight to camera. I understand it might be difficult for an actress in a spitroast or a triple entry gangbang, but at least they could make the effort. Keswick Stan E-mail. Russell Brand, Russell Crowe, Russell Grant, Russell Watson. Is everyone with the first name Russell a complete ** ? Tim Rustling E-mail. It is said that gentlemen prefer blondes. I hope the that lesbians prefer brunettes, otherwise we might have to organise some kind of rota system. Johnny Pring E-mail. In his resignation speech, Tony Blair said that even though people may think many of his actions were wrong, he did what he did because he believed it was right. I have great sympathy with his position. I know from my own life that it takes enormous courage to do what, in your heart, you believe is right even when everyone else is criticising you. Peter Sutcliffe Broadmoor. In electing right wing Nicolas Sarkozy over the socialist Segolene Royal in the recent election, the French have denied everyone a politician worth having a Hilary S** over. I don't suppose you've got any pictures of her in a bikini have you ? Stuie E-mail. __________________ " Well, old bean, life is really so bloody awful that I feel it’s my absolute duty to be chirpy and try and make everybody else happy too." David Niven, 1910-1983.

23-06-2007, 13:12	#38
Von Smallhausen I'm Free Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Tyneside Posts: 3,061	I must say I was disappointed when Ford released the Mondeo as it broke with the tradition of naming their cars after jazz mags like Escort and Fiesta. I was hoping to drive a Ford Razzle or a Ford Readers Wives Tits Special. Why don't football teams over here follow the example of continental Europe and have an electricity theme like AC Milan or Dynamo Kiev. I for one would be proud to support Aston Fusewire or Wolverhampton Integrated Circuit Breakers. __________________ " Well, old bean, life is really so bloody awful that I feel it’s my absolute duty to be chirpy and try and make everybody else happy too." David Niven, 1910-1983.