Are you a hacker?

[Dr. Z]

http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2001...2056.2147.html

Oh dear, looks like I am a hacker

[petemc]

Hacker maybe, but sorely lacking on staying up to date Dec 2001!

[Dr. Z]

Yeah its old but ZOMG! If you buy an AMD processor, it lets you hack!

[Justsomebloke]

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites

As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature.

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.

[Garp]

but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

WTF? Any sensible hacker a) knows how to remove programs from the Add/Remove Programs window, and b) wouldn't be stupid enough to install such spyware infested software as "Comet Cursor" or "Bonzi Buddy".

[Del Lardo]

I am going to fly to the US on Monday and hand myself into the FBI as I am clearly a master criminal

[Davey_Pitch]

Originally Posted by Garp

WTF? Any sensible hacker a) knows how to remove programs from the Add/Remove Programs window, and b) wouldn't be stupid enough to install such spyware infested software as "Comet Cursor" or "Bonzi Buddy".

You're not buying that as a real article are you?

[Goose]

I'm sure people like that exist, even if the page is a joke.

[Haly]

Originally Posted by Davey_Pitch

You're not buying that as a real article are you?

It'd be nearly as funny as the article if so

[Garp]

Amusingly, using basic techniques:

telnet www.adequacy.org 22

SSH-2.0-OpenSSH_3.8.1p1 Debian-8.sarge.6

Even their website hosts are hackers, oh gnoes!

Originally Posted by Davey_Pitch

You're not buying that as a real article are you?

You mean its not?!

*calls the FBI and tells them it was a false alarm*


edit: In all seriousness, that OpenSSH has at least 3 fairly important security vulnerabilities that I've been able to dig up in fairly easy fashion. Hackers could potentially get access to that box.